I feel ugly

[txjeepin]

What do other people think of you and your looks? I'm sure there have been girls who have taken a shine to you, so they must find something attractive to look at.

And, in any case, bear in mind that most people caremore about the person inside than the packaging. A girl at work has buck-teeth which she's quite sensitive about, but I honestly can't remember the last time I even noticed it.

Talk to other people about what they dislike about their appearance. You'll be surprised about how petty most of their worries are. And you're probably being equally nit-picky about your own looks.

Well i don't know, but if a girl would take a shine to me i would be too preoccupied with my anxiety to notice, and i wouldn't have a clue how to ask her out o'r even talk to her.

im in the same boat bro. im 19 and never been in a relationship. i get depressed when i finally get to hang out with a girl the whole time i am thinking about how stupid i am or how i am so dry and have nothing interesting to say. then i usually avoid them because it is just easier to be depressed and avoid things.

 

[recluse]

What do other people think of you and your looks? I'm sure there have been girls who have taken a shine to you, so they must find something attractive to look at.

And, in any case, bear in mind that most people caremore about the person inside than the packaging. A girl at work has buck-teeth which she's quite sensitive about, but I honestly can't remember the last time I even noticed it.

Talk to other people about what they dislike about their appearance. You'll be surprised about how petty most of their worries are. And you're probably being equally nit-picky about your own looks.

Well i don't know, but if a girl would take a shine to me i would be too preoccupied with my anxiety to notice, and i wouldn't have a clue how to ask her out o'r even talk to her.

im in the same boat bro. im 19 and never been in a relationship. i get depressed when i finally get to hang out with a girl the whole time i am thinking about how stupid i am or how i am so dry and have nothing interesting to say. then i usually avoid them because it is just easier to be depressed and avoid things.

You've just described me to a t. I am avoidant because it's so much better than dealing with stuff.

 

[persian]

I am ugly. Outside and inside. Especially on the outside. :roll:

 

[Argamemnon]

I am ugly. Outside and inside. Especially on the outside. :roll:

Let's suppose you're "ugly" on the outside (although I'm sure you're exaggerating), why do you say you're ugly on the inside as well. You come across as a friendly person to me.

 

[SocialRetahd]

I am ugly. Outside and inside. Especially on the outside. :roll:

Let's suppose you're "ugly" on the outside (although I'm sure you're exaggerating), why do you say you're ugly on the inside as well. You come across as a friendly person to me.

I think he means boring.

 

[theman]

You ARE ugly.

I don't mean physically, but mentally.

Unlike men, who gauge a woman's attractiveness based upon cultural standards and some very basic dimensions of her body, women base most of their opinion of your attractiveness upon your own opinion of yourself, how you treat yourself, and how well you present yourself. Women's opinions of MEN are based almost entirely upon qualities which reveal a man's 'self-image' and 'confidence.' Your physical form is actually of little interest to most women.

Men look at the surface FIRST and work their way down. Women judge you by your core first and work their way out.

Funny, but true.

SO, when you say all those awful things about yourself, and believe them, and carry yourself in such a way as to exhibit those traits (oh yes, women can tell that you believe those things about yourself)....women WILL think you're UGLY.

So in a strange way, it is a self fulfilling prophecy.

The good news is this: all you have to do to become attractive to women is work on your core, work on your confidence, work on your self-talk and self treatment. For a woman, this is a tougher challenge because guys are so focused on the EXTERIOR, in order to really become more attractive, a woman must change her physical appearance.

So it is harder for a woman to change her attractiveness than for a man.

Here's what I'd suggest: Treat yourself like a very important person. What would you do for the most important person in your life? Take them out for exercise, read the best books, eat healthy food, try exciting things, etc.

I was right there with you for a long time. It sucks, but right now you're absolutely right.

PROVE YOURSELF WRONG. There are plenty of resources out there. If you don't want to use mine, use someone else's, but get this done for yourself. It can be done, and the rewards are HUGE.

 

[scareddd]

i feel the same way

whenever i'm around people, i start to think about how i look in their eyes and what they think of me and i just want to escape. i rarely leave my room anymore.

i'm really judgmental about how ppl look and that makes me even more self conscious. i try not to be, but it takes me a while to see ppl pass their appearance.

tbh, your photo doesn't seem ugly to me at all. i wouldn't comment on how you look if i honestly thought you were ugly...i don't think i'm mentally healthy enough to give encouraging words -_-

 

[SocialRetahd]

To be honest, recluse's looks don't hurt or help. Some people here have looks that are below average and are truly at a disadvantage.

 

[blonderedhead]

I think I'm ugly too. Sometimes if I have something to do in the bathroom like brush my hair or brush my teeth I have to turn my back to the mirror or keep the lights off. And I would like to think that I'm not that vain. I dont think it has anything to do with what I look like I just cant stand myself at all as a person sometimes.

 

[AM]

I turn my back to the mirror when I get out of the shower, because I know if I look I will pick everything out that's horrible about my naked body and then feel like shit for hours after, so it's easier not to look!

I don't think I am an ugly person in the face or mentally, even though I have been there and go through phases of where I think I am completely repulsive. I can be completely ready to go out for the day and then take one final look in the mirror and, blah, I sometimes will stay home.

 

[coriander1992]

Well, maybe I can't change your way of thinking, Recluse, but I've seen a few photos of you on this site, and you are certainly not ugly by any stretch!

People can be so mean without realising it even sometimes, either that or they just don't care...you just have to accept that not everybody will like the way you look, but so what?
That stupid girl who told you to put your glasses back on sounds so shallow and petty that she isn't a person worth impressing anyway, so who gives a monkeys what people like her think!?

 

[Primrose]

I love a guy in glasses!

