I feel that no matter how well I do, it's useless

[Apple Strudel]

Today in IT class, I was the first to finish and was very good at my work.

So, we had to do printing.

My teacher helped to print some papers and I did some on my own. And you know, he was holding a staple in his hands and I motion my papers towards him and proceed to hand the papers.

I went back to my seat and wanted to get down to arrange my other set of papers, and this teacher suddenly chided me saying that I shall hand up my other papers too and he actually thought I didn't know how to arrange the papers and his tone was firm and he even push his way through by starting to 'help' arrange the papers for me.

This seems all too familiar to me and he actually reminds of my past that is related to my working experience and people just assume that I am stupid and not giving me a chance to do it first before judging.

I actually had people see me at first sight and laugh at me in my face.

Sometimes, I wonder if my appearance has to do with it. I encounter too much of this nonsense and i'm pretty sure it wasn't a coincidence.

Then what's the use of doing better than others but yet rendered jobless or having my work undermine just because I have SA or perhaps by suspicion, that I am an undiagnosed autistic/asperger patient.

I used to visit the mental hospital and was diagnosed as having anti-social personality disorder and SA. But the doctors were even slightly mean to me, and letting other ppl know this is not helping much as it is a double-edged sword.

No wonder, I feel like dying MOST of the times.

 

[timidhorse]

This reminds me of the day I had 2 days ago. See, I was in my lab class for Chemistry and we were put into a line from tallest to shortest. Of course, I was the second shortest person, but I was stepped all over. Anyway, we were then put into groups of four for our first lab. Believe me I was very anxious, we were doing math review and I just stood there like a deer caught in headlights and they treated me like I was stupid by never giving me a chance. After, we got our own individual lockers and keys. A girl laughed at me when I asked her where to return my key. I was told earlier but I did not hear the assistant the first time because I was scared of her and couldn't concentrate at the time. She did point the way, but I did not thank her because her laugh threw me off.

It made me feel stupid....and not want to talk to people. At least now I know not to talk to that girl especially.

I can't believe people have the nerve to laugh at you in your face, that is wrong. I would laugh back at them if they did that, grr. And for your teacher I would say thanks for your help but I didn't ask for it. If only I had the courage to actually say that. I have insomnia so I am staying up answering questions. xD

 

[danstelter]

Well, I found that for me, the best thing for me to do is to do the best job I can as a way to praise God and satisfy my own high standards. Doing things for other people will often leave you disappointed. Who is this person that he is so special that you need to please him? Your teacher? Teachers can be wrong and annoying sometimes. When he attempts to do that, you have the opportunity to be assertive and say, "I know how to do this, please let me do it by myself." That should get him off your back. Sorry that this happened to you, and it will continue to happen again because many people are very aggressive and demanding, but I would try to teach yourself that you don't have to internalize what other people are saying, as they are often wrong and don't know your talents and abilities.

 

[Ashiene]

We are all already dead, we just haven't met Death yet.

 

[Richey]

I wouldn't call that useless though! i'm studying IT and i'm finding my knowledge to help improve the project is coming unstuck and i'm actually feeling more useless regarding the contribution i can make to improve the project because its so complex and its new territory. maybe stress management classes would help me. or an indestructable stress ball for now. laugh out loud.