I am a ghost

Ben_Rowland

New member
Hello, Everyday I go to school and I learn. While there, no one really ever talks to me in any of my classes. If anyone does it is a few short words, nothing really more. I walk around everyday seeing everyone else talking and such and I feel left out, no one even like takes a glance at me. No one really ever pays any attention to me. I feel like a ghost of society, I don't talk to people much, I have bad conversation skills it's hard to even have small talk or even eye contact. I am in my mind most of the day thinking about things, like I feel like I have so much personality and life inside me but I just don't know how to release it. I guess I'm just a man made thought's. I go home read or do something, its kinda the same at home i can talk to my family a bit more but its like the same, and then I lay down to go to sleep and I just think about my life and my situation, and think about how I have no friends, or really a purose in life, or anyone I feel that really cares for who I am. I retrospect on this everynight. I look at the big picture and I feel that I've missed out on my life. I think feel everyone else is hanging out and while I'm always alone. My greatest fear is that all of this will continue into my adulthood and I won't ever get out of this, I'll work till I grow old and eventually die and never experience true life and happiness. I was wondering if anyone feels this way, and if there is I guess I'm not alone.
 

chazer2010

Active member
i've been with sa my whole life.i waited years to make me a better person by my medication.along the way i realized that's not gonna happen.pills can't make you the person you wanna be.i know that now.you can't get out of the situation you are in without taking responsibility.i know it's been so fu*king hard to even spend a second in your life,but you haven't taken responsibility and that's why you are in this place.i know you wanna punch me in the face when you read it but that's the truth.every human is different from each other.some doesn't even have to try to get things done.some has to try harder to get things done.we belong to the second part.you wanna make friends? you wanna be cared? you wanna be visible? you wanna be noted? then you gonna have to take responsibility for yourself.go talk to every guy you wanna be friends with.i know it's hard to start,it's hard to keep the conversation going.but you just have to try.starting is the hard part.it's gonna get easier.just say whatever comes to your mind.don't hesitate
 

Diend

Well-known member
try to wear an interesting t shirt like game of thrones or video games. someone will find it interesting and comment on it. join a club that interests you. be loud in class. it is better to be noticed than invisible in your situation.
 

LazyHermitCrab

Well-known member
aw this was me throughout school too. well at the beginning of classes sometimes ppl would talk to me and seem interested but after the first couple weeks of classes i was pretty nervous and just said the standard things to get by. after those couple weeks they would realize i wasn't interesting and then i'd feel left out. one time i was trying to be friendly and the person wasn't friendly back and seemed to not like me for no reason and then i switched classes and it got better :/ if you're in college there's more freedom to change things. not sure how old you are so yeah
 

Aylaa

Well-known member
I was the same in high school. And I'm sure you're not the only lonely person in your school. Maybe look for other outsiders to be friends with? ;)
 

Maura

Member
I feel the same, people dislikes me cause I'm not outgoing , so they think I'm naive or a b*tch , I'm misunderstood and socially awkward. I always wonder why people dislikes me what did I do wrong? :( I've never had a date.and nobody ask me out . I accept I need to be more extrovert. But it's hard to find people who are into the same interest as me.
 

alwayswet

Member
Ghost I am 51 yo and I am still socially awkward. I have missed out on a lot of things in my life because of it. I don't want to scare you but if YOU don't conquer it now you could very well end up lonely and depressed like me.

High School is always tough because it seems like you're always having to meet some standard. Plus your hormones are all in flux and girls are becoming more attractive and used to be a whole lot easier to talk to when there wasn't this thing called sex. You wish you were Adonis instead of Poindexter. And there always seems to be somebody who has it all, looks, money, etc.. but you know what a lot of those people fail because they have it all but can never get enough.

My advice to you is let your grades do the talking first (school is for learning), and then join an activity like football or ski club (something you are interested in). The more you interact now the easier it will be in later life. And for goodness sakes don't fall into the trap of alcohol or drugs like I did. The false sense of security only leads to jail and failed health.

People like us are our own worst enemies. Think positive. I hope you are more successful than I was (am). Good luck, Grasshopper.
 

