thanks;-) not totally selfless...i get something out of helping him too. makes me feel like i'm accomplishing something and gives me a sense of purpose.
That's still really good. 🙂 Having purpose always helps.
I'm very tired. The next few days are going to be extremely busy, so I don't expect that to change soon. This morning, I worked one job, I'm about to leave to fill out paperwork for my new job, and then I have class. Tomorrow, I work job #1 and have orientation for job #2. Wednesday, I work job #2, have a play date at my son's school, and class (we have our second test). I felt really guilty when I left this morning, because I told my son I wouldn't see him much in the next few days, and all he wanted was 5 minutes to play video games together. I'm wondering if I bit off more than I can chew...if so, I'm quitting job #1.
A friend will be in town this week, so hopefully, I'll get to see him sometime. 🙂
Not that great. I am having issues with my job, injuries and generally feeling like a complete failure at life.
I need to vent. I feel a journal entry coming up pretty soon.
Not that great. I am having issues with my job, injuries and generally feeling like a complete failure at life.
I need to vent. I feel a journal entry coming up pretty soon.
You're welcome to vent to me whenever you need to.
1) I finally got my butt to the mall. (been dying to go for weeks now)
2) Got a $10 t-shirt, which is super cheap considering the store I was at.
3) I have a wedding to go to this Saturday, so I was mostly at the mall today to buy a dress. I picked up this strapless blue dress on a whim, just to try it on, but figuring it'd make me look even more disproportionate, so I wasn't expecting much. (and I hate dress shopping) It fit perfect, I didn't look weird but actually decent, it was a much smaller size than I thought, and it was only $4! 😮
4) Finished putting together all my mom's graduation gifts she had bought for kids we know. I don't really talk to any of them, except one. She talks to them way more than I do. I love putting together gift baskets/bags though.
5) I had an eye appointment today. I wasn't even anxious this morning, which is great because they always make me super anxious for some reason. I also had a brand new doctor test me today. I like him much better than the last two I had. He was actually nice and talked to me rather than trying to rush me through the appointment.
6) I got to walk down my favorite street today while I was there and just look in shop windows. I want to move there so, so bad.
7) I made grilled pizza, which was fantastic.
I finally stepped outside for the first time in 15 days. I went to the movies with a friend. I dont know. I feel a bit better but at the same time we probably just hung out because I was his last resort, thats usually how it goes. I mean everytime I tried to talk to him he would rip out his phone every 2 seconds and read a bunch of texts and stuff. I dont know.
I'm feeling anxious as usual. Every moment I'm sitting, standing; whatever, I feel sad and a constant need to stop and do something more important but I don't know what. This is the feelings I fight constantly lately. I just want to do something; anything, and actually enjoy it. I don't want to feel bad about. I don't want to think about how it's not gonna get me a job, or how it's just a useless activity that will do nothing for my life...I just want to enjoy things.
I'm feeling anxious as usual. Every moment I'm sitting, standing; whatever, I feel sad and a constant need to stop and do something more important but I don't know what. This is the feelings I fight constantly lately. I just want to do something; anything, and actually enjoy it. I don't want to feel bad about. I don't want to think about how it's not gonna get me a job, or how it's just a useless activity that will do nothing for my life...I just want to enjoy things.
I hope you all are doing awesomely. 🙂
Yeah I know how you feel shy. I mean look at what I said in my above post, I stepped outside for the first time in 15 days today 15 DAYS! I feel like a jobless,worthless sack of complete sh*t lately and I have the same sort of feeling:(
Yeah I know how you feel shy. I mean look at what I said in my above post, I stepped outside for the first time in 15 days today 15 DAYS! I feel like a jobless,worthless sack of complete sh*t lately and I have the same sort of feeling:(
I'm sorry you feel that way. Those are thoughts I'm familiar with myself. VERY familiar with. I've broken that record a million times, I hate to tell you, Invisible. ^.^ lol
Seriously, though. Those feelings are the worse and I hope you can find peace and not be so harsh on yourself. 🙂
I finally stepped outside for the first time in 15 days. I went to the movies with a friend. I dont know. I feel a bit better but at the same time we probably just hung out because I was his last resort, thats usually how it goes. I mean everytime I tried to talk to him he would rip out his phone every 2 seconds and read a bunch of texts and stuff. I dont know.
