Help needed

[simpsons2007]

I'm sorry its a bit of a long one....

I was an alcoholic for 10yrs struggled with deep depression for at least 20yrs. I first started drinking every night at 17 because depression had got to much to cope with and I had no one to turn to when I needed help. Drink was the only thing that was there when I needed someone. I finally decided to force myself to stop drinking when I was 27. I did it all by myself as I was to ashamed to admit to family that I had a problem and my SA also stopped me from asking doctor for help. It took me nearly 1yr to do and it was hell but I managed to do it.

The reason why I decided to stop was for my daughter. I also hated myself because I was a drunk just like my dad was (who walked out on my mum and my 2 sis when I was 5). Which was something I told myself that I wouldn't do if I ever had kids. How wrong was I???

I've not had a drink in 3yrs and I'm now finding it a real struggling to fight away the need to start drinking again. I've had the need to drink before but managed to control it, but this time is different the need is so strong just like when I was drinking before. I have very little fight left in me. The reason is my home life has hit rock bottom and I just don't care anymore. My gf of 12yrs we live together and she is the mother of our daughter. I found out about 3months ago that she was going off and sleeping with someone else while I looked after our daughter. I'm not sure how long it was going on before I found out. I only found out because I caught them together coming out of her friends house hugging and snogging him and over heard her on the phone talking to him about their night of sex. When I found out I never got angry, upset, cried or argued with my her (which I know ain't normal). It just sent me into an even deeper depression than I was in before.

What makes this even worse is I'm still stuck living in the same house as her. Neither of us have any money or anywhere else to go. Thats the part that I'm finding really hard to cope with is being in the same house as her and knowing that every time she goes shes going to see him. I think if we wasn't living together I would find it easier to cope better.

What I need is some advice from someone who had a drink problem and now doesn't or from anyone else who might have any ideas on how to cope.

I want to know is what do you do to stop yourself from picking up that bottle when life gets too depressing and you ain't got nowhere else to turn. Or how do you stop those thoughts coming in telling you that you need a drink, I was the only one there for you when you needed me and its the only way to make everything OK. Or how do you stop the need for a drink?

Sorry if it doesn't make much sense I'm not very good at sharing my feelings and thoughts. I've always found it essayer to bottle it all up.

 

[amnesiacinsomniac]

The hardest part is over, You OVERCAME
alcoholism. CONGRATULATIONS! That is a very very very hard thing to do!
When crisis comes into our lives... we want to grab the first thing that we think will comfort us, lots of emotions going on, trust me I'm in that boat. And with having no money to leave at the moment I'm sure it's hell on you. I'm sure it hurts, and it seems like nothing even matters, and that you have hit rock bottom. But do you know one GREAT thing in your life? You have a daughter!
If there's one single reason not to pick that bottle up... it's her. You don't want her to have the same father you did. And you have the power to change it.
Even though life is hell right now, scrape yourself off of the floor, and make a plan. Obviously, you need out, staying in the same place as your ex gf is only going to be toxic. This is where you need to be strong... and it's not going to be easy. Until you can get out of where you are spend as much time AWAY from her and as much time as you can spending time with your daughter. If she means anything to you... you won't even THINK about touching that bottle.

 

[Tuco]

I completely agree with amnesiacinsomniac, your daughter must be your priority, your reason to live, always think about her when you think about drinking again. Also, I think you are very brave for having managed to stop drinking all by yourself.

 

[Darryl]

Don't lower yourself to her level...

Your story is inspirational to go against all odds to turn your life around and become a man with a sense of pride- not only for your family but for YOURSELF!

This inner-strenght has made you a person who is always striving for improvement-
You can't just give up the bottle- it is a conscience decision that you make everyday.

You are the responsible one in your family- and one day when your not ready for it, your daughter will thank you.

This is when you stand up again.
This new challenge isn't about what you girlfriend has done, but how you steady your mind and look after your daughter, while continuing to grow when others would give up.

ps.. this will drive your girlfriend mad- by going from strength to strenght
She will try to undo you, so she has a valid reason an excuse for her unacceptable behaviour.

Darryl