selon
Well-known member
I'm new here and I don't really know what to say or rather where to begin. But I've been following this website for a few weeks now and it makes me feel good to see that I'm not the only one struggeling.
I'm doing my masters right now and I feel like I'm going to fail. I have this huge presentation on Tuesday and instead of preparing I've used the last few weeks to watch tv shows. Instead of really really working hard this weekend I did other stuff. Not really stuff that Im good at or that I enjoy- for me it's really all about wasting my time.
Im in my midtwenties and never had a boyfriend. I'd found the love of my life and I know that it was mutual, but he lives in another country. We've tried to come together twice but it didn't happen. The second time was really bad: I was supposed to go visit, even had a ticket and then he blew me off. Found a girlfriend. The worst part is that I was relieved. I mean I was sad and embarrased and I didn't find someone to help me get this stupid guy out of my head but at the same time I was happy that I didnt have to see him or rather that he did not have to see my body (I don't exactly feel good in my skin).
My family is a catastrophe. My parents are really really sad people, they've never been happy together. They don't know how to deal with issues. Instead of problem-solving, my family goes for the path of least resistence- depression, fear, anger and sadness. My sister used to beat me up as a kid, the last time when I was 18. It wasn't really painful or brutal, but I never learned how to stand up for myself. I always dream I had a different family or a different upbringing. One where happiness and the pursuit of happiness mattered if you know what I mean.
On a final note, I still seem like a happy person (or so people say) and I think I am somehow. I kind of detached my overall unhappiness, sadness and dissatisfaction from my day-to-day life. Is that normal?
This introduction is longer than anticipated, truth be told, I don't really talk with anyone about my issues, always just about the unimportant stuff so this is quite new for me.
I'm doing my masters right now and I feel like I'm going to fail. I have this huge presentation on Tuesday and instead of preparing I've used the last few weeks to watch tv shows. Instead of really really working hard this weekend I did other stuff. Not really stuff that Im good at or that I enjoy- for me it's really all about wasting my time.
Im in my midtwenties and never had a boyfriend. I'd found the love of my life and I know that it was mutual, but he lives in another country. We've tried to come together twice but it didn't happen. The second time was really bad: I was supposed to go visit, even had a ticket and then he blew me off. Found a girlfriend. The worst part is that I was relieved. I mean I was sad and embarrased and I didn't find someone to help me get this stupid guy out of my head but at the same time I was happy that I didnt have to see him or rather that he did not have to see my body (I don't exactly feel good in my skin).
My family is a catastrophe. My parents are really really sad people, they've never been happy together. They don't know how to deal with issues. Instead of problem-solving, my family goes for the path of least resistence- depression, fear, anger and sadness. My sister used to beat me up as a kid, the last time when I was 18. It wasn't really painful or brutal, but I never learned how to stand up for myself. I always dream I had a different family or a different upbringing. One where happiness and the pursuit of happiness mattered if you know what I mean.
On a final note, I still seem like a happy person (or so people say) and I think I am somehow. I kind of detached my overall unhappiness, sadness and dissatisfaction from my day-to-day life. Is that normal?
This introduction is longer than anticipated, truth be told, I don't really talk with anyone about my issues, always just about the unimportant stuff so this is quite new for me.
welcome to the site.
