Help with a Crush, What to do?

[ScaredToBreathe]

So I've recently gotten out of a complicated relationship. I'm not one for dating or romance and I never act on crushes I have, but this time I want to pursue a crush. I feel it would be a new start for me and help me to get over my last relationship for good. Lots of guys show interest in me, but I always turn them down (not really because of SA, just because I'm not interested) but I'm kind of lonely and I'd like to start dating again.
Anyways, there's this guy that I can't recall meeting, but I have him as a friend online. We've never talked or hung out or anything, but looking at his profile he is very attractive, has a lot of similar interests to me, around the same age, and even seems like he might be a bit timid (which is good because it's not as intimidating as other guys, having SA I actually find shy guys really cute :$)
I need your help! Please give me some advice, I'm so bad at these kind of things because of SA.
1. How should I strike up a conversation with him (online) without it being weird or creepy?
2. When and how should I ask him to hang out? I want to get to know him and if we both end up liking each other then maybe go on a few dates to see how well things work between us. Ideas? Also, would asking someone you just met out to the movies be weird or seem too much like a date rather than just something fun to do to pass time? (how would you react?)
3. What are some places we could go or fun things we could do when we hang out? (In Canada so it's pretty cold outside, but no snow yet. and nothing that involves going for coffee or food because eating around others makes me more anxious!)
4. Talking! I'm good at this at first, asking about his interests, goals, school/work, likes/dislikes, hobbies, future plans, etc... but after all the basics of getting to know about him and his personality I run out of things to talk about or ask, what should I say, fun topics or questions to keep him interested? Conversation tips and ideas? Pleeease help, I can never seem to avoid awkward silences!
5. Jokes and icebreakers. I suck at this. I'm good at being friendly and flirty though, but can't tell jokes or make myself look stupid and just goof off. Any tips on this? I'd love to act silly without the terrible anxiety that comes with it. what are some good icebreakers and things to lighten the mood?

Anything else, just mention it! I'm trying so hard to get over my SA and I think I really might like this guy, which is rare for me because I usually just push people away or am not interested in them at all. Thanks everyone

 

[MNM322]

Well start with "Hello, how are you today?" or something generic and go from there. Everything else will come naturally, if its meant to.

Just talk to him about places/things he enjoys doing and when you are ready to hang out, suggest one of those ideas. Good luck

 

[surewhynot]

Be yourself

 

[Section_31]

I agree MNM. To add to it, i also think you should initiate the talking online without worrying immediately per se about the other factors. Spend a good few weeks just chatting online. see if you two connect that way. If you do, then you can start to think about proceeding further .

 

[OCDd]

im not good at dating, actually i dont know since ive never done it but ill offer you the advice i have and thats what sonic said, be yourself. dont pretend to be someone your not, what if he did and you were wanting to date him only to find out he was just pretending to be that person. just be yourself, strike up a conversation however you please, if you do what you would normally would, you wont feel embarrassed, if he likes the way you are normally, you can be completely normal with each other. if you get to know him, and make yourself the way he wants you and he likes you because of that, then you will not feel yourself around him. hope this helps, good luck!

 

[truffleshuffle]

Well start with "Hello, how are you today?" or something generic and go from there. Everything else will come naturally, if its meant to.

Just talk to him about places/things he enjoys doing and when you are ready to hang out, suggest one of those ideas. Good luck

Great advice. Just like m said. It all starts with hello

 

[ScaredToBreathe]

Be yourself

that's the hard part. when I am myself people usually like me right away, and I usually have a positive and outgoing personality. But that's where the SA comes into play, as well as selective mutism (physically can't speak/going mute even when I try to say something), it just makes me very quiet and anxious or completely mute at moments so I'm unable to say what I want and be myself.

Only time when I can be myself is when I'm by myself, or with my best friend (she's the only person I get confident around and don't care about what I say or do when she's there) but she can't always be with me, and besides she lives in a different town so it's hard to see each other often.