How do I show him I like him but not obvious?

[grapevine]

So my posts are a little too random/complex and long- so I will try to keep things plain and simple : )


Have had a crush on a guy at work for 5-6 months. He invited me to new years- it was just us. Bought my meal and then he drove me around and we joked. Then went back to his place, watched some films- and then slept in different places- not together. There was no romance.

Anyway- what ever he thinks of me- and there have been times when I have purely felt like he likes me and other times when I am not even in his radar. What -ever the case - I feel like my social phobia gets in the way of me being approachable and warm. I hardly ever initiate going up to him or even sitting down with him- or even talking. I need to almost have something to say about work or a prop ( like something to show him that may be funny etc) just to get near him- like I feel so afraid to show any affection to him.

I walk away from him even when I am busy- see I have read stuff about guys who like to chase- or something - and women not to show they like them.. because it puts them off.

Today I really,really wanted to thank him for new years but I freaked out and couldn't. Its like every time we are around each other working or hanging out- I completely loose my true self- like what I want to show and say and all that- I just freeze up and with sp I must seem so cold. And I feel he may be mirroring me!

I want to be able to turn this around. What I want to know is, if I actually just leap into the courage to be different towards him- if I was friendly, touched him a little - like on the arm or something to show him that I am not afraid of him getting close- would that be too much? Initiated going up to him- do you think that would put him off?

I want to do this for me. Because it bugs me.

I mean I am not expecting much- just as a friend is fine- but making these changes- is it a good move? Bty he has schizophrenia and can be completely in his own world at times.

 

[accidentprone]

Tell him?

Some of us guys can't pick up on other people's emotions too well... We'd rather you make it simple and tell us up front. You seem to want to be with him too so why constantly play a game?

Showing rather than telling can be tricky especially if you don't know whether he likes you back.

 

[Megaten]

I would think he's interested if he took you out, paid for your meal and invited you to his place. No I dont think that would be too much. Or maybe lean into him if yall are watching a movie together. He might try to put his arm around you at that point.

 

[Razzlecherry]

By being obvious.

 

[deleteduser50890]

Why do you continue to entertain a man who had made you feel like crap in the past about yourself and seems to be toying around with you.? Tbh from what ive read so far about him in the past posts it just looks he enjoys giving you the emotional run around. Plus he also seems unstable. It really seems like unrequited love here. Hanging with him will give you a high, but you'll probably never get what you actually want from him - a possible relationship. I don't see the appeal here......


And i'm sure he has figured it long ago that you like him, he probably just doesn't care.

 

[deleteduser50890]

(deleted duplicate post)

 

[Odo]

Make a t-shirt with his picture on it and wear it under another shirt that has buttons. Whenever someone with a big mouth is around, casually unbutton the top shirt and ask them a question. Make sure they see part of the t-shirt, but not the full thing.

Later, the bigmouth will spread a rumor that they thought they saw you wearing a t-shirt with the guy's picture on it, but they aren't quite sure. When it gets back to the guy, he will have to ask you about it and you'll just say 'no... hahahaha... that's crazy'.

Then go home and burn the t-shirt in a complex voodoo ritual designed to make him fall madly in love with you.

 

[Razzlecherry]

Make a t-shirt with his picture on it and wear it under another shirt that has buttons. Whenever someone with a big mouth is around, casually unbutton the top shirt and ask them a question. Make sure they see part of the t-shirt, but not the full thing.

Later, the bigmouth will spread a rumor that they thought they saw you wearing a t-shirt with the guy's picture on it, but they aren't quite sure. When it gets back to the guy, he will have to ask you about it and you'll just say 'no... hahahaha... that's crazy'.

Then go home and burn the t-shirt in a complex voodoo ritual designed to make him fall madly in love with you.

That's actually not a bad idea, I'd go with that.

 

[grapevine]

lol- yes- I think I am finally getting it!!!

I think I have needed to voodoo myself!

It just takes time I guess. I think it all goes back to my past - as I was in an emotionally abusive relationship and I think Im just trying to change my past in a way.

But I understand that I am limiting my self value by holding onto nothing like this. But I am coming to see him as a just a friend if that now - and am going to choose not to spend much time at work anymore too. Its just crushing.