Oh, you should kicked him in the groin! Okay, maybe not that, but something extreme to show him that looking at his phone constantly is rude and makes you feel inferior. I know that if someone did that to me I would feel terrible, and I consciously make a habit of missing calls or not replying to texts immediately if I'm in the middle of a conversation. If there's a lull in the talking, then I might do it.
Fifteen days of not going out is quite a long time. Too long. Notice how you didn't particularly enjoy hanging out with your friend, but you still felt better just by getting out there and doing something? Try to go out semi-regularly and you would probably feel even better again.
I'm feeling anxious as usual. Every moment I'm sitting, standing; whatever, I feel sad and a constant need to stop and do something more important but I don't know what. This is the feelings I fight constantly lately. I just want to do something; anything, and actually enjoy it. I don't want to feel bad about. I don't want to think about how it's not gonna get me a job, or how it's just a useless activity that will do nothing for my life...I just want to enjoy things.
I hope you all are doing awesomely. 🙂
Why do you feel what you're doing isn't important? What could you do that makes you feel it is important? Lots of activities we do are technically "useless," but if you find enjoyment out of it, that's all that matters. 🙂
These days are the worst days in my life. I am seriously suffering in depression, self-pity this is why I'm crying all the time for a simple reason: I got no friends, I don't talk to girls, I got nobody who I could talk to, I can't go outside, all because I am just too weak. I can thank everything to myself, I am too weak now to start getting social, because I wouldn't know where to start. I can't think of any other thing than my problems.
Me & my parents are currently switching rooms bedroom, my room living room, so we are packing all day, all because of me, since I once quietly said my room is too small and theres no air in it. So my parents started to switch rooms and I know I can't dissuade them from this, because they really think I will be happy because my new place later. But I know in the same time, that I can't live with my parents forever, sooner or later I need to live on my own. This is just another thing to worry about.
I know I'm making my mom really sad and almost depressed too, because of my problems. This is why she had enough and called a psychiatrist and told her who I really am, what are my fears and everything. Now I just need to call that woman to get an appointment, she's a really known supervisor, hypnotherapist, psychotherapist.
These days are the worst days in my life. I am seriously suffering in depression, self-pity this is why I'm crying all the time for a simple reason: I got no friends, I don't talk to girls, I got nobody who I could talk to, I can't go outside, all because I am just too weak. I can thank everything to myself, I am too weak now to start getting social, because I wouldn't know where to start. I can't think of any other thing than my problems.
Me & my parents are currently switching rooms bedroom, my room living room, so we are packing all day, all because of me, since I once quietly said my room is too small and theres no air in it. So my parents started to switch rooms and I know I can't dissuade them from this, because they really think I will be happy because my new place later. But I know in the same time, that I can't live with my parents forever, sooner or later I need to live on my own. This is just another thing to worry about.
I know I'm making my mom really sad and almost depressed too, because of my problems. This is why she had enough and called a psychiatrist and told her who I really am, what are my fears and everything. Now I just need to call that woman to get an appointment, she's a really known supervisor, hypnotherapist, psychotherapist.
Forget the clutter occassionally - try to start with going outside for walks as well. Then, do it again tomorrow.
I think it's more difficult when you think about your worries in the middle of all the clutter at home.
Go. Think outside the house. Get a change of scenery.
These days are the worst days in my life. I am seriously suffering in depression, self-pity this is why I'm crying all the time for a simple reason: I got no friends, I don't talk to girls, I got nobody who I could talk to, I can't go outside, all because I am just too weak. I can thank everything to myself, I am too weak now to start getting social, because I wouldn't know where to start. I can't think of any other thing than my problems.
Me & my parents are currently switching rooms bedroom, my room living room, so we are packing all day, all because of me, since I once quietly said my room is too small and theres no air in it. So my parents started to switch rooms and I know I can't dissuade them from this, because they really think I will be happy because my new place later. But I know in the same time, that I can't live with my parents forever, sooner or later I need to live on my own. This is just another thing to worry about.
I know I'm making my mom really sad and almost depressed too, because of my problems. This is why she had enough and called a psychiatrist and told her who I really am, what are my fears and everything. Now I just need to call that woman to get an appointment, she's a really known supervisor, hypnotherapist, psychotherapist.
Hi, I hope that things get better for you. It might be and idea to make that call. The first step can be the hardest. It took me years to make a CBT appointment yet it turned out to be one of the best things that I have ever done....good luck...keep posting
Nervous as f**k! First CBT session tomorrow, and I'm dreading it. Been thinking about it much of last night. :🙁: I'm not great when it comes to first impression. Gonnae be awkward.
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