doubleM
Well-known member
i just want to give up on life. i feel like im set on this one path in life and im going to grow old and die alone. i was always taught to be kind to people and thats what i have always done. im a very polite, selfless person in real life, not a doormat, just not selfish. yet, i find conflict, rejection, and hate everywhere i go. i dont expect everybody to like me, but i dont understand why everybody i meet seems to dislike me in someway.
the internet tends to be my emotional garbage can, so i often rant about stuff and say angry things. im not that way at all in real life. i think i may be a highly sensitive person because things bother me for days.
im considering quitting college because my grades have suffered and i cant make any friends or have any social life there. im on the brink of failure anyway. so whats the point? i cant go on feeling like this everyday trying to do work. the people there seem so arrogant and hypocritical to me.
im tired of being alone. women have always ran away from me and i just cant understand it. im not ugly, im not an idiot. not understanding that for years and years has made me deeply angry and bitter toward them. people dont understand what that does to a person over time. if 5 women reject you, you can get over it. after like 1000 women reject you, you start to hate yourself.
i talk to my parents about my issues. they are very religious, so all they really do is quote the bible at me and say condemning things. they dont even believe in my problem. that has really hurt me, because they wont even try to understand. i always feel terrible if i dont have their support. ive really come into conflict with those beliefs because of what has happened. religion just makes me feel worse.
recently ive turned to recreational drugs. nothing bad just something to help me cope with stress. something i thought i would never do.
maybe im just overly sensitive to life. i think that perception of things is important. but this? i dont know how to get over it. people are not born angry, it happens to them over time. then again maybe its all my fault, maybe i dont deserve anything. who knows.
i feel like no one understands, theres no hope, and i want to end it.
the internet tends to be my emotional garbage can, so i often rant about stuff and say angry things. im not that way at all in real life. i think i may be a highly sensitive person because things bother me for days.
im considering quitting college because my grades have suffered and i cant make any friends or have any social life there. im on the brink of failure anyway. so whats the point? i cant go on feeling like this everyday trying to do work. the people there seem so arrogant and hypocritical to me.
im tired of being alone. women have always ran away from me and i just cant understand it. im not ugly, im not an idiot. not understanding that for years and years has made me deeply angry and bitter toward them. people dont understand what that does to a person over time. if 5 women reject you, you can get over it. after like 1000 women reject you, you start to hate yourself.
i talk to my parents about my issues. they are very religious, so all they really do is quote the bible at me and say condemning things. they dont even believe in my problem. that has really hurt me, because they wont even try to understand. i always feel terrible if i dont have their support. ive really come into conflict with those beliefs because of what has happened. religion just makes me feel worse.
recently ive turned to recreational drugs. nothing bad just something to help me cope with stress. something i thought i would never do.
maybe im just overly sensitive to life. i think that perception of things is important. but this? i dont know how to get over it. people are not born angry, it happens to them over time. then again maybe its all my fault, maybe i dont deserve anything. who knows.
i feel like no one understands, theres no hope, and i want to end it.