Girls know I'm shy!

[Cool_Un_Cool]

I hate it, most girls that have known me for a while, like my sister's friends either make fun of me, or feel bad for me.
If they aren't making jokes about my awkwardness, they act like I'm a kid, saying things like: "Don't be nervous around us."
Also, contantly they keep trying to make me "come out of my shell" by insisting I sit and talk more. Furthermore, they talk about me, like i'm not even there, saying: "He's so shy, isn't he?" and "He needs to be around more girls."
Yeah, right...
Ultimately, I feel humiliated and I don't think focusing attention on my shyness is going to help. I'm tired of being their pet project.

 

[Tab]

lol I get this a lot to from my brothers friends or my friends friends. I hate it too, I just try and avoid these situations.

 

[4seasons]

Take advantage of this man, seriously. Are they your age? It sounds like an easy way to get used to talking to girls, try to be around more when they're over and just try to talk. Think about it...you want to get over your anxiety right? Well the fact that they already know who you are and everything is like skipping the most awkward part in my opinion(meeting them, introducing yourself). take advantage, wish I was in your position.

 

[Yay4Cats]

That's RUDE..

I know. I always thought it was so rude for people to say something about someone being shy! Its something negative that you already know about yourself. I dont know why people think its ok. I mean think about.. what other negative trait is socially acceptable to call people out on? Your not allowed to be like "Oh he is so fat he needs to work on losing weight" Do you see what I mean? So why is this like one of the only negative traits you are allowed to say about someone right in fron of them? Oh, and right away too.. like if you don't even know the person! Also when people introduce you to someone and they say something about you being shy. Like one time my friend told me she was introduced to a kid and the lady inroducing him was like "its ok he's shy too" Am I the only one who thinks this is rude? Being shy should be an unspoken truth just like being fat, conceited, bossy, ect.
LOL Sorry if this sound like a rant, but it pisses me off. :evil:

 

[Cool_Un_Cool]

They're a little older, like mid-to late 20's.
Yea, I think it is rude they confront me about the way they do.

 

[Cool_Un_Cool]

Truthfully, I think they feel bad bacause I am physically challenged.
The way they talk about it is condescending, and the way the approach me about it makes me feel even more self-concious. Saying stuff like: "Oh, you're little brother's so shy."

 

[recluse]

I used to get shown up by these girls from school all the time, made me feel so small and stupid. I hate it when people comment on my shyness and looks.

 

[Sapphire_Ice28]

Uhhhh...Hate that! I've never been an extremely shy person...but I'm usually quiet when i first meet someone. They usually take it as shyness.

It's a good thing I'm over my shyness. My brother is the shy one now....although I was never nearly as shy as him....I know how humiliating it is to be told to "talk". Last time someone did that to me I started getting angry with them. lol

If you look at it from the other angle though, it's hard to get to know someone who's shy. But telling a shy person to "say something" is not the way to do it.

 

[Josh90]

Almost every week i'd get a comment at school like, 'why dont you talk more' or 'your so quiet' I BLOODY KNOW!

 

[Victor]

I'm very quiet too. When I was younger, I would sit on the passenger seat while somebody drove me somewhere, and he/she would keep telling me to "say something". All I would amswer was "I have nothing to say". At times I would become really cross and just say "Why don't you leave me alone now?". Of course, the scene would grow even more awkward after that.
Do people who try to make a shy person talk realize how useless their effort is? Unless tormenting a weaker victim who won't defend himself is the purpose.

What I have learned from my experience as I got older is that people react more to anxiety than to silence. I have partly overcome my shyness and I am far less anxious than I used to be. I still am very quiet around people, but I am serene most of the time.
Maybe, as I'm older now, people won't dare to say I'm shy or stuff, for anything an adult does, as long as it's not really wierd, tends to be taken more seriously than the same thing done by a child or a teenager.

Usually, I feel well around shy people, for we leave each other alone. Unlike many people, I don't consider silence awkward, but relaxing.

 

[dpr]

Re: That's RUDE..

I know. I always thought it was so rude for people to say something about someone being shy! Its something negative that you already know about yourself. I dont know why people think its ok. I mean think about.. what other negative trait is socially acceptable to call people out on? Your not allowed to be like "Oh he is so fat he needs to work on losing weight" Do you see what I mean? So why is this like one of the only negative traits you are allowed to say about someone right in fron of them? Oh, and right away too.. like if you don't even know the person! Also when people introduce you to someone and they say something about you being shy. Like one time my friend told me she was introduced to a kid and the lady inroducing him was like "its ok he's shy too" Am I the only one who thinks this is rude? Being shy should be an unspoken truth just like being fat, conceited, bossy, ect.
LOL Sorry if this sound like a rant, but it pisses me off.