 

[scorpion]

I used to feel that way, ugly, repulsive, fisical, emotionaly, a crapy personality, until i realise APD was making me look at a mask it wasnt real, at list know i dont feel i am repulsive, because i am not, or ugly. I am not a top model, but i cant realy honestly say i am ugly.
I think the levels of avoidance are lowering, I am also starting to see some things whith diferent eyes, and that as helped me a lot, maybe you can start to see yourself whithout the mask.

 

[shield]

Why don't u post a pic up and we will tell u if we think ur ugly.

 

[Argamemnon]

I also think I'm ugly, this causes enormous anxiety and pain.

 

[Chiaroscuro]

Ok, enough people have said it now Recluse. So you have to start believing it. You're not ugly. And I don't think everyone is just being kind or sympathetic. Sure, many people here are quite sensitive themselves so wouldn't say if they did think you were ugly. But what would happen then is that they would just keep quiet and you wouldn't have had any replies!

An ugly person is someone that you notice when you walk past them on the street and you think uuuuuggghh. There is a VERY small percentage of people who would make you look twice for being so ugly, just as there are VERY few people that would make you look twice for being so attractive. Most people are somewhere in the middle. So am I and probably so are you.

But you only have to think for a few minutes and you will think of ugly successful people. They are not deluded about their looks. They just don't get confidence from their looks.

Consider this. If you come around to realising you're not ugly then you won't worry about replulsing people so much right. And, if you're not real good looking either then you won't rely on or obsess about your looks, or be in danger of spending an hour in the mornings perfecting some metro-image, developing a paper thin hollywood type ego, just so that you can feed off people's shallow compliments. You are more likely to be a down to earth, genuine, selfless and ultimately interesting person if you don't have to think about it much either way. Without these kind of introspective thoughts we can concentrate more on what is around us.

And to add to what 'theman' said, I think most women are attracted to guys who can think outside of themselves either to flatter her or to talk about something else. But it's hard to have much more to talk about if we spend so much time worrying about ourselves and that includes how we look.

Go on the postpics threads and you'll see people who are very attractive but they just pick up on the one or two features that are less than perfect and worry about that. The only thing you need, to be capable of this kind of obsession, is to be human. Because every human falls short of perfection. So if you fall somewhere in the middle, you should look upon it as a blessing! You won't be singled out either way so there is nothing to distract you from developing some REAL confidence.

And about that girl who offended you. I guarantee you she would not have said that if you had a girlfriend at the time or if she saw you as generally confident. People are fickle like that. A girl once laughed in my face and said to me that I had a 'nose like a pig'. Two weeks later when I had a girlfiriend and some new found confidence, she said I was 'quite a catch'. So it just goes to show how insincere she was on both occasions.

 

[recluse]

Well, maybe I can't change your way of thinking, Recluse, but I've seen a few photos of you on this site, and you are certainly not ugly by any stretch!

People can be so mean without realising it even sometimes, either that or they just don't care...you just have to accept that not everybody will like the way you look, but so what?
That stupid girl who told you to put your glasses back on sounds so shallow and petty that she isn't a person worth impressing anyway, so who gives a monkeys what people like her think!?

Thanks that's really nice of you

 

[recluse]

Ok, enough people have said it now Recluse. So you have to start believing it. You're not ugly. And I don't think everyone is just being kind or sympathetic. Sure, many people here are quite sensitive themselves so wouldn't say if they did think you were ugly. But what would happen then is that they would just keep quiet and you wouldn't have had any replies!

An ugly person is someone that you notice when you walk past them on the street and you think uuuuuggghh. There is a VERY small percentage of people who would make you look twice for being so ugly, just as there are VERY few people that would make you look twice for being so attractive. Most people are somewhere in the middle. So am I and probably so are you.

But you only have to think for a few minutes and you will think of ugly successful people. They are not deluded about their looks. They just don't get confidence from their looks.

Consider this. If you come around to realising you're not ugly then you won't worry about replulsing people so much right. And, if you're not real good looking either then you won't rely on or obsess about your looks, or be in danger of spending an hour in the mornings perfecting some metro-image, developing a paper thin hollywood type ego, just so that you can feed off people's shallow compliments. You are more likely to be a down to earth, genuine, selfless and ultimately interesting person if you don't have to think about it much either way. Without these kind of introspective thoughts we can concentrate more on what is around us.

And to add to what 'theman' said, I think most women are attracted to guys who can think outside of themselves either to flatter her or to talk about something else. But it's hard to have much more to talk about if we spend so much time worrying about ourselves and that includes how we look.

Go on the postpics threads and you'll see people who are very attractive but they just pick up on the one or two features that are less than perfect and worry about that. The only thing you need, to be capable of this kind of obsession, is to be human. Because every human falls short of perfection. So if you fall somewhere in the middle, you should look upon it as a blessing! You won't be singled out either way so there is nothing to distract you from developing some REAL confidence.

And about that girl who offended you. I guarantee you she would not have said that if you had a girlfriend at the time or if she saw you as generally confident. People are fickle like that. A girl once laughed in my face and said to me that I had a 'nose like a pig'. Two weeks later when I had a girlfiriend and some new found confidence, she said I was 'quite a catch'. So it just goes to show how insincere she was on both occasions.

Thanks. I guess that when i am down in the dumps my view of myself becomes distorted, even my personality feels ugly when i am depressed and not just my looks. I guess there is a link to when i suffered from anorexia when i was in school, the same distorted image of my myself.

 

[recluse]

I love a guy in glasses!

Awww! Thankyou! Do i look sexy in this pic?

 

[SocialRetahd]

I also think I'm ugly, this causes enormous anxiety and pain.

Yea, bothers me too.