well I haven't nearly 'got it" but I found some things out... for example.. I use to think I'll be happy and cool when my boobs grow, then when I get a tan( I know apsurd) then when I get skinny cause I gained weight due to my SA friend and now I was thinking I gotta get my funniness back, but that isn;t the point at all. I think a lot of u guys aren't satisfied with r appearance.. and u let it get to u.. but the point is that even "fat, ugly" people, I'm not lol have tuns of fun, so we can't fool us with that... and we all have our own opinions the point is in getting them, out... so I 'm gonna start cbt.. I'm already putting my hopes to high.. but I have tooo... hopefully the screwed up me, will be cured!
got it!!!!!!!!!!!
- Thread starter chained
- Start date
Harleyq
Well-known member
I think appearance plays a role in SA for some people, but the big picture is a lot more serious than just being unsatisfied with the way you look.
You're right, though, people shouldn't base all their SA troubles on one thing like "I know it'll be so much better once I look this way or once I have sex or once I *insert specific, minute goal*"
We need to concentrate more on our insecurities, what we think of ourselves, and our overall tension level around social situations. Naturally, it's ok to worry about specific things, like appearance, but you know what they say about putting all your eggs in one basket or concentrating on putting a fire out where the flames are highest as opposed to where the flames began...
You're right, though, people shouldn't base all their SA troubles on one thing like "I know it'll be so much better once I look this way or once I have sex or once I *insert specific, minute goal*"
We need to concentrate more on our insecurities, what we think of ourselves, and our overall tension level around social situations. Naturally, it's ok to worry about specific things, like appearance, but you know what they say about putting all your eggs in one basket or concentrating on putting a fire out where the flames are highest as opposed to where the flames began...
reslo
Well-known member
i agree- i know personally i make a lot of excuses, i think about what i wish i had or complain about what i do have- instead of thinking about what could i do now to make my life better.
it makes me think of the movie mask (the true story about the kid who had bone deformities in his face, but was always positive and tried to live life to the fullest) he wasn't pretty but he was happy
and keep in mind manuel uribe- world's fattest man
was able to get married
in response to harleyq, i think that the "once i get laid i'll be happy" is definitly way too common
i think people will be happy when they decide to be happy
good luck with the cbt~!
it makes me think of the movie mask (the true story about the kid who had bone deformities in his face, but was always positive and tried to live life to the fullest) he wasn't pretty but he was happy
and keep in mind manuel uribe- world's fattest man
was able to get married
in response to harleyq, i think that the "once i get laid i'll be happy" is definitly way too common
i think people will be happy when they decide to be happy
good luck with the cbt~!
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blue-roses
Well-known member
That was how my BDD started - for most people with SA and BDD, the SA stems from the body image problems, but in my case, I was desperately lonely (despite still having some fairly close friends at that time) and confused (I hadn't figured out that my problem was anxiety and thought that the whole world actually hated me for some reason). I used to lock myself in my room and cry and then one day I started thinking, "if only I were pretty, everything would fall into place; I wouldn't have to try, people would just come up to me and be my friend, I'd get a job, blabla..." From there, I gradually started to obsess over my facial features, comparing them with celebrities and models and thinking everything would be okay when I had the money to basically reconstruct my entire face! Of course, I would still never be happy, no matter how many surgeries I had, and you can be the most (physically) beautiful person and still have no charisma or kindness whatsoever. I'm starting CBT soon, too...I hope it works...but atm I hate my disgusting "fish face" (as I christened it during an attack this morning, haha) so much that I don't see how it will...I might feel better about myself, but others will still find me repulsive. ANYWAY, I know those are just my horrible little "negative automatic thoughts" talking and really, I am hopeful about it all. And for you too! Good luck with it! 
Richey
Well-known member
Its like the story of Syd Barret from Pink FLoyd, he was their lead singer, guitar playing, ideas guru, he started the band and also looked fantastic..he had it all going for him until their success and, then he crumbled under the pressure of it all ..
he went from this:
http://london.jollypeople.com/files/2009/03/6a00d83451cbb069e200e54f26cf488834-800wi.jpg
http://artvoice.com/issues/v5n1/see_you_there/syd_barrett_birthday_tribute/syd_barrett
http://www.losrecuerdosdelunicornio.com/Articulos/Img/sydbarrett.jpg
to this...
