Hindsight

[Whapz]

Whenever I encounter a social situation, I always look back on it and see myself as being incredibly awkward. It's almost like I start to hate myself over them. These past situations haunt me for weeks, months, even years. Is anybody else like this?

 

[sprode]

Hindsight is always 20/20, as they say.

I try not to let these thoughts get to me because I know they're inherently useless. All that exists is NOW.

...and yet still they come, inescapable, unfixable. All the way back to my childhood as well, what I would have done different, known better, changed everything.

 

[Whapz]

It's so...heavy dealing with it all the time. Whenever I talk to somebody, as I'm walking away, I just start ridiculing myself and mumbling "stupid stupid stupid." It's painful. I've never talked to anybody about this stuff before but I think I'm gonna try to meet with a counselor soon..

 

[JamesSmith]

Well yeah, we all are at least a little awkward. I'm very awkward myself. The older I've gotten, the less I care now about how awkward I am in a social situation. I guess I've had so many awkward situations socially, that it's become.....normal, lol. People on here have told me that I shouldn't tell myself I'm different, but I highly advise that you tell yourself you are different and accept it. The fact that I have accepted that I'm different has helped me with eliminating worrying considerably. In the past, I used to be constantly worried that I wasn't a "normal socializer." Now, this huge load of pressure has been taken off my shoulders just by accepting that I'm different and will do different things at times socially. I'm just more comfortable with who I am. So in conclusion, be yourself, even if it's weird to other people. It's okay to be different. I've never seen a law that says we can't be shy. The most important thing is that you are comfortable. You can't be comfortable if you are constantly trying to be something you aren't, and then worrying about it afterward.

 

[conscious_mindz]

I am having a terrible time with "hindsight myself also.. i go over things from childhood, maybe i should have pushed myself more, maybe when i left school i should have went straight to college.. if i saw a therapist at 16yo maybe i wouldnt be in this mess at 31yo. i think of past girlfriends that left me & blame myself for being too boring, not light hearted enough.. but the S.A gets me literally picking faults in EVERYTHING i do & have previously done.. my parents say i must stop going over the past thinking i shoulda, woulda, coulda.. but its so hard when with age you can see the mistakes of the past yet you cannot go back in time to fix them, i do genuinley wish i got therapy, or pushed myself with SA when youth was on my side & my mind wasnt so beat up by depression & S.A .. but we can only look foward but its easier said than done

 

[Phoenixx]

Whenever I encounter a social situation, I always look back on it and see myself as being incredibly awkward. It's almost like I start to hate myself over them. These past situations haunt me for weeks, months, even years. Is anybody else like this?

^ I'm constantly like this. I always reminisce about what I said, how stupid I sounded, etc. There are even conversations that happened years ago that I still worry about.