I don't know what to do.

#1
I've had social anxiety ever since I was a child. I've always felt anxious being around people. It's gotten worse over the years and now I think it's made me depressed. I wake up everyday with no desire or motivation to do anything.

It's been two years since I graduated from high school. I was going to start a cosmetology program, but I was too afraid, so I decided against it. I wasn't too sure that I wanted to go into cosmetology anyway. Now, I feel even more so that it really isn't for me. I knew that I wanted to go back to school, but wasn't sure for what. Now, I have a few ideas. (All in the healthcare field). I'm just scared.

I'm not doing anything with my life. I've never had a job and I don't know how to drive. I wish I had taken the course in high school. It's been over two years since the first and last time I tried to drive. My older sibling tried to teach me but he was yelling at me the whole time and it made me even more nervous and I ended up having a panic attack. I feel so ashamed for still living off of my parents and not knowing how to drive. My family thinks I'm lazy and don't know what I want to do with my life, but really, I'm struggling.

I have no one in my life that I could talk to about any of this. I have no friends and certainly no one in my family that I can confide in.

I wish I could just disappear. As if I never existed in the first place. I get so easily frustrated or irritated or even upset at the smallest things. I hate myself and my life. I never thought this is where I'd be.
 

kuurt

Well-known member
#2
I feel your frustration. I've had social anxiety my whole life. No friends, no job, no relationships - it's a lonely miserable existence. But I try to stay positive and keep searching for a solution.
 

lily

Well-known member
#3
i don't know what to do either. things r just not going well. I'm really sad, depressed and I've never had depression before. I don't know why I'm so kind and i get this. it's just so hard.
 
#4
I've been there so I'm gonna try to give you some advice even though I'm not sure if it's going to be helpful.

First you need not to let this depression get worst, it's very important. There is a lot of threads here about how to overcome depression and basically it implies exercice, sunlight and healthy diet (healthy lifestyle overall). Living with your parents is unconfortable but at least it gives you the opportunity to get your sh*t together while not having to worry what you're going to eat tomorrow and under which roof you're going to sleep. While you are making sure your depression is under control, here are other things you could do to overcome your issues:

1- You need to really decide that you are going to do everything you need to make your life better, because it's going to be a long ride and it's not going to be easy, so you have to commit to it.

2- You need to stop second guessing your decisions. Once you took a decision, try in general to stick with it and finish it. Even if it wasn't the right decision in the end, you will have learn something from it more than if you just gave up.

3- Overcome your fears. It's a long and bumpy road but it's the only way to get things done. Meditation, yoga, breathing exercice can help with the panic attacks, etc. At school, don't hesitate to tell your teachers about it so that they know what is going on if you're having a panic attack before an oral presentation.

4- Try to find activities that make you proud of yourself to construct some self-esteem and to feel proud of yourself in at least one area (sport, art, music, volunteering) when you feel like you suck in this other area you're trying to get good at (school, work, relationships).

5- Failing is OK. Failing over and over and over is OK. We don't live in a world where people remember that, but it is, and it doesn't matter if no one seems to agree with it. Someone once said something like, better to fail countless times than never try anything, it's true. Sooner or later you'll succeed at something, whatever it is, and then you'll know it was all worth the trouble.

I hope something there can help you a little.
 

Sacrament

Well-known member
#5
We're here for you, bud. The only way for you to get better is to get out there and get purposely exposed to the things you're afraid of. I know getting a job sounds scary, but you could start with something small at first. Try seeing if you can get a job distributing mail, or doing something at the library, or contact your local dog pound to see if you can get a part time job there helping out.

Above all, don't shut yourself in. Go for walks (without avoiding places that scare you), go for a run and go mountain biking. Exercise helps a lot.
 
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