i am just quiet

[waine]

I have been forced to work in a charity shop. The manager and others are loud, rude and just generally horrible. I work 9 to 5 four days a week and on one other day i have to go to a group session at training centre which put me on this placement for 12 weeks. I have never worked before. I went to uni. I am not comfortable around any people and this job is completely stressing me out. I have to work on till and out back. When i get home i have to go for a run or cycle just to releive the tension in me or else it feels like i will have a heartattack (and the feeling lasts for most of the evening at home too). And the worst thing is, i am on 60mg paroxetine (which got me through uni presentations).

Since this post i have managed to stand up to the boss (however she doesnt really listen to anyone and seems to like causing trouble). And even more frustrating is that i still care what others think. I have now after lasting the grand total of 10 days in the shop transferred to another charity shop. The manager is much nicer as are the people there. Only problem is i have realised just how quiet i am. I am kind of worried i am making other people uncomfortable by being quiet.

 

[LazyHermitCrab]

after another week or so it should get a little bit eaiser, but don't let it bring you down. Not everyone has to be outgoing, just be yourself

 

[Falkor]

Being Quiet is nothing to be ashamed of. You are just the way you are.
And YOu can LEARN to become more socially outgoing, or social skills.
You should seek for help, to cope with this
Because if this really stresses you out there should be something you can do about it, right

It was nice chatting to you btw , But the chat thing doesn't work properly I guess, so that's why i can't respond back anymore..
So just to let u know that

Good luck with the journey

Flowergirlie

 

[Johno]

Well in my opinion it is possible that you are making the others uncomfortable with your quietness..... Most people are ignorant to people with SP...They may be suspicious of you, ETC. Mostly in my experience they don't understand SP....I have had similar experiences........... It might (I stress might) be worth just telling them that you are not much of a talker (In your own way). At least they would then have some understanding....

 

[Feathers]

I'm glad the new manager is nicer and better!!

It's normal to care what others think, shows you're a caring person.. It can be frustrating sometimes, yeah.. Maybe best to busy yourself with something else then (a good book? or making the place nicer?) You could also try commenting on any interesting inventory, especially stuff you like, enthusiasm and good will usually come across well... what do you think?
Or do some CBT journalling if the thoughts get irrational/too negative/too OCD? Or talk to a friend (or us here?)

It takes a while for people to get to know each other...
You don't have to be a 'super-sociable rockstar' at work (though sometimes we might wish to be...) Some people really like more quiet people too.. And if the others will be patient and understanding in time you'll probably find it easier to talk to them too.. Some people who work for charities are really very nice, at least here..

You can find some easy topics, like work-related, or what you heard/saw on TV or on the radio or read online.. or an interesting book that you've been reading, or some interesting info you foud...

It sucks to be somewhere that you were forced to go, I know, and you're probably still not very cheerful about it.. It might still be worth it to think about the good sides of the job (maybe you like the architecture/a certain room/tea/any specific people or things you can write on your CV after working there...) I had jobs I hated and it helped to focus on the good things (and rant to my friends on the phone or iRL inbetween..)

What would you really like to work in and earn money with?

A first job is really difficult for many people... It takes time to get used to it.. (even for people without SA!)
In time, you will get used to it most likely, or maybe even find a better one?

 

[Johno]

Well in my opinion it is possible that you are making the others uncomfortable with your quietness..... Most people are ignorant to people with SP...They may be suspicious of you, ETC. Mostly in my experience they don't understand SP....I have had similar experiences........... It might (I stress might) be worth just telling them that you are not much of a talker (In your own way). At least they would then have some understanding....

She or He may as well know there is no Santa Claus..... As much as I wish there is. Generally people expect people to talk.... I didn't talk in year 11 at high school..... Guess what, my teacher singled me out and I became the focus of the class for a few months.....Then they lost interest and went elsewhere..... I was just painfully shy back then.....