How long is long enough?

[Blinkers]

It's that time of year - parties, Christmas functions etc. Not much fun for any of us I'm sure.

Yesterday was the work Christmas function, and even though I would have much rather done anything else, I went along. And not only that, I tried my best to join in and for once I wasn't the first, second or even third person to leave first. So all in all, I was quite proud of myself even though the experience totally drained me.

But now I have a real doozy to deal with. My partner is having a huge birthday/Christmas party. Hired out the local pub and for a brief moment when I temporarily dragged myself out of denial, I heard that there will be up to 200 people there. To make matters worse, over the years I probably would have met most of these people, even if only briefly. So I have a crushing expectation that I will have to speak to most everyone there.

Of course I have no choice but to go, but the question is - for how long? If it was only for a couple of hours I could probably bluff my way through it. But it is an all day thing, from lunch till stumps. All week I have been trying to think of an acceptable excuse for being able to leave early, but I don't want to seem rude or offend anyone. Even the thought of being able to leave but then having to say goodbye to everyone is freaking me out.

So any ideas? How can I get out of there? How long is long enough?

Geez I hate this time of year. January, where are you??

 

[Klaus]

It's that time of year - parties, Christmas functions etc. Not much fun for any of us I'm sure.

Yesterday was the work Christmas function, and even though I would have much rather done anything else, I went along. And not only that, I tried my best to join in and for once I wasn't the first, second or even third person to leave first. So all in all, I was quite proud of myself even though the experience totally drained me.

But now I have a real doozy to deal with. My partner is having a huge birthday/Christmas party. Hired out the local pub and for a brief moment when I temporarily dragged myself out of denial, I heard that there will be up to 200 people there. To make matters worse, over the years I probably would have met most of these people, even if only briefly. So I have a crushing expectation that I will have to speak to most everyone there.

Of course I have no choice but to go, but the question is - for how long? If it was only for a couple of hours I could probably bluff my way through it. But it is an all day thing, from lunch till stumps. All week I have been trying to think of an acceptable excuse for being able to leave early, but I don't want to seem rude or offend anyone. Even the thought of being able to leave but then having to say goodbye to everyone is freaking me out.

So any ideas? How can I get out of there? How long is long enough?

Geez I hate this time of year. January, where are you??

You won't be able to hide from this things all your life. If I were you I would just dive in this event and try not to have a heart faillure.
Flight or fight? Choose fight...

 

[Feathers]

What really works for me is stepping out for a few moments, when it gets 'too much' or awkward, or whatever.. You don't have to talk to the same people all day/night and you don't have to stay in a conversation that bores you - you can at least go to the toilet!! Or step outside, maybe someone else will be outside and you can chat a bit... Also, you can gravitate to people you get along well with - if you want, you can stay with mostly the same people all day/night, if they are good to talk to!! And if you feel comfortable with them... And you can only speak with one or a few people at a time... Just casual 'Hi, how's it going?' or 'Haven't seen you for ages' can work okay, for the rest of them...

I actually sometimes find it easier in a big 'crush' - usually someone will start talk to you, so you don't have to approach first and think of topics... Also, most likely people won't mind if you just quickly 'breeze through' if there will be a crowd...

And some time will be occupied by eating and drinking... So not all focus will be on conversation.. And you can talk about food and such too, which can be easier sometimes... You can move elsewhere to get some different cookies!! Or a different drink...
Maybe you can even give yourself some 'tasks' (this works good if you have some volunteering/charity/a purpose on your mind - it can be as silly as trying to find your niece a husband or something like that) you can chat to as many people as you like with a purpose of finding supporters/sponsors/helpers for your cause, or for the purpose you think you'd like to do and don't know how... (It's good to discuss it with husband first and see if it's something that goes with company goals and politics, otherwise think of something else... And you may not wanna be direct about the niece thing, you can just try to find some 'candidates' to casually invite for another activity at the same time you invite your niece, or something like that?) Or, it can be as simple as 'find 5 (or 3, or 1) nice people who I can enjoy talking to... You make 'small talk' until you find someone you can talk with more.. -? And maybe you'll even have fun??

Oh, and about how long - maybe discuss it with your hubby or 'wing it' - if it's very boring you could come up with an emergency? Maybe have a friend call you at a designated time? (if cell phones are allowed? ) Also, does your partner need to do some 'shmoozing' for his position, or is his/her work position secure? All things to consider... You might even surprise yourself how long you last! (You could aim for 'longer than at the last meeting/party'?)

(I dreaded going to some things too, and they turned out fun!! Or, you at least get to practise your social skills and beat your SA!! And maybe meet some nice ppl??)

 

[Kiwong]

Parties and christmas functions I do not enjoy, so I simply do not go to them. We had a christmas lunch and a unit walk last week and I said no, I was too busy. I wasn't missing out on anything. I focus all my energy on the things I enjoy in my life, not be worried about spending time with people I do not know.

It's a pub? Could you play pool? Have a tipple on the pokies, keno? Listen to songs on the juke box? Do something that will distract you from having to talk to people?

 

[Untamed88]

I feel bad for you, I managed to get out of all my Christmas season invites. But I do kind of hate myself for running away from social situations all the time.

I will say why don't you give it a go and see if you enjoy it. I went to my sisters Christmas party two years ago and I actually really had fun.

But then again you might be like me. I'm always concerned that I will spend the next few days pulling apart all conversations I had throughout the night and analysing how retarded I came across.

If you arrive late then the party will be in full swing and you might not get noticed much and then you can slip out when the first few people do.

Really I don't have much advice. My solution to these things is to get really drunk and then I just end up looking like an idiot.

 

[Blinkers]

I feel bad for you, I managed to get out of all my Christmas season invites. But I do kind of hate myself for running away from social situations all the time.

I will say why don't you give it a go and see if you enjoy it. I went to my sisters Christmas party two years ago and I actually really had fun.

But then again you might be like me. I'm always concerned that I will spend the next few days pulling apart all conversations I had throughout the night and analysing how retarded I came across.

If you arrive late then the party will be in full swing and you might not get noticed much and then you can slip out when the first few people do.

Really I don't have much advice. My solution to these things is to get really drunk and then I just end up looking like an idiot.

I can really relate to the pulling apart all conversations bit. I'm exhausted just thinking bout it!

I will be going. I won't let SA run my life completely. If it were only for a couple of hours it wouldn't be so bad. I can psych myself up for that usually by thinking that the function will be over in the time it takes to watch a crappy movie. Unfortunately this function goes for at least 8 hours.

*Sigh*.... I'll just have to do my best, because that's all I can do ::

 

[RegalSin]

Your wife throws a Christmas party, duh and invites people duh.
Not a biggie, just mingle with them, and eventually it will all come back to you.
Also if not you can even get, as drunk as possible and then make a complete arse of yourself. Maybe your wife would even make you leave. Also who said the party is limited to the bar, There is outside, your house, and what nots.