Aqua

Member
I had something like this a couple of years ago, but luckily I got over it. I can hardly remember anything from that year, but I do remember the feeling of loneliness.
I found that being around people that I could trust really helped, but if you have no one then I'm always here to talk if you need :)
Trust me, if you try to change it it will get better, but if you do nothing nothing will change.
Good luck! :)
 

Niche23

Member
That's how I felt in high school, although I feel that way now on occasion. My advice is to focus on one person who could potentially be a friend. You don't need dozens of people to be happy if you've got a few good quality friends. Also don't underestimate your family. My sister and I are really close and I count her as a friend as well.
 

eevee

Member
Hey Ben -

I can completely relate to what you're saying. This was me my whole entire high school and college career. I made several close friends and that's the only people I ever talked or hung out with. I never made friends with any new people in any of my classes only people I already previously knew or people I worked on group projects with. And even those people I worked in group projects with, I never talked to or saw outside of class. I understand how lonely and depressed it makes a person feel. Just know you are not alone and there are plenty of other people with struggle developing friendships. Have you talked with your family about this? I know it might be something you're embarrassed to share with them, but they care about you and can really help you. I agree with what everyone else has said. You should seek out social interaction one-one or in small groups and build your comfort level around others. Identify other quiet people who have similar interests as you and try to get to know them better. I know it's tough, nearly impossible feeling, but the sooner you start the more likely it is for you to overcome this.
 

Xervello

Well-known member
Hello, Everyday I go to school and I learn. While there, no one really ever talks to me in any of my classes. If anyone does it is a few short words, nothing really more. I walk around everyday seeing everyone else talking and such and I feel left out, no one even like takes a glance at me. No one really ever pays any attention to me. I feel like a ghost of society, I don't talk to people much, I have bad conversation skills it's hard to even have small talk or even eye contact. I am in my mind most of the day thinking about things, like I feel like I have so much personality and life inside me but I just don't know how to release it. I guess I'm just a man made thought's. I go home read or do something, its kinda the same at home i can talk to my family a bit more but its like the same, and then I lay down to go to sleep and I just think about my life and my situation, and think about how I have no friends, or really a purose in life, or anyone I feel that really cares for who I am. I retrospect on this everynight. I look at the big picture and I feel that I've missed out on my life. I think feel everyone else is hanging out and while I'm always alone. My greatest fear is that all of this will continue into my adulthood and I won't ever get out of this, I'll work till I grow old and eventually die and never experience true life and happiness. I was wondering if anyone feels this way, and if there is I guess I'm not alone.


The only thing you can do about it, is by doing something about it. The best way to improve your conversational skills is to practice communicating. Try writing down your thoughts and get used to expressing what it is your thinking, feeling. That will also help release some of what's building up inside of you. After awhile, once you have a decent command of how you want to say what it is you want to say, try practicing it on people. Maybe older people first. You could volunteer somewhere and get used to interacting with older people who are more kind, more interested in what you would have to say. Then take that experience with communicating and try it out on people your own age. It sounds like a difficult, arduous process, but it beats the current strategy, I bet.
 

PugofCrydee

You want to know how I got these scars?
I'm a ghost too.

No one knows who I am as a person.
No one knows the real me.
I feel like I'll be this shadow forever.
It's a shame because I think I'm actually a nice person with a lot to give.
 

PhantomPod

Well-known member
I was the same way in high school and college. I was never bullied but I did often feel like a ghost and I didn't talk to many people.

I will tell you this though... if you do not change something now while you are still in high school, you will grow up to be a lonely adult like you fear.

I would encourage you to work very hard to try to improve your social skills and try to talk to people and read positive thinking books (Awaken the Giant Within by Tony Robbins). I attempted to be more outgoing when I was 18 (right before I started college), but I can admit that my attempts were half-assed and I now wish that I tried harder.

I am now 28 and I am a lonely adult with no friends. I would encourage you to try to change things now while you are still younger because it is easier to see and meet new people when you are still in high school/college, so you have more of a chance of putting yourself out there. Now that I am an adult, all I do is go to work and see the same people everyday. I am not exposed to lots of different people like I would be in school. So, if I want to change something and meet new people, I am now in a position where I need to try extra hard to put myself out there since I'm not just meeting new people in school all the time now.
 
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