Heartbroken, nobody seems to love me..

[Windnine]

I can't seem to keep people interested in being friends with me. I am a very loving person and I never start drama, but for some odd reason most people I know are very cruel to me. Even my own family treats me like I owe them something and always force to do stuff for them. My mom talks down to me, my sister, and when I get upset I get blamed. My peers are often very indifferent towards me. I can sense that some do not like me, but they give it away by body language. Other times, I will meet somebody and we will message each other for a while, but then they just stop replying. It is awfully depressing. I only have two close friends, but they consider each other sisters. I am african american living in a small, predominantly white town. I wonder at times if this is the problem, but I have lived here most of my life so I figured it'd be obvious by now. I wish that I knew why people are so turned off by me yet everybody else is so much better. I'm about to go out of my mind from this constant heartache I feel. For Pete's sake- I can not even go to church without being an outcast.I'm so damn tired of this...

 

[KiaKaha]

I can relate. I feel like I get rejected often too and I can't figure it out either - although I have suspicions and conclusions as to why - I just cannot be certain.
I guess it is really hard to give explanations as to why some people would behave this way toward you without really experiencing exactly what it is like to be you and to be in situations that you live in from day to day. All I can say is that I know how it feels to have everyone feel like they don't like you - or rather, dismiss you as unimportant and unworthwhile. Mmm...heartache....like an underlying nagging feeling of despair? Never fully coming to the surface completely but a constant awareness of latent rejection? I wish I could give you some answers. I think race always has something to do with how people treat you - whether you are white or black - there is a cultural conditioning that all of us are victims of. I wish I could help you find acceptance where you are.

 

[laure15]

I can relate too. I've been the social outcast almost all my life. Everywhere I go. But I think it has more to do with the fact that I have horrid social skills, avpd, and maybe autism.

 

[Nathália]

I'm sorry you're going through this right now. You are so not alone and feeling alone and like no one doesn't give a crap about you. All I can say is keep holding on and and try not hold things inside.