How do you know when you are getting better?

[Snowdrop]

I was just wondering, how does it feel when you are getting over social anxiety/phobia, depression, whatever?
I have been stuck with SP and depression for years but I AM slowly trying to get better. Is there anyone who has actually overcome their problem? and how do you KNOW when it works? I have been going round in full circles so many times now, thinking that I'm getting better or have gotten better only to realize that I knew all along I wasn't. It's gotten to the point where I dare not believe that things are truly improving for me and I have to analyze tentatively. sorry if the last bit doesn't make sense

 

[royalx60]

I'm a work in progress but... The only answer I've ever bought was from a psychologist I used to see who wrote a book. He described a psychologically healthy person as someone who has a strong sense of competency with a low level of self awareness or self consciousness. As your probably aware with SA/SP people are usually hyper-aware of themselves, others and their surroundings in public and social situations. I don't think this is a complete answer to your question. But it kinda makes sense to me. If you find other answers please let me know.

 

[Feathers]

Snowdrop, there have been some discussions like this - is it possible to get better, has anyone gotten better...?
Do a search and read some older threads...

Define 'getting better' for you...
What are your wishes/goals.. One good friend, or several people you hang out with occasionally, or...?

I was sucidical at 16 or 17, thinking I'd never have any real friends or a boyfriend, and three years later I sorta had all that
It wasn't 'magically perfect' though...
I think many people with depression/anxiety may dream of 'perfect things'..
In reality, it may be grey or colorful areas... You may get better in one area, then suddenly come to a new different area: oops! Out of comfort zone, fear/anxiety sets in, once you master that area, you become comfortable there, if you stay in that area it may be okay, if you go somewhere new, well.. you get the gist!

I was terrified my first year at Uni, the rest were much easier!! But partly the excitement and adrenaline of 1st year was good too!! And a very fond memory.. meeting new people, new experiences...

So as long as you learn and live, there will probably be 'comfort zones' and new experiences... If you stay in the comfort zones, it may be easier (or not!) as long as you live and learn... Spirals is a good way of describing it, we grow up and go upwards in spirals.. at least that is how I think of it...
I have had more and less sociable and 'sunny' times in my life... and I'm pretty sure there will be again, lol...

Also, if your problems have a reason, like food sensitivity or lack of minerals/vitamins or chemicals around you such, if you find it and fix it, things can get much better!!

 

[Snowdrop]

I'm a work in progress but... The only answer I've ever bought was from a psychologist I used to see who wrote a book. He described a psychologically healthy person as someone who has a strong sense of competency with a low level of self awareness or self consciousness. As your probably aware with SA/SP people are usually hyper-aware of themselves, others and their surroundings in public and social situations. I don't think this is a complete answer to your question. But it kinda makes sense to me. If you find other answers please let me know.

Thank you for replying. Yes, I think that makes sense, I am hyper aware of myself. I guess...that would be one of many factors that start to change when you are "getting better". I'll tell you if I find out any more.

 

[Feathers]

Have you read 'The Feeling Good Handbook'? Great introduction to CBT, I found it very helpful. There are a few questionnaires there too, I think you might find them helpful too..

And some books say to make like charts or a line like this:

1______________10​

and then chart each day from 1 to 10 (or 1-100 or whatever) and keep track of it.. there are different ways of measuring it...

There are even some online sites where you can track happiness levels

You could also make your own definitions and color squares in a notebook with little squares or such? Or draw happy faces and sad faces on a calendar? (That way you can see if it's hormonally related too )

Also, in art school it may be difficult not to analyze and overanalyze... I know I did, especially at the beginning... Part of doing art is constant analysis and doing comparison between reality and painting/result.. This can be good when drawing from a RL model, may suck if doing it to your life.. So finding ways to 'plug in' and 'plug out' analysis can be helpful.. Maybe you can have like a special scarf or ritual for painting/drawing etc. And drown thoughts with music etc.

Also in art school, some chemicals may be involved... (graphics room, paints...) if you're a bit chemically sensitive, it can be a bit of a problem... at least try to counteract this with enough good minerals and vitamins ideally from good nutrition!!

You may also want to get a good perspective on things. I was obsessing about some quite unimportant things back at the uni. When perspective changed, it got much better!!

 

[Snowdrop]

Thanks for your input Feathers I think you hit the nail on the head when you said people with anxiety/depression dream of perfect things, it's totally true. I was like that a lot at some time dreaming of the perfect job, the perfect boyfriend...but I know that it isn't like that, all it did was make me feel kind of sad and longing for something I wasn't even doing anything to make happen. I focus on much more 'real' things now; getting better, for me, is simply being able to talk with people without feeling anxious. I know it won't happen straightaway but maybe 'getting better' is when you feel as if one area at a time is falling into place as you said.
It's a confusing topic, makes my head hurt sometimes, but thank you for the advice

 

[Sinar_Matahari]

I haven't completely gotten over my SA, but I knew that I was getting better as soon as I could walk out of the house and walk among people without feeling anxious. It still happens every now and then depending on my mood and who is around, but it's not severe.

 

[Horatio]

I don't think you ever do 'get better'. Certainly the impression I got from my doc is that I'm stuck with this for life. The difference is how well you can manage the condition and not let it impact your life.

Every time you are able to intercept that negative thought and stop it from preventing you living a 'normal' life is a step in the right direction.

I was a wreck until the age of 23 or so and managed to break out from it, but the condition always stayed and now at 28 I'm back where I started. The techniques I used five years ago won't work again so it feels a bit like I'm a time traveller stuck in the past with a broken time machine and trying to find another way to get home.

 

[Feathers]

Horatio, sheesh!! I don't trust what doctors say!!

Have they studied nutrition and healthy lifestyle and such??
Many things are not 'officially true' and they work anyway!! Like nutrition or going for a walk every day or constructive problem solving or changing your life...

You were good/better for 5 years and you can get better again!!

Snowdrop, maybe you can think about getting 3 people you feel comfortable talking with, can be classmates/roomates/flatmates/friendly shop assistant in a particular shop...

It's highly unlikely you'd magically get okay with talking to all or any people, especially strangers.. It gets easier when you get to know people.. If someone has usually been friendly, it will probably get easier to talk to them with time.. For me, it was also always easier talking to other girls.. or if it was focus on the topic, something important to say, or in class when we 'had' to talk..

Even some 'sociable' beautiful people said they were 'shy' (with new people) and only comfortable with people they knew their whole life!! (Like from their hometown...) And usually only partied with those... That was kinda like a revelation for me, lol...

Maybe you will feel comfortable talking to one person first, then two, then three... This means you are widening your social circle and 'getting better' then!!

It's easiest to talk to people if you just give'em a random compliment on their pic or part of it in class or such (we used to walk around and look at what others drew..) then maybe if they look friendly have lunch or tea together.. the friendlier they are, the easier it is to talk to them.. though it depends what kind of art school you go to, too.. in our country some are 'snobbish' and some are more 'friendly'... if people in class are snobbish, maybe hang out with nicer people from other departments or who are studying other things.. (might be easiest at the dorm, if you live in one)