How to overcome social anxiety! A definitive guide

[BlueDays]

Not that I'm a strong advocate of his approach (I assume it will work for some people in varying degrees) but in your opinion is there a better way to combat SA? Not trying to put you on the spot, just wondering if you have some other insight toward this.

^No I don't.
I stopped looking for a "cure" when my last psychologist (the best one I have seen) said to me "Social Phobia can not be cured, but it can be managed"
The reason I did not want to respond the the OP's suggestion for "overcoming" social anxiety is that it seemed rather extreme and was, in my opinion, portrayed as a one size fits all remedy.
It rubs me up the wrong way when someone states that if something worked for them then it must work for everyone, because then those of us that it does not work for, feel like failures.
Very glad it worked for him though.

 

[Bronson99]

^No I don't.
I stopped looking for a "cure" when my last psychologist (the best one I have seen) said to me "Social Phobia can not be cured, but it can be managed"
The reason I did not want to respond the the OP's suggestion for "overcoming" social anxiety is that it seemed rather extreme and was, in my opinion, portrayed as a one size fits all remedy.
It rubs me up the wrong way when someone states that if something worked for them then it must work for everyone, because then those of us that it does not work for, feel like failures.
Very glad it worked for him though.

I think we could all take *something* from it, though.

I'm considering that one thing about suddenly getting on the ground and doing push-ups in a retail store... maybe that's a good one to start with?

And you should try it, too, BlueDays! ::

 

[I'm Not There]

Sounds to me your psychiatrist is using the Simple 30 program. The challenges with the push ups, screaming and talking to cute girls are similar. Look it up, it's not cheap and it's far from easy, but it has helped me tremendously. I went from an introvert with crippling social anxiety to an introvert who's not afraid to talk to girls or to embarrass himself in public. I didn't get a girlfriend out of it, but I did experience the first three dates of my life with girls I met through the program.

 

[jdp343]

You're right, the only claim I can truly make is it worked for me, and I can't promise it will work for anyone else, though I think it will. I mean this with the utmost respect, but I think some people bash the idea because they're scared to do it. It's easy to be a critic when you just sit and watch other people try. The way I see it, you gave nothing to lose by trying.

And to those who worry about what if people I know see and things like that, that is irrational because the whole point us not to care what other people think.

SA is a condition not a personality trait! I've found the best thing is to not think and just do!

 

[Kiwong]

I'd go into Victoria's Secret, but the problem is I don't look good in women's lingerie.

 

[Bronson99]

And to those who worry about what if people I know see and things like that, that is irrational because the whole point us not to care what other people think.

Exposure therapy like this in addition to the need to continue doing it is rational if, and only if, you want to project an outgoing image or to become outgoing yourself.

Otherwise you'll just have people scratching their heads, or saying unpleasant things about you behind your back.

In short, this "exposure" therapy is for people who like to be social/outgoing but find themselves inhibited by anxiety.. it is not for introverts who prefer to have very little social/emotional obligation.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

The way I saw it was desperate times called for desperate measures... If SA has a moderate impact on your life then taking it slow makes sense. If it's to the point of get better or kill yourself, then for me I say slow and steady won't cut it.

I do have to agree with you here. Because if it comes down to your life, well, might as well just go all out anyway. Nothing illegal or "harmful" I suppose.

It may be hard to figure out how to begin such a challenge though. It may not be the same for all people in this situation. For me it was getting a very social customer service job. It was the best exposure therapy, and I was getting paid The real changes are still taking place. Real change takes time. Like losing weight. I am getting more and more comfortable being in my own skin. It takes practice and patience. Sometimes I still lose it. But now I am doing something about it and not just thinking about doing something about it. Makes all the difference.

 

[ajohnson2]

I think the main message here, and what has helped me the most (although I'm not 100% there) is exposure therapy in general. Countless studies point to accepting your fear and I think that it combined with CBT and/or medication is an effective route for most people.

The exposure described here is intensive for better or worse. The more common approach is using hierarchies and building up. My issue is that I've worked up to my moderately high situations but can't seem to break past it. I've realized that it's because I still don't have full acceptance of the physical symptoms I am scared to display.

I am currently trying the Panic Away approach which takes acceptance one step further and actually encourages you to demand the panic, sweating, blushing, etc.

 

[EasySkanking]

Yeah I can agree with this. Once when I (for some reason) danced in front of a crowd (and it was terrible)... I realized that even though I looked completely stupid, people's reactions weren't really that bad... after that, I was Social Anxiety free for 3 days... till I was talking to someone and I felt another fear coming (SA is a combination of a lot of fears) and isntead of facing it, I ran away, the whole SA in general came back... I guess I felt unsafe again. I suppose if you do this over and over (facing your fears like this guide tells you to) eventually you can rewire your brain to just be like that (anxiety free). I haven't tried that yet... but seems to work. According to this person, he overcame SA like that...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iGk87bug2s

As for a cure, I'm pretty sure there is one... you just gotta keep working on it, and eventually you'll find it... and even after that, there is still a lot of work.