How are you feeling?

Pretty damn calm right now. Hopefully it lasts a while.

Kind of sad because I have to go out and go to work. I hope those *******s don't bug me on the bus.

I need to get out of the house, so I'm going for a drive. Then I'm going to come home and look at the wanted ads.

I didn't get any sleep last night, so I cancelled my therapist appointment. I'm mad at myself for psyching myself out yet again. I've gotta figure out this sleeping thing.

lol @vamp !

I feel really depressed right now; I went looking through the Internet asking random questions to see what responses they would get as I always do. The subject this time was about shy guys and girls and how shy guys don't get girls. The responses I saw were basically calling "us" p****ies and making me feel like less of a person. I feel bad enough as it is, so I stopped looking but it still hurts. Just because I'm shy around girls, that makes me less of a "man" and a person? I know I shouldn't give them the power to do what they're doing but I can't help it. I'm also told to think that I have qualities that make me unique from the next man and that I should think that I'm better than them, which doesn't make sense to me. I'm no different from anyone else, I don't have unique qualities and I'm no better than anyone else. Well, I'm about to go to the gym right now; it feels good to get that off of my chest and sorry about complaining:D!

Like absolute crap. Had a headache, so I took a nap to try and relieve it. I ended up sleeping about four hours, and woke up feeling terrible like I usually do after taking a nap that long. And my headache is still there. And now I feel sick :🙁:

Vamp said: ↑

Interesting...... Can you elaborate? 😛

I feel like everyone is avoiding me 🙁

Kinda pissed, but also kinda relieved. My tutor never even showed up. >.> It has practically been my worry all day. I went there, was even a few mins. late because I turned in someone's lost ID and then got lost trying to get to the right room. I finally found the room, so I go in and no one is even in there. Waited 15 mins. and still nothing, so I left.

Bleh. Wasted my time. Good thing I got more tutor schedules today. I'll have to look into those.

Tired and exhausted.

I feel as if I'm floating in a haze with no clear direction. Today I got nothing done due to my headache, and the long long nap I took left me feeling spacey and sick. I felt a depersonalized feeling for a bit as well. Still do a little.

Blahhhhhhhaghghahgaghaiugahgo

Got up early, tried to make myself look awake, now going to this day´s suffering where I´ll be surrounded by people talking and laughing and I will be quiet and nervous. Why go, why even go?! It´s useless.

It's 11:40 and my eyes feel heavy with sleep. *blink blink* That's a first... No insomnia tonight it seems! *cue the holy music*
Well, time to wrap up the day then. Goodnight everyone~ I hope you all have pleasant dreams of unicorns and butterflies and uh... whatever else makes your good little hearts happy :😛: 😀

I passed my first hurdle to apply for a bachelors degree in social work today. I just need to get past one more interview before they accept me in to the course.
I am going to cure the world of SA

Utterly Expendable.

Felt like I no longer wanted to face the world. Better now I am home.

Just had a meltdown, I couldn´t participate in anything, went to a room to talk with a therapist, I began crying, we talked for a while, he suggested I went home. I probably won´t be able to go there anymore. Now the socialworker will find something else for me to do in order to keep receiving money, I´m scared of what´s next. I feel like a prisoner of the system. Why receive money to buy food and pay rent, and be forced to do silly activities, to train myself in becoming a citizen thats able to hold a job one day. Why stay in this system? want to dissapear into a forest, but I´m not strong enough to do that.
Trapped.

I feel very bad.. I am back home and this harassment is a way beyond what I can bear. Being here is much greater trap than anyone can imagine, because all my energy and focus is going to dealing with it and not left to anything constructive. It's easy to say to stay positive in this situation and I tried, I also still had some energy and more positive outlook at the beginning when I came, thought I could change something but with time all the rests of my mental and physical energy are gone. I am now only a shattered nervous wreck barely functioning. But I have to go on despite this because otherwise I'd never be able to get out of here again.. (Where, that is the question). I think if I didn't have to experience this through most of my life, if I lived with different people who treated me well, I'd be a lot different person..

I hope it gets better Ms. Lea

As for me, I feel so tired. I guess I'll try to sleep..

BiWinning said: ↑

I hope it gets better Ms. Lea

As for me, I feel so tired. I guess I'll try to sleep..

Thanks, it will, nothing lasts forever. By the time I am 80 hopefully it will be over 🙂.