How many of us have attempted suicide?
- Thread starter jschuley
- Start date
dpr
Well-known member
No I've never tried. Thought about it a lot and still think about it a lot now, but I don't think I will ever actually do it. I have 2 friends who have both tried. Both took a whole bunch of pills and both had to have their stomachs pumped at the hospital and eat that charcoal stuff that makes you puke for days. I would probably use pills too if I ever did it. Or just jump off a building or something.
I actually knew a gu who tried to kill himself with a gun (don't know what kind of gun) and failed. He shot himself in the face and didn't die. He's blind now. Also, I find this really interesting, he is now happy, and no longer wants to kill himself.
I actually knew a gu who tried to kill himself with a gun (don't know what kind of gun) and failed. He shot himself in the face and didn't die. He's blind now. Also, I find this really interesting, he is now happy, and no longer wants to kill himself.
Nihilipilification
New member
I've never tried, but I've contemplated it seriously many times, not due to fear or lack of will, but shame. Shame for the person that I have become and the lack of accomplishments I should have made at 21.
Fairylicious
Active member
It's been a LOOOOOONG time since...
I, I have attempted... a few times. A couple time a bit more serious than a couple others. But i haven't in a looooooong while.
it's certainly not because my life has become so much more livable, but i can say that i've become fortunate enough to know i have a couple of people that mean the world to me that would be so pissed and hurt if i did that to myself that i can't manage up enough self-hate to break their hearts... it's a dilluted and twisted mind trip... the only reason i ever wanted to take my life was surrounded in being sick of worring about what everyone else wanted me to be. No, the only real reason i haven't tried anything stupid in a couple years is that it would piss off someone dear to me.... but i digress.
I'm kinda glad that such a thing is off the table for me... I'm really going through some shit right now, and i know how impulsive i am, with how wreckless i have been of recent and it just is not a good combination.
But It's a dark dark place. A place i still see every night. I don't wish it on anyone. it's amazing the mind fucks you can pull on yourself.
I, I have attempted... a few times. A couple time a bit more serious than a couple others. But i haven't in a looooooong while.
it's certainly not because my life has become so much more livable, but i can say that i've become fortunate enough to know i have a couple of people that mean the world to me that would be so pissed and hurt if i did that to myself that i can't manage up enough self-hate to break their hearts... it's a dilluted and twisted mind trip... the only reason i ever wanted to take my life was surrounded in being sick of worring about what everyone else wanted me to be. No, the only real reason i haven't tried anything stupid in a couple years is that it would piss off someone dear to me.... but i digress.
I'm kinda glad that such a thing is off the table for me... I'm really going through some shit right now, and i know how impulsive i am, with how wreckless i have been of recent and it just is not a good combination.
But It's a dark dark place. A place i still see every night. I don't wish it on anyone. it's amazing the mind fucks you can pull on yourself.
continuallylost
Active member
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getbornagain
Well-known member
My religious beliefs prevent me from commiting suicide. I've thought about suicide every day for probably 7 years even though I could never do it. Life's a bitch.
KurtG85
Well-known member
I felt the same way as all as you until I tried meds. Then I realized that there actually is hope of taking a good amount of pleasure from life because the inability to enjoy life is chemical for the most part. I still have a lot of shit that is dysfunctional and messed up in my life and I probably would be more functional overall without meds but I am incredibly grateful I realized that there is tremendous potential for getting enjoyment from life thanks to modern knowledge of brain chemistry rather than wasting my likely one and only chance on this earth as the most dominant and technologically advanced species to have ever lived in the most dominant civilization to have ever lived. True none of that makes a difference if you can't experience pleasure but thanks to meds there is hope. Adderall is personally what probably most saved my life. Having lost my brother, I know how unbelievably hurtful it would be to my family to take my own life. That is what kept me alive long enough to get the help my parents blatantly ignored that I needed. Taking your own life is literally like taking the lives of everyone that loves you too. Living with that grief is in fact much, much, much more difficult than just offing yourself, wherein you just cease to ever be conscious again.
Walk
Well-known member
I'm a depressed guy, but I'm obsessed with keeping my body in good health, generally speaking. I mean, if I'm in a bike and I fall, that's acceptable I guess, but no way in hell am I cutting myself. Fuck that, I'm not making myself my own enemy any more than I already am at times.
