Have you told your wife/husband/partner about your anxiety?

[SilentAndShy]

So I've been married over eight months.

I'm not at the minute residing with my wife as she lives abroad and I'm hoping to have here in the UK with me soon.

In recent email exchanges, I hinted that there was more to me. I had feelings and emotions that no-one else knows.

I do want to, at some point, explain my anxiety and fears to her so she understands when she comes here why for example, I'm scared of driving and going out and about. My lack of interaction with family and relatives amongst other things.

Has anyone discussed their anxiety to their partners?

 

[PugofCrydee]

I'm not one to judge and I'm certainly not judging you or your choices. But I think before you marry someone you should get to know them much better.

That includes all their fears and insecurities, their good points and bad. It takes time to get to know someone.

One of the most important things in a successful relationship is trust. Trust is earned by being open and honest. I believe as hard as it may or may not be, you need to tell your prospective partner/spouse about any issues that may affect the relationship. SA will definitely affect it in some way.

I believe you owe your partner honesty. Be open and honest with her/him. They will more than likely appreciate it.
Good luck.

 

[Sial Axetder]

Hey, married for almost a year. It will be on December / 4. As it turned out she also suffers from her own troubles with anxiety.

You have to talk to your partner. It doesn't have to be all at once, either. If it is bugging you about your anxieties let your partner know you've got some anxieties that you're working on. Anxieties that can get the better of you sometimes.

Sometimes people like helping each other. You partner married you, so that's got to count for something, right? I bet she'll try and help you as best she can.

 

[nodejesque]

I think that it can be especially difficult to be completely open to those closest to us. Especially those we love, because of fear and feelings of inadequacy.

I agree with Sial, just take it one day at a time... I think that once you both get in a routine and you get comfortable, it'll be easier.

More than likely, she has anxieties and concerns as well. Especially if your marriage requires a move.

Don't feel pressure to bare your soul right away. I personally always find it difficult to adequately express my anxieties, fears and feelings.... Only because I myself cannot fully comprehend the complexities of my mind. Especially when I'm freaking out for no logical reason.

There was something that pulled you both together... Build on that. And hopefully soon, you will see that she understands... Even when there was no explanation given. Just as I am sure you will learn to read her and support her.... Even when no words and conversation are involved.

 

[MollyBeGood]

I absolutely am honest with anyone I want to be involved with right away about my different way of dealing with the world. It is a very important part of me, take it or leave it. I use this as a Litmus Test to weed out people who I have no business being involved with. You don't like that about me then we have no business being together let alone, *Gulp* married.
I refuse to keep up a false front just so someone will like me then maybe love me after they find out about how I am, which I am not ashamed of being different.

Didn't I already write a post on this thread...maybe it was deleted?

Wow good luck though, hopefully when you feel safe being who you truly are she will still love you. I would never take that gamble with my heart personally...people generally will always let ya down.

 

[NamiraWilhelm]

Was it some sort of whirlwind romance? I can't believe you managed to keep it hidden!? I feel like people are pretty good at sniffing out my crazy...

 

[SilentAndShy]

Was it some sort of whirlwind romance? I can't believe you managed to keep it hidden!? I feel like people are pretty good at sniffing out my crazy...

Not really. It was an arranged marriage so guess either I'm hiding it well or she's not as inquisitive or aware of how I behave.

 

[Requiescat]

I'm not one to judge and I'm certainly not judging you or your choices. But I think before you marry someone you should get to know them much better.

That includes all their fears and insecurities, their good points and bad. It takes time to get to know someone.

One of the most important things in a successful relationship is trust. Trust is earned by being open and honest. I believe as hard as it may or may not be, you need to tell your prospective partner/spouse about any issues that may affect the relationship. SA will definitely affect it in some way.

I believe you owe your partner honesty. Be open and honest with her/him. They will more than likely appreciate it.
Good luck.

I second this. Granted I have never been married, but not explaining my situation in the past made my relationships far worse. Trying to lead a double life was taxing to say the least, I couldn't imagine that in a marriage.