How to handle embarrassment?

TreeBones

Well-known member
Another rant-

A few days ago a new student started at my school, he's very nice and cute, but he also is friends with pretty much everyone at school, which I find really intimidating (as if the opposite sex didn't scare me enough already). Anyway for the past couple of days he kept asking me if I wanted a ride home even when I told him I was okay and that I only lived a couple blocks away (on the first day he practically slammed on his brakes and backed up in the middle of the road, which he apologized for by the way.)

Today he asked again and I didn't want to seem like a **** or snob so my response was "ummmmmmmmm, sure, ok, why not?" (who says that? :eek:mg, and the m's are not exaggerated, I stood there like an idiot for a while trying to think of what to do ) my teacher was right there and it was REALLY embarrassing because she asks me if I want a ride all the time because she lives by me and often catches me on my way to school most of the time I tell her I'm ok , I'm fine, the usual stuff, only once in a while will I say ok because I don't want to seem like I'm avoiding her, anyway now she probably thinks that a cute boy will only have to ask me once and I'm all for it, that's so creepy and I couldn't stand it if she thought that!

Anyway the car ride was a just overflowing with awkwardness at least for me, I was really nervous and he couldn't hear a thing I was saying because I was so quiet, and when we got in the car I didn't even start to tell him where we were going... he's not psychic for goodness sake :kickingmyself: I just seemed like a moron, I cannot be myself for the life of me, I was so nervous I literally don't even remember anything he said, I only remember parts.

Annnnyyyywayyyys, my point is, is that when I got home I felt like crap I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can even show my face at school, my teacher and him and the other kids are going to think I'm an even bigger freak.
ugh I don't know what to do, I don't know how anyone with s.a. can go out into society embarrassing themselves all the time, it's mortifying.
 

alxbkr

Well-known member
Honestly, it doesn't sound like a big deal. You're just making it bigger than it really is. Some people are quiet, you are one of them. You're also shy which is normal.
Don't overthink this and don't beat yourself up over it.

Also try ditching the mentality of "embarrasing yourself." You're ****ing awesome. Whatever you do is awesome, because you are an awesome person.

Reality, people don't give 2 shits about what people do. They're too busy caring about their own image.
 

Luckylife

Well-known member
Annnnyyyywayyyys, my point is, is that when I got home I felt like crap I don't know what to do. I don't know if I can even show my face at school,...

The point is you didn't hit it off and felt down. This is normal, he most likely felt this too but because he has so much more going on he can take his mind off it.
 

theoutsider

Well-known member
You know what I got from your post? The fact that people with SA (including myself) are way too hard on themselves and blow things way out of proportion. Reading what you wrote, I can say that since you have accepted rides from your teacher on occasion, he/she is not going to look down on you for accepting a ride from this guy. Nobody at school is going to be talking about you and looking at you like you are a freak. If I were your teacher and I witnessed the exchange between you two, I certainly wouldn't think much of it. You two are in the same age group and your teacher is not so it's natural that you would be more inclined to want to ride with him.

This guy must think you're attractive or he wouldn't be putting so much effort into offering you rides. The fact that you were shy doesn't make you look like a moron. Look at it this way. You have turned down rides from him more than once in the past so it's reasonable that you would feel a little uncomfortable after being asked so many times. At worse, he could lose interest if he isn't into shy girls but he's not going to see you as some kind of idiot and talk badly about you.

Trust me, things aren't anywhere near as bad as you think they are.
 

TreeBones

Well-known member
yeah you guys are right, I blow things way out of proportion. I just don't realize it until later, for example, If someone says hi to me and I don't answer right away because of whatever reason it'll drive me crazy all day. I guess I should just take a chill pill aha. :ironicsmile:
 

Luckylife

Well-known member
yeah you guys are right, I blow things way out of proportion.

No, you aren't blowing this out of proportion. The whole factor here is about 'after'. If he had got back home and stayed in listening to music and musing, it would have been equally tough for him. Instead he would have grabbed a bite to eat, jumped into his pick-up and gone over to some friends, might have talked about it, might not but he would have done all this to take his mind off it.
 
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