Sometimes I feel like drowning in a pool full of people, I feel like learning to swim again, all that breath stuff to not go mad. Don't give up.
google deep breathing and relaxation techniques, there are plenty of instructions out there
It isn't as simple as deep breathing, it's more about controlled rhythmic breathing, it's about relaxing muscles. Deep breathing just deprives you of oxygen. Perhaps you need to find someone to show you how. There are many people who can help you.
I certainly need someone to help me, but I don't know who can help me.
There are therapists who can teach you how. Counsellors, pyschologists, relaxation therapists, yoga teachers.
My family is a very troubled family. Going to see a therapist means I have to tell them about my problems.
If you have a family member who has very twisted and selfish personality and could be violent some times and the other family members are living under stress the whole time and you know how much they have suffered, would you still be able to tell them that you also somehow have a mental condition when they thought you are the last hope in the family? It would break my heart to tell them.