How to be more confident.

[muxmux]

Just a video i stumbled upon, might be of some interest for some people here

How to Be More Confident, Letting Go && Being Tall - YouTube

 

[Boby]

Tell me something I don't know ,what do you do when you have irrational,uncontrollable fears?It takes more than words to let go and leave your fears behind.

 

[muxmux]

Tell me something I don't know ,what do you do when you have irrational,uncontrollable fears?It takes more than words to let go and leave your fears behind.

It takes more than words yes, it takes actions. But starting by hearing some encouraging words is always good.

 

[bsammy]

umm she is a beautiful woman, im sure she gets bombarded with compliments and looks every single day of her life..of course she will be more confident..

 

[Silatuyok]

Just looking at the girl standing there making a heart with her hands makes me not want to watch it. Yes, I'm being judgmental.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Well, it's a good idea to post videos like these.
Perhaps one person will watch it and it will help them?
If it can help even one person, then it was worth posting.

 

[Invisibleman]

Yeah im sure confidence is easy when you're good looking. I took one glance at the thumbnail and said no thanks....

 

[mikebird]

A main confidence-builder is to grow some inner fury serious enough to instantly smash someone's face with my fist, and then resort to simple weapons available for further damage. It's never happened, due to praiseworthy self-management and I hope it's not cowardice, or driving self-esteem downwards

 

[muxmux]

If u guys watched the video you all would see that she was bullied, called anorexic, has no boobs, that she would never get a bf also she was called Transformers and Grass Hopper so shes know what shes talking about, not just shes confident because she has a pretty thumbnail.

 

[Silatuyok]

Methinks she doth protest too much.

 

[KiaKaha]

I think this thread should be taken more seriously. Seeing as confidence is the key ingredient to make all areas of ones life easier, and it would seem to be the number one trait that the majority of people seem to find attractive and not having it is viewed as weak - I dont think enough importance is placed on it - how many people here lack confidence? Many I bet.

How do you become confident? Where is the line between confidence and arrogance? Can you be friendly and confident at the same time? When do you assert yourself and when do you back down? Why is it important in the first place? How do you maintain self esteem? What is the secret of feeling confident when you have been beaten down again and again?

 

[KiaKaha]

So I just watched the video - its pretty superficial. Shes not really telling you how to be confident - at least shes not getting to the real heart of the matter. Shes tall and shes attractive - and she seems to think this is a bad thing. I would be interested to see how confident she would be if she was short, over weight and had a face like a monkeys ass. Its easy to say "dont care what other people think" or "live your life for yourself" which are all good sentiments obviously...but HOW?

When you dont have confidence - caring about what other people think and seeking validation from the outside is how you get by. Its not addressing the real problem. When you dont have confidence its very very difficult to find that from within yourself.

 

[da_illest101]

I got to admit, I only watch the video because she look good, not the whole thing but a bit

 

[coyote]

Self-confidence does not necessarily imply 'self-belief' or a belief in one's ability to succeed. For instance, one may be inept at a particular sport or activity, but remain 'confident' in one's demeanor, simply because one does not place a great deal of emphasis on the outcome of the activity. When one does not dwell on negative consequences one can be more 'self-confident' because one is worrying far less about failure or the disapproval of others following potential failure. One is then more likely to focus on the actual situation which means that enjoyment and success in that situation is also more probable. Belief in one's abilities to perform an activity comes through successful experience and may add to, or consolidate, a general sense of self-confidence.*

it's not about thinking you're infallible

it's about not needing to be infallible in the first place

try letting go your grasp on life a little

and hold onto the world more lightly

*Confidence - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

 

[coyote]

(i couldn't watch the video on this particular device)

 

[coyote]

When you dont have confidence - caring about what other people think and seeking validation from the outside is how you get by.

stopping caring about what other people think and stopping seeking validation from the outside is how you get confidence

 

[KiaKaha]

stopping caring about what other people think and stopping seeking validation from the outside is how you get confidence

I know, thats true - but its not as easy as just 'stopping' - thats why so many people do it. If you dont have confidence to begin with - then seeking validation, as unhealthy and detrimental to ones emotional well being as it is - is what makes you feel good about yourself - its an unhealthy cycle and I think what is important is figuring out a way to break it.

I dont think anyone can completely stop caring about what people think of them anyway - but perhaps not placing so much importance on other peoples opinions is probably more realistic.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

Just looking at the girl standing there making a heart with her hands makes me not want to watch it. Yes, I'm being judgmental.

Same here.

Its easy to say "dont care what other people think" or "live your life for yourself" which are all good sentiments obviously...but HOW?

That is where I get stuck too. I don't know how not to be the way I am--which is anxious and insecure. This problem is so complex...many of us struggle with actual mental illnesses too on top of the low self-esteem.

So, I listened to about five minutes of this video. A lot of what this girl is saying makes sense. I have read lots and lots of things over the years that make a lot of sense. But I am still here. Eh.

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I dont think anyone can completely stop caring about what people think of them anyway - but perhaps not placing so much importance on other peoples opinions is probably more realistic.

Yeah. Like how can I care less about what my mother thinks about me? Her voice always pops in my head and it is not a very nice voice. I love my mother very much, but she can say the meanest things sometimes. Or maybe I just interpret it that way. I dunno. I feel like such a failure I feel everyone must see me that way.

 

[KiaKaha]

I think its unreasonable to think that you can just "not care" what people think of you. Every single one of us cares about what others think and how we come across to others - we all desire acceptance and love. I sometimes think that this is the motivating force behind why any of us does anything at all.