Help

[Marc7]

I realized recently that I get a lot of help but I don't try to help myself :kickingmyself:. Maybe it is my low motivation or the more anxiety I will invite into my life if I help myself. Or it is that my life will totally change and I'm scared of the unknown. Any advice?

 

[theslowesthand]

Here, take this, help yourself.
(sorry, it's all i can think of at the moment)

 

[Sacrament]

Anxiety of change is very real, too. What changes are you most afraid of?

 

[theslowesthand]

Got something.
I'm extremely risk-averse & extremely change-averse. So i'm scared of change.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I realized recently that I get a lot of help but I don't try to help myself :kickingmyself:. Maybe it is my low motivation or the more anxiety I will invite into my life if I help myself. Or it is that my life will totally change and I'm scared of the unknown. Any advice?

If you don't weather the symptoms of anxiety and just plow through in order to get things done then you just rot. When you rot, things get worse. That itself is a change. Life is never static either way. You may as well attempt to change yours for the better.

What changes are you most afraid of?

Diaper changes.

 

[Sacrament]

That's the worst type of change. Also, couch cushion change!

 

[grapevine]

When you have social phobia, its a 'phobia' and its like having a phobia of food- the world is full of food lol. Same as the world is full of people and social interactions. There's always this anxiety and having the energy to push ourselves thru it is tough. It makes it harder to do things even on a subconscious level because we see a block, like a big wall full of things that we just cant get through. So we go the other way in our minds and our life and can live safely and small yet low in self-esteem. Well, at least that is what I have thought for myself.

 

[Marc7]

Here, take this, help yourself.
(sorry, it's all i can think of at the moment)

Haha. I wish it was that easy.

Got something.
I'm extremely risk-averse & extremely change-averse. So i'm scared of change.

Me too but I know I can't be this way my whole life. That's why I have to help myself.

 

[Marc7]

Anxiety of change is very real, too. What changes are you most afraid of?

The changes are that I will have to be more social, interact with more people, be around more people, face the world more, have more anxiety, change my voice, talk louder, might or might not have to keep up with the news, face my fears, change my life, and do things I never did before.

 

[Marc7]

If you don't weather the symptoms of anxiety and just plow through in order to get things done then you just rot. When you rot, things get worse. That itself is a change. Life is never static either way. You may as well attempt to change yours for the better.

But how do I get over the fear of my life changing and actually helping myself (when I'm anxious and not motivated)?

Diaper changes.

Haha.

 

[Marc7]

When you have social phobia, its a 'phobia' and its like having a phobia of food- the world is full of food lol. Same as the world is full of people and social interactions. There's always this anxiety and having the energy to push ourselves thru it is tough. It makes it harder to do things even on a subconscious level because we see a block, like a big wall full of things that we just cant get through. So we go the other way in our minds and our life and can live safely and small yet low in self-esteem. Well, at least that is what I have thought for myself.

That's true. So your life is low in self esteem? I'm confused.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

But how do I get over the fear of my life changing and actually helping myself (when I'm anxious and not motivated)?

You don't get over it. The fear isn't going to just go away on its own. You do things in spite of the fear. The fear may make you shake, it may make your voice quiver and your heart pound. You keep going and do what you need to do in spite of that. It isn't easy but it is possible.

 

[lily]

Once you have done something you can post in the 'A life well lived.. ' thread :bigsmile:

 

[Marc7]

You don't get over it. The fear isn't going to just go away on its own. You do things in spite of the fear. The fear may make you shake, it may make your voice quiver and your heart pound. You keep going and do what you need to do in spite of that. It isn't easy but it is possible.

Thank you, but I can't even push myself to do things I'm scared to do plus it is coupled with perfectionism. So it is exposure therapy right?

 

[Marc7]

Once you have done something you can post in the 'A life well lived.. ' thread :bigsmile:

You mean help myself right?