How do I approach this girl?

Culture

Culture

New member
While in my 9 month (and counting) hiatus from social life, I've pretty much lost all my friends, and consequently anyone I can talk to earnestly. I've known this girl since the 7th grade, she was quiet, reserved, and had a beautiful smile. I had a crush on her until the 8th grade but I never approached her.
It wasn't until the next year that I started to talk to her, and I never realized how funny and down to earth she was. Now, she's pretty much the only person that I talk to, and I appreciate her friendship and support. Whenever she sees me at school the first thing she does is smile and open her arms for a hug. I really like her but every time I vaguely ask her about a relationship she goes to another topic. She doesn't reject me but just doesn't understand that I have feelings for her. It's not that I don't have experience with girls or having girlfriends. But as she is my most valued friend I don't want to push too hard and lose her. I'm really at loss at what to do and I'm completely torn...
 
Nanita

Nanita

Well-known member
Difficult one. I don´t know what you should do, sorry.
Have been there too. Wanting somebody so much, but afraid to push them away :(
 
Nanita

Nanita

Well-known member
I didn´t do anything, and months later we went seperate ways, changed schools. So maybe I should have done something.
 
FountainandFairfax

FountainandFairfax

in a VAN down by the RIVER
Whatever you do, don't ask her for anything more than friendship right now. The fact that she changes the subject when you bring up relationships is more than likely a big red flag, and is her way of letting you know that she's not up for anything more than that at the moment.

I'd maintain the friendship, work on myself and my social anxiety, and ask out other girls first if I could. Build up your confidence and get some more experience before risking your friendship (and maybe more) with her.
 
Newtype

Newtype

Well-known member
That's tough. I don't have any good advice to give, but one thing I can say is don't talk to her about a relationship. Let it be natural. Maybe she'd like it more if things progressed naturally towards love and a relationship. It's more romantic that way.

I wouldn't ask out other girls though. It would kinda send the message that all you want is to be in a relationship, no matter who the girl is. Don't do to someone what you wouldn't want anyone to do to you.
 
Culture

Culture

New member
Newtype said:
That's tough. I don't have any good advice to give, but one thing I can say is don't talk to her about a relationship. Let it be natural. Maybe she'd like it more if things progressed naturally towards love and a relationship. It's more romantic that way.

I wouldn't ask out other girls though. It would kinda send the message that all you want is to be in a relationship, no matter who the girl is. Don't do to someone what you wouldn't want anyone to do to you.
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thanks for the advice :)
I suppose I can stand to wait a little bit longer, but I don't wanna to let someone else to take her, I know it's selfish. (I know of at least two others who have their eye on her)
 
Newtype

Newtype

Well-known member
Culture said:
thanks for the advice :)
I suppose I can stand to wait a little bit longer, but I don't wanna to let someone else to take her, I know it's selfish. (I know of at least two others who have their eye on her)
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Yeah well I'm not saying to just wait and do nothing. Try to make her see you as a potential boyfriend instead of just a friend. Try to charm her, be cute, work your magic, I dunno, lol.
 
kihira

kihira

1
It may be that she sees you as a friend and nothing else. If so, value it, girl friends are just as nice as girlfriends :)
 
MrJones

MrJones

Well-known member
You can try and tell her about your feelings. Don't force it, just let it flow naturally. If she says yes, perfect. If she says no, you'll have the best friend to have and if you really care about her you will be very happy with her as a friend, believe me.
phocas said:
It may be that she sees you as a friend and nothing else. If so, value it, girl friends are just as nice as girlfriends :)
Click to expand...
 
Dj SL

Dj SL

Well-known member
Culture said:
While in my 9 month (and counting) hiatus from social life, I've pretty much lost all my friends, and consequently anyone I can talk to earnestly. I've known this girl since the 7th grade, she was quiet, reserved, and had a beautiful smile. I had a crush on her until the 8th grade but I never approached her.
It wasn't until the next year that I started to talk to her, and I never realized how funny and down to earth she was. Now, she's pretty much the only person that I talk to, and I appreciate her friendship and support. Whenever she sees me at school the first thing she does is smile and open her arms for a hug. I really like her but every time I vaguely ask her about a relationship she goes to another topic. She doesn't reject me but just doesn't understand that I have feelings for her. It's not that I don't have experience with girls or having girlfriends. But as she is my most valued friend I don't want to push too hard and lose her. I'm really at loss at what to do and I'm completely torn...
Click to expand...

She and you are friends. In my opinion, the first thing you have to do is tell her your feelings, so, she would know your feelings for her. Do that first bro; I'll tell you later the next step :)
 
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