Hairdresser ??

[lyricalliaisons]

I know this is going to sound ridiculous to nearly everyone who reads it, but.... I'm very nervous & actually terrified because I might be going to a salon on Saturday with the one & only (sort-of) "friend" that I have who I haven't seen in over a year, even though she lives two blocks away. I have very severe social anxiety/phobia & was basically agoraphobic for years. I'm also 90% certain I have Asperger's Syndrome or HFA. I've gotten better with being around people, but still avoid situations where there are going to be people talking to me. Especially for more than a few seconds at a time.

I'm terrified of going to this hairdresser, though a big part of me does want to go. It will be a new experience & I do need new experiences, seeing as how I have very few. It will also be the first time I've had my hair done professionally & I'm looking forward to having a hairstyle I like. However, I'm terrified to do it. I'm afraid because I don't know what the atmosphere is going to be like. I don't like going anywhere unless I know exactly what to expect & this will be out of my element completely & I'll know nothing. My "friend" said the hairstylist is nice, but "nice" really depends on the person. Her idea of nice & mine, are probably totally different. From watching movies & television, the stylist usually talks a lot to the person as they're doing their hair. That terrifies me. I don't know what to do or say when people start asking me questions. Even small, mundane ones which wouldn't phase anyone else at all, can throw me into an internal (& sometimes external) panic. I have trouble understanding what people are saying to me & don't know how I'm supposed to react, which also adds to the situation greatly.

My "friend" does know I have Social Anxiety Disorder. I told her a few years ago. But she still doesn't understand. I want to tell her how scared I am to do it, but I know she won't get it at all. I wish I had someone there with me to sort-of ease things along, but it will just be me & her & she'll be no help. She might even make things worse by saying something & getting the hairstylist to talk to me more, &/or making me more confused.

I know this is a really dumb post, but I'd really like some advice if anyone has anything they can say, I'll appreciate it. What I'd like to know is what the atmosphere is usually like & what I might expect. If I should explain more to my friend what it's going to be like for me. Or any other tips that might help. Thanks to anyone who has actually read any of this . I know it's VERY long.

 

[Moonchild]

First of all I am going to tell you something extremely confidential...
Hairdressers do not kill people! ( <---my failed atempt to make a joke :S)
Don't worry, it will be fun. She might ask you some things to brake the ice
or she might make some jokes. If you are lucky, not the kind of jokes I make!
But I am sure she will be descret and will not insist on having a conversation if she senses that you do not feel like talking.
In my country a hairdresser is the cheap solution of psychotherapy. Women go there
if they desperately want to talk to someone and they reveal their darkest secrets.
Think of the poor hairdresser... She would probably just want to do her job and go home
but she has to listen all these things about marriages, secret love affairs, lost boyfriends, lifetime lovers...
bla bla bla.
But you know what? All of us women deep inside, we absolutely adore chatting about
such things. So why don't you relax and enjoy? It's like a secret feminine conspiracy.
Not to mention how extrmely relaxing it is having someone taking care of your hair...
It makes you feel like a queen or something. Especially if it includes head massage..
Go enjoy lyricalliaisons. And let us know how it was, ok?

 

[Beyondshy]

I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets nervous about going to hairdressers! I haven't been for a couple of years, I got my sister to cut my hair last time but it needs cutting again.
Last time I went it wasn't as bad as I expected. I think the hairdresser could tell that I wasn't the most talkative person in the world so she only talked a little. I suppose you could always tell your hairdresser that you have a headache or a hangover if you want to give an excuse why you aren't talking much! I'm sure it'll be a boost to your confidence and happiness once you've got a new hairstyle, it definitely was for me! Enjoy it

 

[danstelter]

If you don't know how to react, then come up with your own way to react! This is a chance to embrace your creativity. Just look at people's reactions and you can judge whether they like what you did or not. If they scowl or or grimace, they didn't like it; if they laugh or smile, they did. If you don't understand, ask them questions back until you do understand. Or, don't talk at all. Not everybody customer is super chatty and ready to have an intense conversation...don't let TV give you the wrong idea. Some people just go and are quiet and enjoy the haircut without conversation, and you can too. Just pick a set of actions that you are comfortable with and use those. Good luck, and relax and just enjoy the experience!

 

[AlleyCat]

I can so relate to how you feel about going to the salon. I always get very nervous before going and I'm the absolute worst at trying to make small talk. I go to a lady now that has her own little shop added on to her house and it's usually not too busy when I go. That has helped me a lot and she also knows by now that I'm very shy and quiet and she doesn't seem to mind at all. I've gotten there before when she wasn't quite finished with other people and I've noticed some were very talkative but there were also some that didn't say very much so I'm sure that they are used to getting all different personalities. I hope it will be a positive experience for you and I'm sure your new hairstyle will look beautiful.

 

[-hermit-]

I haven't had a hair cut in about 10 months and even then I just shaved it all off my self.

 

[2Crowded]

Well its barber shop for me as im a dude but anyway same difference.. talking go's on there..probly just a bit different topic choices than lady's have... my hair wont take as long as yours will to cut probly...but the waiting game to be next in the chair is just about as bad for me as being in the chair is sometimes..cause i sit there & dred what might be asked of me question wise when its my turn... "So where do you work?"..."are you married?"..."how old are you?"..."where do you live"...my most dreaded questions to be asked because the answers are embarassing to me because I get the feeling that they think to themselves "hmmmm this guys a reject" when there is a big dead pause after i answer.....10 times worse when there are other guys facing me like 5 feet from me waiting thier turn & listening to the conversasion.

Im due for my next trim here very soon...never like it...allways hate it...& dred it days leading up to when im thinking i will do it....afterwords I am happy i went cause my hair looks real nice for another month & a half...but each time i get through it i think to myself..never again lol....but well you know... I cant give myself a flat top haircut & have it look as good as the barber can

I say go...give it a try...it will be tough for you no doubt...but you will feel good afterwords.

 

[lyricalliaisons]

Thanks, everyone, for all your advice . It will be helpful when I go to the salon. Unfortunately, that should be changed to IF I ever go to the salon because the person I was going with decided not to go with me. She practically dis-invited me. She's still going, but I'm not. I told her that I was really scared to go, but I was willing to & looked forward to having something done with my hair. But, she assumed that me being scared meant that I didn't really want to go, or shouldn't go. I know now I shouldn't have told her & since I'll now not have anyone to go with, I know it will never happen, at least not for years. I can't imagine going alone.

But, thanks, again . I feel stupid now for having ever posted this lol.

 

[Oscelot]

Yeah I'll admit that going to the barber is close to the top on my list of things I avoid. I couldn't care less about what we'd talk about, or if we talked at all for that matter. I just picture myself going red in the mirror.

 

[doesit]

Yeah I'll admit that going to the barber is close to the top on my list of things I avoid. I couldn't care less about what we'd talk about, or if we talked at all for that matter. I just picture myself going red in the mirror.

Same here dude went to the barber few weeks ago,got into chair and as a girl was asking how i want my hair done,my mind just blacked out for a second
after that my all head turned red 5 mins later i relaxed and got back to my normal color after walking out it felt good and i would definately go to the barbers again.And the waiting thing is a real pain in the *** as ure dreding that SA wouldnt erupt throught the head before its your turn.