Help with women.

[TheEvilsocky]

I'm 22 years old and I've never even held a girls hand before, One of the main reasons (besides detesting most human interactions) is that I'm a metalhead in middle Tennessee and the fact that I don't wear cowboy boots, dip skoal or drink every waking second immediately send the girls here running (much less my preference for leather/spiked clothing).
The fact is though even if I do find a girl who'll appreciate a good Opeth or Meshuggah album, I have no idea how I'm gonna explain or work around the fact that my knowledge of a relationship begins and ends with where I'm gonna put guitar leads in a song (and I only had that conversation once with a drummer who left to pursue work in a country band) Or anything whatsoever about a womans body in general, I mean most girls my age have two or three kids!
I'm just at a total loss, I've got two giant blockades in front of me, the first where am I gonna find a girl that has the same interest in music as me? people say its not that important but my music is MY LIFE if I cant share that there's no point in having a relationship in the first place, the second, My ten year old cousin knows more about mental AND physical relationships than I do.

I feel totally helpless no one I know has any idea what I could do, aside from the "try this online service" stuff and none of those work for me, even my friend (who's also socialphobic) has had four girlfriends before, they just asked him! please help, even words of encouragement would at least make me feel better.

 

[WeirdyMcGee]

Well... if no one where you live interests you I'd imagine it would feel really difficult to try and pursue a relationship with anyone.
Sounds to me like maybe you should start thinking about relocating.
Become a smaller fish in a much bigger pond.
Chances are-- if you were to actually be face to face with someone who interested you off the bat, you could feel natural in having a physical relationship with them. Hand holding, kissing and whatever comes next.

Just a suggestion...
I'm not sure of your job situation or anything like that but- if you don't like where you live, you might like it somewhere else and it may be a chance worth taking at your age.

 

[NathanielWingatePeaslee]

I'm 22 years old and I've never even held a girls hand before, One of the main reasons (besides detesting most human interactions) is that I'm a metalhead in middle Tennessee and the fact that I don't wear cowboy boots, dip skoal or drink every waking second immediately send the girls here running (much less my preference for leather/spiked clothing).
The fact is though even if I do find a girl who'll appreciate a good Opeth or Meshuggah album, I have no idea how I'm gonna explain or work around the fact that my knowledge of a relationship begins and ends with where I'm gonna put guitar leads in a song (and I only had that conversation once with a drummer who left to pursue work in a country band) Or anything whatsoever about a womans body in general, I mean most girls my age have two or three kids!
I'm just at a total loss, I've got two giant blockades in front of me, the first where am I gonna find a girl that has the same interest in music as me? people say its not that important but my music is MY LIFE if I cant share that there's no point in having a relationship in the first place, the second, My ten year old cousin knows more about mental AND physical relationships than I do.

I feel totally helpless no one I know has any idea what I could do, aside from the "try this online service" stuff and none of those work for me, even my friend (who's also socialphobic) has had four girlfriends before, they just asked him! please help, even words of encouragement would at least make me feel better.

Well, you can't hit it off with a girl if you never spend time with girls. Requiring a girl to like the same music will make it more difficult but still not impossible.

If you detest most interactions, it sounds like you're staying in your room a lot. Dating services aren't the only place online you could meet women. Do you post on any metal forums? Where did your friend meet his girlfriends? Do you spend time anywhere with him where there are women?

 

[doubleM]

I'm 22 years old and I've never even held a girls hand before, One of the main reasons (besides detesting most human interactions) is that I'm a metalhead in middle Tennessee and the fact that I don't wear cowboy boots, dip skoal or drink every waking second

i know how you feel. i love many genres of music except for country. most of the girls here in the south love country and cowboy wannabe types. im not really that type. ive met some girls that like the metal scene. i dont think musical tastes should matter that much anyway.
dont mess with online dating. its a total waste of time for lots of reasons.

 

[pebblesdundee]

i know how you feel. i love many genres of music except for country. most of the girls here in the south love country and cowboy wannabe types. im not really that type. ive met some girls that like the metal scene. i dont think musical tastes should matter that much anyway.
dont mess with online dating. its a total waste of time for lots of reasons.

In your opinion

 

[coyote]

change the things you CAN change

it doesn't sound like you can change your environment

so.... you might fit in better somewhere else

it's a big country

there's lots of other places to live

 

[userremoved]

even my friend (who's also socialphobic) has had four girlfriends before, they just asked him! please help, even words of encouragement would at least make me feel better.

Is your friend rich?

 

[doubleM]

In your opinion

well yes from experience. ive done it for about 8 years and nothing good ever came of it. im not trying to generalize or sound like a jerk, but those kinds of sites are filled with women who are extremely shallow, gold diggers, and divorced hurting single moms. (before you think im generalizing, there are also a lot of guys on there just trying to get laid.)
i actually got a few dates. but when i met them it was like they didnt want anything to do with me. i was nice to them.
i got ignored 99% of the time when i sent mail, which i did so in a polite manner. in that situation you are being judged by your appearance and text on a screen. maybe it works for guys like you, but not for me.
ive actually talked to nicer girls on this site.

 

[userremoved]

^I didn't have that great of experience on an online site too. I only tried one though. I kept getting contacted by people that didn't speak English for some reason. Worse part was I paid for it lol.