Happy to be Unhappy?

[Psychedelicious]

Why are some people enjoying being in pain? Well I don't know if I mean enjoying it, but it's like they embrace it. Like they ask for help, but when it's offered they won't accept it and just keep complaining and create more problems. When you are destined to be miserable for ever because you are making yourself that way, and are happy to be unhappy, then why ask for help? To make others miserable too? Complaining is alright if you don't overuse it, but if you just keep whining and whining and whining and never want to change, and always get mad at everyone else for it, then it's like you're screwed.

I know someone like this, and it can be really annoying. I bet there are a few people like that on here. I can sort of understand it to some degree, but not really. Sometimes I'm happy to be miserable, and to have the attention that follows it, but usually it just sucks. I don't really know why I made this I just wanted to make a new thread.

 

[no12]

I have been accused of being this way. I can tell you I am not happy, regardless of what anyone says. maybe they have a mental disease? maybe they think they cannot do the things you tell them? maybe they complain because they just want to find something new that will help them and they think the past advice wasn't enough?

I dont know. but I am sick of hearing this all the time, coming from people I care about. and then they turn against me.

it makes me feel unreal like.. nobody understands perhaps because I am unreal.

you just don't understand it. people who are really ill may feel this way.

there gets to a point that maybe they think they will forever be this way because nothing has helped. the pain is nagging at them and they impulsively feel like doing things that some people don't like.. even though they may know it.

I can't believe though that nobody else feels this way. Yea there are some that may be worse off than me in doing what you've described. Maybe they just SEEM to be happy but they're not. why would anyone who is truly human like to be this way? I don't know. If I am the same way, I dont know why I do it, and I certainly do wish I did not come off that way, nor would I even want to be that way.

maybe it is psychosis or neurosis.

I just don't fucking know. But I'm just sick of it and it makes me feel like everyone is against me and doesn't understand why I feel the way I do.

 

[Ubersonic]

Self-pity can become a comfort zone.

 

[Psychedelicious]

I think I probably didn't say it right or something, but I don't think that's what I meant. I don't think you're like that. It's not because they don't think they can do it, it's because they don't want to, and they just want to be in pain. Some people like the attention and love that being in pain brings to them, and I don't think that is what someone like you or me wants. I meant more like people who just always akways say what is wrong with them. Or people who even make up stuff that isn't true just for attention. I know what I mean, I just don't really know how to word it right, sorry. I just wanted to take a break from the whorey whore threads.

 

[no12]

well about the comfort zone thing.

All of us, when we have problems.. we have to cope. We have to find comfort amidst our problems. It's a normal human reaction. Do you want us to feel unbearable pain such that we cannot even get out of our problem? Perhaps that is why we create comfort inside our "problems" so that we can move up, otherwise we would feel so totally hopeless that we would give up and just kill ourselves.

It's like... having a problem and having the courage to stand up from it.

All I know is... it's fucked up. I KNOW i dont mean to be thsi way if I am. and it seems I am the ONLY FUCKING ONE.

and EVERYONE likes to hate people who are the same.

edit: ok psychedelicious I see what you mean. but still I have come across people who accuse me of being masochist, a lot.

and perhaps, to create comfort amidst problems is to be a little masochist. I dont know. I have lost a friend who thinks I was always too negative and he accused me of liking negativity.

I also feel pretty much everyone might think this way, or everyone has.

I'm sorry.

there has to be a scientific reason for this.

peace

edit: I think thjis may be related to my last post about people telling me what to do but I feel like I can't or I just dont do it, even though I want to.


I understand people can get fed up, because they feel as if they're trying their damned hardest to help, but it just doesn't do anything. and then they think the person they're trying to help is just being selfish and pulling their leg, as if help is not appreciated, because I may not try the things they tell me to do. they accuse me of not wanting to help myself!

I dont mean to spam your thraed and just ramble on like a maniac (as I so often do).

I'm sorry. (I know redundant it may seem)

 

[madmike]

Anyone who is really, truly in pain knows how much it sucks and would give ANYTHING to change it. Some people literally just can't. I'm not saying i'm one of them, but i feel that some people posting on this site unfortunately don't have it in them to ever really change and be happy. But i'm sure that they DO NOT enjoy where they are...

 

[Danfalc]

I think i know what you mean Psychedelicious? You have people,who have to be the centre of attenion..there is always somthing wrong with them..they could win the lottery and never be hapy.If youve had 5 stiches they have had 10 sorta thing?Sad thing is some of these people have lives that we would dream of having and yet there still not happy.They love to shit stir and make a mountain out of a mole hill.

I dunno.. ive met a few people like this and they all had a really shitty childhood,i,they love to cause drama and be the centre of it.It is kinda messed up..But i think people like that have issues too...maybe they really insecure aswell..and thats there way of trying to i dunno.. get the attenion they want.

Hope were on about the same thing cos if were not that was a long rant for nothing hehe :lol:

 

[Psychedelicious]

I think i know what you mean Psychedelicious? You have people,who have to be the centre of attenion..there is always somthing wrong with them..they could win the lottery and never be hapy.If youve had 5 stiches they have had 10 sorta thing?Sad thing is some of these people have lives that we would dream of having and yet there still not happy.They love to shit stir and make a mountain out of a mole hill.

I dunno.. ive met a few people like this and they all had a really shitty childhood,i,they love to cause drama and be the centre of it.It is kinda messed up..But i think people like that have issues too...maybe they really insecure aswell..and thats there way of trying to i dunno.. get the attenion they want.

