Human Beings

J

Jannah

Banned
I live with this fear that people will try to hurt me verbally or physically. As crazy and "macho" as I act on the outside, I have only fear and anxiety inside. I am terrified of people, but I also hate and envy people.

The only times I feel safe is at home and in my classes, reading and writing is my only solace. Evey time I step foot outside...anything goes. I am on the defense, I am sarcastic, and I accept that anything could go wrong so I have to deal with people with little to no emotion or empathy. The minute my guards come down with someone I am totally different, I am sensitive and extremely sympathetic, but my fear (anxiety) gets the best of me. I do have a certain attitude with how the world is right now, but at the end of the day I don't know if it is me or them.

Can anyone relate to any of this?
 
hoddesdon

hoddesdon

Well-known member
This sounds like being single-mindedly focussed on what might happen, rather than what is reasonably likely to happen.

Of course, you can not guarantee that what is apprehended will not happen, but realistically it is highly unlikely 99.99999999999% of the time.
 
U

UnOccupied

Well-known member
I think we ALL can. It seems like you do have glimpses of what it feels like to be anxiety free. You should try doing CBT, and get to a point where your anxiety-free moments are more prevalent. It has helped me, and it can benefit everyone on here.
 
3lefts

3lefts

Well-known member
Yes! I can relate very much.
For starters you have places that you feel secure. That's good. I sleep with a lock on my door :D
It's not unusual to be scared. I hate it, but I've felt terrified most my life. If you want to change, if you want to love and like and share and be a part of some greater social fun, you have to let go a little bit at a time. You have to get hurt, or rather you have to take the risks to get hurt. Yikes.
I don't know how to help but I know from experience it's terrible learning to trust. Sometimes, you will get hurt, sometimes you won't. Most of the time it feels like all of the time you'll be getting hurt. It takes acceptance and it takes perseverance.
This fear won't save you from being hurt. I know this. I have learnt this and been put through agony doing so. No, it won't save you and it won't save the people you'll want to love. Hate won't get you closer to what you want. It only hurts the people that get close to you. You'll hurt them in a chance to avoid being hurt yourself.
 
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