I've never been really good at introducing myself so I guess I will just talk a little about why I decided to get involved with this site. I apologize in advance for a long post.
Growing up I always had problems with social situations. As I got older my problems only got worse, until I couldn't even go into a grocery store without having panic attacks. I was diagnosed with a few mental illnesses (one of which being social anxiety disorder), started going to therapy multiple times a week, and was medicated -heavily- for about two years. After all of that work I was informed that I didn't need therapy anymore, nor medications. And I felt so amazing. I still had some quirks but I honestly agreed with the doctors and felt great for quite a while after that. I was able to be in social situations with new people, had several friends, and even could stand in front of people and talk, all while feeling reasonably comfortable.
Flash forward to about a year ago where I came up with the idea to move from New Jersey to Florida in order to go to college for photography. I figured this was a good idea because the Daytona State College supposedly has a really good photography course and because my parents have always frowned on me wanting to do photography for a career (they say I won't be able to make any money with it--which I honestly don't care about). Luckily my friend grew up in Daytona Beach and wanted to move back down there. So we agreed to find a place and move in together in order to split the costs. We found some work and saved up, I managed to string together around $5,000, plus the money that my friend had saved. So we decided we had enough to make our way.
The first month or so was wonderful down here, we looked for work, got along well and hung out a lot alone and with her friends. Then, shortly after I started my first semester for school my friend's mood suddenly changed. Her behaviors became erratic and she stopped inviting me to go along with her to meet her friends, even though she brought up on multiple occasions how they mentioned they wanted me to be there with them as well. She also progressed to where she barely is even at the house we are renting and when she is here she insists on moving to any room I am not in.
Once the changes in my friend began I started noticing my own emotions fluctuating and am now feeling much like I did a few years ago. I am truly afraid of just going outside to get the mail because I am worried that the neighbors will be outside to talk to. My English class grades have been slipping because I have panic attacks when I think about having to do the assigned speech that is due. Whenever I go for job interviews I throw up several times before leaving the house. And I have many other complications all brought on from my anxiety.
And that is pretty much where I am at right now. I am completely broke, still looking for work, struggling through the rest of this semester, and have no idea how I will make any new friends down here since I once again cannot stand being in public without somebody I know and trust (which takes a long while for me to find).
This is also where I am stuck, I just don't know what I should do about anything, about my anxiety, about school, or finding a job. I don't even know who to ask for help figuring out what I should do. I guess my parents were right about moving down here being a horrible mistake. I should have stayed in New Jersey going to school for computers where I would make more money and was able to have a social life.
I am very sorry for how long this introduction post is I just would like some other opinions about my situation and am not sure where to turn. I very strongly appreciate any advice given and thank-you for spending your valuable time reading what I have said.
-Don
Oh, and while writing this my friend explained why she stopped inviting me places. According to her she noticed how nervous I have been getting in this new area where I know nobody and felt like she was putting me through too much stress.
And as a post post script I just would like to apologize again for this being so long... I feel a little embarrassed writing so much for people who I have never met to read...
Growing up I always had problems with social situations. As I got older my problems only got worse, until I couldn't even go into a grocery store without having panic attacks. I was diagnosed with a few mental illnesses (one of which being social anxiety disorder), started going to therapy multiple times a week, and was medicated -heavily- for about two years. After all of that work I was informed that I didn't need therapy anymore, nor medications. And I felt so amazing. I still had some quirks but I honestly agreed with the doctors and felt great for quite a while after that. I was able to be in social situations with new people, had several friends, and even could stand in front of people and talk, all while feeling reasonably comfortable.
Flash forward to about a year ago where I came up with the idea to move from New Jersey to Florida in order to go to college for photography. I figured this was a good idea because the Daytona State College supposedly has a really good photography course and because my parents have always frowned on me wanting to do photography for a career (they say I won't be able to make any money with it--which I honestly don't care about). Luckily my friend grew up in Daytona Beach and wanted to move back down there. So we agreed to find a place and move in together in order to split the costs. We found some work and saved up, I managed to string together around $5,000, plus the money that my friend had saved. So we decided we had enough to make our way.
The first month or so was wonderful down here, we looked for work, got along well and hung out a lot alone and with her friends. Then, shortly after I started my first semester for school my friend's mood suddenly changed. Her behaviors became erratic and she stopped inviting me to go along with her to meet her friends, even though she brought up on multiple occasions how they mentioned they wanted me to be there with them as well. She also progressed to where she barely is even at the house we are renting and when she is here she insists on moving to any room I am not in.
Once the changes in my friend began I started noticing my own emotions fluctuating and am now feeling much like I did a few years ago. I am truly afraid of just going outside to get the mail because I am worried that the neighbors will be outside to talk to. My English class grades have been slipping because I have panic attacks when I think about having to do the assigned speech that is due. Whenever I go for job interviews I throw up several times before leaving the house. And I have many other complications all brought on from my anxiety.
And that is pretty much where I am at right now. I am completely broke, still looking for work, struggling through the rest of this semester, and have no idea how I will make any new friends down here since I once again cannot stand being in public without somebody I know and trust (which takes a long while for me to find).
This is also where I am stuck, I just don't know what I should do about anything, about my anxiety, about school, or finding a job. I don't even know who to ask for help figuring out what I should do. I guess my parents were right about moving down here being a horrible mistake. I should have stayed in New Jersey going to school for computers where I would make more money and was able to have a social life.
I am very sorry for how long this introduction post is I just would like some other opinions about my situation and am not sure where to turn. I very strongly appreciate any advice given and thank-you for spending your valuable time reading what I have said.
-Don
Oh, and while writing this my friend explained why she stopped inviting me places. According to her she noticed how nervous I have been getting in this new area where I know nobody and felt like she was putting me through too much stress.
And as a post post script I just would like to apologize again for this being so long... I feel a little embarrassed writing so much for people who I have never met to read...