Hope were on about the same thing cos if were not that was a long rant for nothing hehe :lol:

yeah ! I think you know what I mean. Oh my god this is so confusing. I didn't people in so much pain that they don't know how to change, because that's just feeling helpless. That's quite a bit different, and that sucks, because they truely want to change. Yeah, it's like no matter what has happened to anyone else, it's always always worse for them, and always about them. And don't get me wrong, I LOVE being the center of attention, but not for that reason.

Yeah, I think they are but maybe it's a way of dealing with it? I don't know. It can be really frustrating though because they will often tune out everyone else and just keep going on and on about what is all wrong. Again, a lot different from someone who really is in a lot of pain and who doesn't enjoy it. Some people can't live without chaos, because it's what they need to feel safe and have to helped with all the time. I don't even know if that makes sense.

 

[ljwwriter]

I think for some people misery is what gives them an identity when they feel they don't have one. There's also that attention that we sometimes get when we're down and depressed that we wouldn't necessarily get if we were going on with our lives like normal, emotionally balanced people. Notice that I didn't say "normal, happy people" as I don't really believe that people who function without phobias or anxieties are necessarily happy.

I think some of us realize, deep down, that if we were to mask our depression and unhappiness with the facade of a healthy, functioning, even smiling human being, people would let us alone. And I don't think some people could take being any more alone than they already are. Sometimes even the company of a nosy therapist, or intrusive family members is better than no company or attention at all.

That is not to say that it's rational to wallow in our own self pity, however. But honestly, how many of us even have a clue about how to get out of our own way? Unhappiness and displeasure can be addicting, and the sentiment that we should just get over ourselves and move on can be as offensive to our senses as the suggestion of a rehabilitation clinic to an alcoholic.

 

[DavidJonas]

I think i know what you mean Psychedelicious? You have people,who have to be the centre of attenion..there is always somthing wrong with them..they could win the lottery and never be hapy.If youve had 5 stiches they have had 10 sorta thing?Sad thing is some of these people have lives that we would dream of having and yet there still not happy.They love to shit stir and make a mountain out of a mole hill.

I dunno.. ive met a few people like this and they all had a really shitty childhood,i,they love to cause drama and be the centre of it.It is kinda messed up..But i think people like that have issues too...maybe they really insecure aswell..and thats there way of trying to i dunno.. get the attenion they want.

Hope were on about the same thing cos if were not that was a long rant for nothing hehe :lol:

Danfalc, the kind of personality you're describing sounds like a personality disorder I've heard of. I can't remember which one though. Anyway I think it's entirely different from what some of the others on this thread are talking about.

I think what you others are discussing is what it is to just be depressive about how your life has turned out, and you've all made some strong points about it. People who ramble on about how useless and worthless they are, and seem utterly convinced that they are just that, and are not just doing it for the pity and attention it brings, have often gone on so long with a depressive state of mind, and maybe bad things have happened to them, and they've eventually become convinced that they can't change their life for the better, that they're actually doomed to be miserable.
I think it's important that the people who are trying to help a depressive person recognize that there is only so much they can do. You can support a depressed person in many ways but often I think it's not possible to be a therapist to a friend, you may need someone from the outside, a proffessional therapist. And I don't think you have to be clinically depressed to be very miserable, for some people it's just like they have a constant mild depression that goes on for years, whereas the clinically depressed often move towards suicide because their depression is just so intensely painful. I don't know if I contributed anything useful to this thread, but I hope so.

 

[no1]

u know.. the thing is.. I guess people who hear of the law of attraction so much that they tend to think that people with problems just created their problems with their own thoughts and nothing else. and if they expect you to know in advance exactly which thoughts equate to problems, they pretty much equate it as me wanting to create problems, because Im the one who chooses to be negative and such. but it's been hard to control my thoughts so much so....

 

[Danfalc]

yeah ! I think you know what I mean.

If i wasnt confused before i am now hehe Naw just playing i totaly get where your coming from i think.You made perfect sence when you said about people and how they cant live without or thrive off chaos or drama ect.Thats a really good way of wording it.

And DavidJonas...I agree about the personality disorder thing When i was younger i used to think some people were just bad people because thats the way they were,but i really think these days if someone is nasty..has anger problems or whatever it happens to be,theres a reason for it,i dont think anyone desides to be things like that for the sake of it.Maybe the personality disorder your thinking of is being Narcissistic?I could be wrong tho.Maybe even borderline... theres so many labels these days

But yup I think me and Psychedelicious were more on about people without the same issues as we have and not depression or anxiety,cos i can totaly relate to feeling hopeless yet feeling uncabale of helping myself.But yeah you do make some good points

 

[Psychedelicious]

Well you can get comfort from other people. Not all people do. Like I don't, and I don't think you do either, because it's not something that we live and go around tell people about. Yeah it proabbly is some kind of personality disorder, or part of them. I know it could be something similar to Münchausens, which is making yourself purposely sick for attention. That is more what I am thinking of.

I suppose some people who feel trapped, will get set in like that, not that they are happy or anything, and they are pretty much stuck until they can change they're way of thinking. Oh my god, I am like so confused. But I think there are some peopel who honestly enjoy being miserable, and cannot live with peace, because it frightens them.

How do I find my way in life with these issues? I guess I don't really. Right now I really don't. All I do is sit here all day with no friends or anything. I'm not really depressed though. I know if I had some opportunities that I would take them no matter how scary it would seem. But I don't want to just leave it at that, I'm just going to keep waiting.

 

[no1]

I think some people are just convinced that they can't live without chaos, or problems.

then again we could always use some training (and that at least takes a simulation of "problems) I guess, right?

I don't believe that we absolutely NEED problems if we didn't need them. Perhaps we do need them, for this world, and this way of life that we all share.


wel like I said , I don't think we absolutely NEED problems, that would just be relative.