I don't really consider it negative. I've always thought of quiet or shy people as smart. I guess that's kind of prejudice, kind of like how one might think of people with glasses as smart. I don't know why, I just do.

But really, what is wrong with being shy? I know for a fact, some people find it cute, endearing, interesting, etc.

I do think it is rude and insensitive for people to say "You're so shy," but let's face it. Extroverts are dumb and don't know any better, and it's probably just their way of trying to get you to open up because they truly want to get to know you. They just go about it the wrong way, but you can't really blame them. There is no handbook, like "How To Deal With Shy People."

 

[bleach]

Re: That's RUDE..

But really, what is wrong with being shy? I know for a fact, some people find it cute, endearing, interesting, etc.

Everything is wrong with it. It limits every option you have in life. You have read the forum, right?

 

[Victor]

Maybe he has another definition for shy. If it's not affecting your life in a negative way and you're just a quiet and calm person, then no, there is nothing wrong. It's even good, indeed!

 

[dpr]

Re: That's RUDE..

But really, what is wrong with being shy? I know for a fact, some people find it cute, endearing, interesting, etc.

Everything is wrong with it. It limits every option you have in life. You have read the forum, right?

Well it does if you let it, right?

when it gets to the point of being debilitating and interferes with everyday life, then yeah, it sucks. I guess what I meant was: Why does it have to be considered a negative trait?

I think maybe if we thought of our shyness or SP as just part of who we are instead of something that needs to be conquered or eliminated, than it may cease to be as big a deal to us as it once was.

I find arrogance to be a lot more annoying of a trait in a person than shyness.

Also, I think a lot of the "outsiders," the people we interact with don't necessarily perceive it as negative. Like I said, some may find it endearing. Just because we perceive it negatively, does not mean our peers do. They may think our untalkativeness (is that a word?) represents intelligence or maturity. They may think that our blushing is cute or shows our sensitive side in a good way.

Of course they don't know the whole story, that inside, we perceive our shyness negatively and feel that our untalkativeness and/or blushing are signs of weakness.

And of course there is a world of difference between "being shy" and having social phobia, IMO

I guess what I meant was that the condition itself is not bad, it's our interpretation of its effect on our lives that makes it bad. Others interpretations may not necessarily be negative.

 

[Jura]

Most of us don't have this opportunity and never will, so use it to try and "break out of your shell". In fact, most of us are dying for an opportunity like this. And as has been said, no one finds shyness a negative trait. We hate it because it debilitates us, but everyone else finds it endearing and cute, as dpr said. It doesn't hurt them, it just hurts us, so why would they hate it?

And don't say extroverts are dumb. Those girls probably find him interesting and want to get to know him, and are genuinely trying to do him a favour, as they don't understand the seriousness of the problem.

 

[dpr]

Most of us don't have this opportunity and never will, so use it to try and "break out of your shell". In fact, most of us are dying for an opportunity like this. And as has been said, no one finds shyness a negative trait. We hate it because it debilitates us, but everyone else finds it endearing and cute, as dpr said. It doesn't hurt them, it just hurts us, so why would they hate it?

And don't say extroverts are dumb. Those girls probably find him interesting and want to get to know him, and are genuinely trying to do him a favour, as they don't understand the seriousness of the problem.

yeah i know, i shouldn't have said "dumb." it's just that they don't know how to deal with shy people, so they just approach it instinctually by saying stuff like "Come on, talk!" which of course just makes it worse. They just don't know any better.

 

[dontbelikejake]

mann, i know how that feels, most girls treat me like a kid , i guesse it because they know im shy person cause im very awkward around them and everyone pretty much.

 

[Argamemnon]

I absolutely despise people who dislike shy people. I hope they will burn in hell.

 

[w*n*c*a*m]

Those people who keeps on commenting about a person's shyness are either:

1. interested to that shy person and he/she wants to get to know him'her better

or

2. That person was just an arrogant, insecure fella, who just wants to hide his/her insecurities by acting superior to a silent/shy person.

PS but you see, shyness shouldn't really be a big deal as long as it's not that extreme! I mean, if a talkative person is accepatble, why not shy people? That is life! And those person who discriminates shy people are just plain dumb! :twisted:

 

[Delric]

Hi there (I'm new, not sure whether I'm social phobic or just shy but that's for another thread)

Sounds to me like they're just trying to help. I'd LOVE to be in a situation like that to be honest... a bit of a nudge from someone who cares would go a long way when opportunities arise for meeting people (especially the opposite sex). Most people just accept it as a fact that you're shy, some even take advantage of it (perhaps not intentionally) as a way to appear more prominent themselves.

I'm trying to improve, but it'd be so much easier and generally nicer with a helping hand from someone who actually wants to help make it happen.

Take advantage of it, I would The more you reject help from others, the less likely they will be there to help out when you change your mind. I speak (type) from experience.