How do you socialise without drinking or sport?

[Invisibleman]

yeah I hear you.Where im from you have to be an abusive binge drinker and heroin addict to really have friends or socialize. Theres no clubs or anything. Maybe when I go off to college and that Il find something. Im just going to have to stay in my room until then::

 

[Dryad]

yeah I hear you.Where im from you have to be an abusive binge drinker and heroin addict to really have friends or socialize. Theres no clubs or anything. Maybe when I go off to college and that Il find something. Im just going to have to stay in my room until then::

See that is how I feel, when I was in secondary school the only people I could hang out with drank and did drugs. I refused drugs which they was okay about but that cut my time with them, so I started drinking to try and make friends. At age 15 I stopped drinking all together and if I do go out I just have a lil cider.

College was amazing, you meet people who like the subject your studying... though oddly I did not make many friends in my class but I did make friends with other people in college. It worked so I could have a lot more fun. However I had to come back as the economy is sheit, so we now run this business but I do not see being able to get a job for another 10 years as all the jobs seems to go to friends and family

 

[Feathers]

Aww, I loved uni too, have missed some of my friends too... Some of them have visited a few times, is that possible for you? Or to go visit them? (Could any of your friends maybe tell you of a job then? Maybe if you renew the friendship a bit, you'd hear of new opportunities...?)

Small towns can be 'not open' to newcomers, this is ludicrous though.. are you sure it was that bus?

You mentioned 99%'ers... Are there any 'equally well-off' people, and where do they hang out? (Or was that the drinking and drugs?) Do your parents have any 'family friends' (with kids approximately your age) or relatives you could hang out with (cousins and such)?

Is there an elderly librarian or someone who could be sympathetic and tell you more about the history of this place and your family and this place? (Maybe a relative, gradparent or aunt...)

In the tourism sector you probably need to be around on weekends and in the 'season', can you be free in 'off season' or at least on some days? Or take biz-related seminars elsewhere etc? Some places in big cities are 'lively' throughout the week, maybe you could take a day or a few off to go out elsewhere/visit friends etc?

The courses/workshops I've taken were in bigger towns/cities, and I met some nice people there...

Personally I'd try to find out what the deal is in that town, do they maybe/also just hate tourists and tourism industry or what... (it can be a sentiment in touristy places, I've noticed it) Have you talked to your family/parents about this, have they had similar experiences? Who do they hang out with? Are they part of any charities or community things you could be part of too? Do they support local shops/marketplace/local economy? Maybe things to consider... Also what is your place's policy? (An upscale hotel didn't let locals drink or dance there, so there was some unfriendly feelings there too..)

Take care girl and hope things get better!!

 

[razzle dazzle rose]

I don't have much of a social life myself (and I live in a huge city) so I cannot really offer advice. I do like some of the suggestions others have posted here, like volunteering. Oh, I just see what you wrote about volunteering. What about through your work? Any chance of meeting people there to do things?

And the church idea is another one...those church people are so social! I am agnostic so I don't go to church, but I used to as a teen 'cause my mom would force me to. They always had all sorts of activities planned...with food and games and stuff. And prayer. Ah, prayer. Maybe one day I will become religious out of desperation. I am not quite there yet.

Do people really do meet up in those meetup.com groups? I have browsed the group offerings there and they all seem defunct.

 

[foyle]

I honestly want to cry my eyes out. 12 years living here and I do not have any friends. I have tried to talk to people but I get ignored. I really think I am going to give up on socialising for a few years. I just don't want to deal with all this.

I have been in the same exactly situation for the last 7 years.

What are your interests? Have you tried to set up a walking group or similar?

 

[miserablecow]

What about using the site mmetup...there are plenty of clubs/groups on there you can try.

 

[foyle]

I think it's a bit difficult here since, except for Dublin, there is no much options.

I think it's easy if you are religious, there are lots of meets up. I am not religious myself, but I went to a Christian meeting once. They were organizing a anti-abortion vigil and I got really upset because I support pro-choice. So, I would recommend to go to a religious organization if you are not into it...

I love the countryside and hobby crafts. In the three occasions that I went to these places, everybody knew each other for a while and they just ignored me.

I mean, if you live in a big city where you got plenty of opportunities, you can keep trying. But when everything you have in a local pub and a church, if you get rejected, there is no much you can do.

So, if Mahoma doesn't go to the mountain, then the mountain will go to Mahoma. I think the best is to start something by yourself.