I feel terrible

[Flyingheart]

I've just started living with 4 other housemates at uni and the first day was fine but this day I don't know what triggered it but I've just not talked at all because social phobia engulfs my every action/thought/emotion. They are really nice as well and considerate, you can tell they are trying to include me in the conversation but I just feel awful. They must think I'm really weird and rude for being sociable (sort of) one day and then not being in the conversation at all the next, even when questioned about myself, I can only give brief answers.

Does anyone else ever feel like this? I don't know what to do

 

[Phoenixx]

Sorry to hear, Flyingheart. You're not the only one that goes through this though. I've gone through it since I've gotten to college. I only have one roommate, but it's still hard. Some days I can be sociable, and will somewhat attempt an actual conversation. And then other days I can't bring myself to say more than a few sentences. Like, last Thursday night, my roommate and I stayed up til 1 am just watching tv and talking. Then for the last couple days, I haven't been able to even say much. It happens, on and off like this. It's annoying, and I'm sure she thinks I'm just weird too.

Sorry I don't really have any advice to give, since I don't even know what else to do either. I just sort of try not to worry about what my roommate thinks.

 

[Dead_on_Arrival]

Honesty is always the best policy.
I know this will be the hardest thing ever but I would
seriously consider letting them know about your problems. If you are living with them I'm sure they would understand and thus not judge you on how they percieve you to be through blind ignorance.

 

[Flyingheart]

Thanks. It is so hard not to care though. I feel like I should care, because I don't want to be this way. But I suppose caring what they think would probably just make me feel even worse right?
And my own feelings are supposed to come first.

I don't think I could ever tell them :S I was able to tell my only closest friend but not them, 2 of them I hardly even know. They are trying to be friendly but I know soon they will just know me as the odd quiet one, so they'll leave me alone. They're always down in the living room while I spend more time in my own room. I try to force myself to spend more time with them but I end up saying next to nothing.

 

[Nanita]

I know what u are going through! It´s a lot of pressure, feeling like that everyday.

I used to live in a dorm when I was in college+uni. I had a hard time living there, being social phobic and all. The first 2 years there I didnt make any close friends, and I would only talk with people once in a while, and at other times just stay in my room..for days.
But then a girl moved in in the room next to me. We started talking, cooking together, watching tv.
One evening everybody from my house were having dinner, and I had a hard time, I wasn´t speaking at all, just feeling nervous and feeling that I didn´t fit in. I left the dinner and went to my room. Soon that new girl came and knocked on my door because she noticed I left. I decided to tell her all about my difficulties with socializing... And she understood me, it didn´t freak her out at all... After that we became very close friends.

Anyway, I know how it is... I hope it will get better for you.. A home is supposed to be a place of piece and relaxing.

 

[Rufus]

It's cool that they're considerate like that.

It's much easier said than done, but just relax. Since you'll be making one yourself, ask one of them if they'd like a tea/coffee or whatever. I find it's much easier to talk to someone in a situation like that rather than going into a group of people where you're more put on the spot.

Report back with how many sugars they take...or else

 

[Flyingheart]

It's nice but for some reason them being nice makes me feel even more guilty and weirder 'cause I'm the complete opposite from them.

And the 2 that I don't know usually leave for work before i've even woken up...

But thank you for the vote of confidence to all of you. I know I should relax. I couldn't get a word out today but maybe tomorrow I will be able to.

It's just that once I've turned into that socially phobic person, it's really difficult to turn back because I'm afraid of being judged and I also can't even make myself be interested in them and their lives. It's like I'm a robot.

 

[Flyingheart]

@ Twiggle - how did you even bring up the topic of conversation, that you suffered from anxiety? I can't even BEGIN to imagine telling my housemates, particularly because 2 I've known for a year and the other 2 I know next to nothing about but they are friends and a boyfriend of one of the people I already know.
I don't know how to start something so deep like that up.