Suicide. I've thought about it a few times and I do kinda get a feeling of relief when I think that all of life's issues won't exist if I die. But the ugly side of suicide; the lack of joy, lack of accomplishment, lack of concern for those who love you kicks in. THEN suicide seems like a cowardly way out of life. We're all going to go out anyway, might as well have a few laughs, a few triumphs, and a few orgasms along the way lol
Suicide. I've thought about it a few times and I do kinda get a feeling of relief when I think that all of life's issues won't exist if I die. But the ugly side of suicide; the lack of joy, lack of accomplishment, lack of concern for those who love you kicks in. THEN suicide seems like a cowardly way out of life. We're all going to go out anyway, might as well have a few laughs, a few triumphs, and a few orgasms along the way lol
I am still thinking about suicide until now. 
DavidJonas
Member
My mother has been suicidal a couple of times during my life and I have a strange respect for it, for that complete refusal of life. On the other hand my mother's behaviour has caused me a lot of pain and I think has effected my psyche in negative ways. For one thing, if I come home and the house seems empty, I always walk around the house, check all the rooms, even in the basement, to see that my mother isn't lying there somewhere, dead.
I've been clinically depressed as well, and I agree with other posts that you lose your rational thinking and your personality is distorted by the drowning in sadness that is depression. At the time I was living alone and late one night everything felt so utterly hopeless (I can't remember if something had happened or if it was just the general state of things that made me want to die), I was crying violently and just put on my jacket and started walking into town. I decided that I was going to jump from an old crane in the north harbour district, and walked over the bridge in the cold and the snow. Eventually I stopped crying but just soldiered on, feeling like I had to make a desicion, everything or nothing, typically depressive thinking. I didn't feel anything, wasn't at all bothered by the cold, just kept telling myself not to chicken out. Anyway, when I got to the crane there was a big pile of snow covering the ladder which was surrounded by a sort of metal cage, and there was no way I could get up there, so I just turned around. I went home and slept and the next morning I cycled to school like nothing had happened, but I felt very cold and detached, in a joyful way, it was almost omnipotence. I could get out.
But afterwards, I got medication which made me better (therapy sadly didn't help me at all, but I'm still very sceptical about CBT and SSRI, and positive towards more advanced therapy). I never think about suicide for too long nowadays since it would cause great harm to my family.
Sorry for taking up so much space with this, and sorry if my english is a bit odd, I'm swedish and don't write in english very often.
I've been clinically depressed as well, and I agree with other posts that you lose your rational thinking and your personality is distorted by the drowning in sadness that is depression. At the time I was living alone and late one night everything felt so utterly hopeless (I can't remember if something had happened or if it was just the general state of things that made me want to die), I was crying violently and just put on my jacket and started walking into town. I decided that I was going to jump from an old crane in the north harbour district, and walked over the bridge in the cold and the snow. Eventually I stopped crying but just soldiered on, feeling like I had to make a desicion, everything or nothing, typically depressive thinking. I didn't feel anything, wasn't at all bothered by the cold, just kept telling myself not to chicken out. Anyway, when I got to the crane there was a big pile of snow covering the ladder which was surrounded by a sort of metal cage, and there was no way I could get up there, so I just turned around. I went home and slept and the next morning I cycled to school like nothing had happened, but I felt very cold and detached, in a joyful way, it was almost omnipotence. I could get out.
But afterwards, I got medication which made me better (therapy sadly didn't help me at all, but I'm still very sceptical about CBT and SSRI, and positive towards more advanced therapy). I never think about suicide for too long nowadays since it would cause great harm to my family.
Sorry for taking up so much space with this, and sorry if my english is a bit odd, I'm swedish and don't write in english very often.
playthepsychedelic
Well-known member
I tried once , taking an overdose of sleeping pills...ended up lying tree days in my bed, my parents thought I was just tired cuz my exams just ended...
I don't think I'll be trying it again, no matter how depressed I get, not having a reason to live for isn't a reason to die :? ...
I don't think I'll be trying it again, no matter how depressed I get, not having a reason to live for isn't a reason to die :? ...