How to deal with resentment

[KiaKaha]

Prepare for rant...

How do you guys deal with resentment? Do you have any at all? I can feel myself becoming increasingly bitter towards everything and everyone and I am fearing for my own sanity and safety (I am not going to do anything stupid, but I am afraid that maybe one day I will..) I mean...I am just getting a little tired of people...everyday I get ****ty pissy looks from people, no one takes me seriously and I feel like I cant relate to anyone..

It seems to me that the only people who get any kind of respect in this world are those who are self satisfied and think they have a sense of undeserved entitlement. No one respects manners, or being helpful, empathy or going out of your way to make others feel comfortable...no one cares about that.

I think most people value the wrong things in life..it seems to be all about "status" and what others can do for them...not about altruism or selflessness.

I have faced rejection my whole life...and I feel like I dont deserve it... I treat others the way I would like to be treated because I know what it feels like to think people cant stand you, but its never reciprocated..instead I get a judgement within a minute or two and they think they know all there is too know about me (and others..its not all about me..)

The last time I talked to a stranger she told me to "**** off...I dont want to talk to someone like YOU..." and the other week I smiled at someone and she pulled the finger at me..

I am beginning to think humanity is weak...and afraid...and increasingly uncaring about everything as long as it doesnt effect them..

where are all the laid back, funky, interesting, friendly, caring, open minded people in the world?

Why do people PISS me off so much...? I feel like punching someone...

I am sorry, I have had a really bad day...and I am just...exhausted, and over this world I live in...

 

[PunkRotten]

I can see where you are coming from. The way I deal with such things is to not focus so much on others. Took me awhile to start caring about myself and what I wanted out of life. I realized there is a a lot of stupid people and decided not to waste my time and energy on it. Try to connect with your values, if you don't have any start working on it. Let that guide you and stop paying attention to others. Cause really, you are more in control that you think.

 

[Uber Schnitzel]

If I were you I would move. From your post it sounds like these people are the ones with the problem

 

[Waybuloo]

NewZealand, harsh country makes for harsher people?? Lol I dunno please don't hit me..

I think the problem is with people in Western countries in general. They are usually self serving and only nice to you if there is a reason. It comes with the territory of being in a big rat race and looking after your own interests.

I had a friend from Hungary who came to stay in the UK for a year. She was absolutely disillusioned with the people here after being let down by so called friends who made fun of her and showed their true colours - being superficial and insensitive. She said that where she is from, people would come onto the streets with food to welcome any newcomers and ask you questions and welcome you into their homes. They would ask you if you have any problems and talk about it. Now that sounds like the sort of place I want to live in.

About your resentment, I get it too from time to time, and sometimes it is so strong that my otherhalf looks at me weird and says he feels this vibe from me lol. Well at least he's being warned! No well I just let it pass, because at the end of the day it always will. Bad feelings though will leave a mark on you. I try to occupy my time so that I get good feelings, like randomly checking out a funny youtube clip to brighten up my mood. I find it helps to have things in your mind and chores to do because then you are preoccupied and being productive makes me feel much much better too.

Maybe you have too high an expectation from people, try to lower that and realise that everyone is fallible and weak in one way or another. They all have a hard exterior to protect their weaker centre, that's why they are the way they are.

 

[guessed]

It's not you, it's the people you've been unlucky enough to come into contact with.

I used to get very bitter and pissed off with people too. I realized that I would never be able to change them, so I had to cut off all contact with toxic people.

Like Punk said, figure out what values matter to you. That also includes what treatment you are unwilling to put up with.

If it means changing your job or location, it may be worth it. You deserve to be treated with respect.

 

[Loudog]

I'm like that to sometimes. I look at other people and I think what makes them so special. Why do they have a bunch of friends I'm stuck by myself. I'm funnier than that guy, I'm cooler than that guy, I'm better looking than that guy. and way nicer than that douche bag. Why can't sombody give me chance. It takes a long time for me to open up to you, just be patient.

 

[Illusions]

I have faced rejection my whole life...and I feel like I dont deserve it... I treat others the way I would like to be treated because I know what it feels like to think people cant stand you, but its never reciprocated..instead I get a judgement within a minute or two and they think they know all there is too know about me (and others..its not all about me..)

The last time I talked to a stranger she told me to "**** off...I dont want to talk to someone like YOU..." and the other week I smiled at someone and she pulled the finger at me..

I think those people are the ones with the problem. Forget about them, they're not worth it.

I've felt the same way. I've wondered so many times (a lot of the time, I direct these questions to the God whose existence I doubt); why do people have to be so f*cked up? Why won't people give me a chance even though I treat others the way I want to be treated? Am I less deserving? Why not me?

I know it isn't healthy but I'm having a hard time shunning these thoughts right now. But like previous posters have said, people who reject you aren't worth thinking about/your energy.

 

[Feathers]

Hi! This is the thread I registered because of.

I like to think of myself as mostly having dealt with my SA/shyness and they are a thing of the past, but apparently not so.. Where do I get the best discussion on this? Here!

I think the world is full of wonderful, caring people.. In fact, at 18 or so, I read some books that suggested a lot of what you experience is how you get yourself to believe, and it makes most sense to believe and expect people to be mostly great and wonderful.
People have envied my roommates (?) and generally I really had great experience with them and everyone, most of the time.. There were a few exceptions, I think I learnt a lot from that too..

It's not just about being 'nice', you also need to learn to be assertive sometimes.. and put up healthy boundaries etc. And indeed maybe go travel and find other interesting quirky people.. (I suspect many are hiding in their rooms! And I think many are probably here!)

I'd say about 80% of people are really great, and maybe 1% or less are really terrible.. Then, it may be about location and such things, or doing things that interest you etc. Or finding right communication strategies etc.

For you guys out there, I sympathize.. Some girls can be shallow/materialistic, or may sense any 'vibes' that don't seem right to them or may seem afraid that guys would want too much of them (it can be difficult if you try to be nice to someone too, and they fall in love with you, and then what?) - so as cruel as it is, some girls have developed 'defense strategies'... unfortunately some horrible guys have learnt how to bypass all that too.. in fact, guys behaving a bit like jerks may have even better chances with some girls than the really nice guys.. there seems to be a whole 'industry' on how to talk to girls so they are impressed out there.. (I can post book titles if interested, lol) Some people go more for like a bit of arrogance than 'niceness'... It's a system and can be studied, sort of.. (Not sure how ethical it is, though)

Still, I found myself fighting with resentment over some things - for example, people who get paid for doing absolutely nothing, or wrong things, or 'not enough'.. I mean politicians and governement agencies or even non-profits and the like.. Soo much could be done, and isn't..!!

But then again, maybe it's a chance, an opportunity - for us all, to make it better?
food for thought.

 

[Fighter86]

I would say I feel quite a fair bit of resentment towards my parents. If not for their controlling attitude towards me and my genuine fear of them, especially my father, I would throw caution to the wind and do what I really want to do.