File:Syd Barrett Abbey Road 1975.jpg - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
all in a window of six years. that photo of him at abbey studios was the day the other band members reunitied with him since he left in 1969. they couldnt recognise him because he had no hair and had gained so much wieght, and this was Syd Barret the man who was always obsessed about aging and physical appearance, he had the most articulate voice and was the last person you'd expect this sort of thing to happen to especially because Syd was a sensitive genius. all of this came down to an LSD habit which was so common in the 60's that it was almost normal, like drinking a glass of cola. he was unlucky in that respect.
back then they never had CBT or rehibilitation that they have now. i always think of Syd when it comes to eating habits. and how one day he just stopped caring about himself, the last guy you'd expect to act this way ...i use his unfortunate story to remind me to take care of myself if i let myself slip
another method i use is when i open the pantry door i imagine unhealthy foods as having red packaging with the skull and bones logo with "toxic" printed in bald black letters. especailly processed foods.
my problem is chocolate and cola. it hasnt affected me physically but i'll eat half a block in one sitting just because its a stimulant and i need something during the day. i tried to replace it with dried apricots and nuts but there is something about creamy sweet foods that i have a problem with.
in an other sense i'm lucky that i'm interested in basketball and i try to play for an hour every night after uni ..
he went from this:
http://london.jollypeople.com/files/2009/03/6a00d83451cbb069e200e54f26cf488834-800wi.jpg
http://artvoice.com/issues/v5n1/see_you_there/syd_barrett_birthday_tribute/syd_barrett
http://www.losrecuerdosdelunicornio.com/Articulos/Img/sydbarrett.jpg
to this...
File:Syd Barrett Abbey Road 1975.jpg - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
all in a window of six years. that photo of him at abbey studios was the day the other band members reunitied with him since he left in 1969. they couldnt recognise him because he had no hair and had gained so much wieght, and this was Syd Barret the man who was always obsessed about aging and physical appearance, he had the most articulate voice and was the last person you'd expect this sort of thing to happen to especially because Syd was a sensitive genius. all of this came down to an LSD habit which was so common in the 60's that it was almost normal, like drinking a glass of cola. he was unlucky in that respect.
back then they never had CBT or rehibilitation that they have now. i always think of Syd when it comes to eating habits. and how one day he just stopped caring about himself, the last guy you'd expect to act this way ...i use his unfortunate story to remind me to take care of myself if i let myself slip
another method i use is when i open the pantry door i imagine unhealthy foods as having red packaging with the skull and bones logo with "toxic" printed in bald black letters. especailly processed foods.
my problem is chocolate and cola. it hasnt affected me physically but i'll eat half a block in one sitting just because its a stimulant and i need something during the day. i tried to replace it with dried apricots and nuts but there is something about creamy sweet foods that i have a problem with.
in an other sense i'm lucky that i'm interested in basketball and i try to play for an hour every night after uni ..
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blue-roses
Well-known member
Syd used to be so hot. I sometimes think of him, too, when I'm trying to remind myself not to go completely mad...
I sometimes think of him, too, when I'm trying to remind myself not to go completely mad...That was how my BDD started - for most people with SA and BDD, the SA stems from the body image problems, but in my case, I was desperately lonely (despite still having some fairly close friends at that time) and confused (I hadn't figured out that my problem was anxiety and thought that the whole world actually hated me for some reason). I used to lock myself in my room and cry and then one day I started thinking, "if only I were pretty, everything would fall into place; I wouldn't have to try, people would just come up to me and be my friend, I'd get a job, blabla..." From there, I gradually started to obsess over my facial features, comparing them with celebrities and models and thinking everything would be okay when I had the money to basically reconstruct my entire face! Of course, I would still never be happy, no matter how many surgeries I had, and you can be the most (physically) beautiful person and still have no charisma or kindness whatsoever. I'm starting CBT soon, too...I hope it works...but atm I hate my disgusting "fish face" (as I christened it during an attack this morning, haha) so much that I don't see how it will...I might feel better about myself, but others will still find me repulsive. ANYWAY, I know those are just my horrible little "negative automatic thoughts" talking and really, I am hopeful about it all. And for you too! Good luck with it!
from what I just read about BDD, it's surely r negative automatic thoughts.. and I've seen videos of people telling they're BDD story, and look perfectly fine...
Chained, what is BDD? Also, do you have a phobia of being ugly?
Noca
Banned
BDD is "body dysmorphic disorder", the sufferer feels phyiscally ugly no matter how attractive they might be.
No, I dont' have a phobia of being ugly, it's not amoungs my other phobias.. but I'm working on it
u?