Hope you can help

OCDavid

Active member
#1
I'm not sure if I'll be able to get help on this without anyone having met me. It's about my Asperger's. I'm quiet and very poor at maintaining conversation. The problem isn't so much in thinking up ideas to talk about as keeping those conversations going. I'm kind of a conversation killer. What perplexes me is that I haven't noticed what I do wrong and hence I can't correct it. With most things I talk about I'll struggle to keep conversation going, but on some subjects I can think of a lot to say. I might have a lengthy conversation. For some reason I can occasionally think of a lot to say but I usually can't. I'm sure there are often things I could have said but I just didn't think of saying. I've had psychologists try to help but they just come up with basic conversation starters which I already know. It's a serious social problem, and if it doesn't improve would make it hard for me to get married. Most people don't want someone who is quiet as they aren't much fun to be around.
 

just_shadows

Well-known member
#2
hey :) you know - i think the best advice i can give you is just try to talk to someone that knows you have Asperger's, and can give you advice when you are doing something wrong, or can explain things you do not understand.
do you have someone you can talk to like that?
 
#3
I think when you find someone who is really into you and you know you can say whatever you want and she still thinks you are great, it might change. Have you experienced that kind of situation?
 

zharl

Well-known member
#4
I have had a couple of friends with Asperger's and they have been experts in specific subject matter. One friend was a civil war buff, the other was Old Hollywood. Does this kind of specificity in subject matter describe you at all?
 

EscapeArtist

Well-known member
#5
Hi there, I have one tip to offer. When somebody talks to you about a subject, respond in a way that eggs-on their emotional reaction to that subject. That way they will talk more. For instance, if they bring up that they have a test the next day, you can speak an emotion that you think they will be feeling about that. almost like you're in their shoes, what would you feel? "ah that sounds stressful, are you prepared?" etc. You can get them to talk more, until there is a point where you feel the motivation to talk about a subject they bring up.
 
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