Getting bullied by younger sister

[jamesyy]

I'm a 19 year old man who was looking after my 11 year old sister, when she challenged me to a play fight. I thought it would be in good fun and accepted.

To my surprise, I get completely dominated and end up submitting 4 times in a row. The next day, she randomly pins me to the ground and wraps her thighs around my waist. Again, I submit but she says she won't let go until I say that "I'm her b*tch". She's completely crushing my waist so I just say it, but instead of letting go she forces me to say even more things like "the only girl I can get is a butt ugly retard" referring to my autistic girlfriend.

Eventually I can't breathe and throw up on the carpet much to her amusement. I've never been so embarrassed in my life. Since then she's been bossing me around and bullying me, I can't even do anything about it. She's choked me out, spat on me, forced me to eat a worm it feels like she's the older sibling. I want to bulk so I can protect myself but what am I supposed to do in the meantime? Just let her walk all over me? I need help, my dad isn't taking it seriously and I can't move out.

I've struggled with anorexia in the past and this is us in the links below:


Me= https://imgur.com/a/tBp3r

Don't really know what to do, she's really strong for her age.

 

[AtTheGates]

for future reference , dont play fight/wrestle with young girls.Its very irresponsible AND if anything goes wrong YOU are most likely going to be the one who takes the blame. You're a 19 year old man and she's an 11 year old girl...its not going to go well for you if she gets hurt while under your supervision. just saying .


the first thing you should do is just tell her to stop assaulting you or else you will contact social services and she'll get in "a lot of trouble"....She'll most likely stop after that.

if it continues to happen and no one in the house will do anything about it:

https://www.empoweringparents.com/a...ior-verbal-or-physical-abuse-drugs-and-crime/


Self defense only goes so far , seeing as she's 11 years old...fighting back in self-defense would be a bit out of the question , all things considered.



but you shouldn't have to deal with a juvenile delinquent attacking you like that.


do you have any visible bruises or other marks caused by her assaulting you?


if she has bruises from you two play fighting then thats going to look REALLY bad for YOU.



like i said, you shouldn't play fight with her anymore. bad idea.

 

[PugofCrydee]

First of all, at 19 you're not a man. You are a young adult, but at that age still not a man.

Secondly, you stated you've had issues with anorexia in the past, are you underweight now? It sounds like you have strength problems/muscle wastage if an 11 year old girl can best you (no disrespect intended).

Thirdly, it''s a bit hard to just 'not play fight with her' if she's just jumping on you and taking control.

In my opinion you need to look at yourself in a physical sense to begin with. Make sure you are in a healthy weight range and exercise, do some general strength conditioning. An 11 year old girl SHOULD NOT be able to best you on strength. If she does as you say, it says to me you are deficient in that area. Severely.

Lastly, you don't need to become a black belt to know how to defend yourself.
Take a few lessons in something like Jujitsu where you will learn to stop someone without actually hurting them by using leverage only. It's quite effective. Self defense is not about karate chopping her across the face to defend yourself. There are other styles to learn/ choose from as well.

You need to regain control of the situation physically. Apart from that have you tried sitting down with her and telling her how you feel?

 

[jamesyy]

for future reference , dont play fight/wrestle with young girls.Its very irresponsible AND if anything goes wrong YOU are most likely going to be the one who takes the blame. You're a 19 year old man and she's an 11 year old girl...its not going to go well for you if she gets hurt while under your supervision. just saying .


the first thing you should do is just tell her to stop assaulting you or else you will contact social services and she'll get in "a lot of trouble"....She'll most likely stop after that.

if it continues to happen and no one in the house will do anything about it:

https://www.empoweringparents.com/a...ior-verbal-or-physical-abuse-drugs-and-crime/


Self defense only goes so far , seeing as she's 11 years old...fighting back in self-defense would be a bit out of the question , all things considered.



but you shouldn't have to deal with a juvenile delinquent attacking you like that.


do you have any visible bruises or other marks caused by her assaulting you?


if she has bruises from you two play fighting then thats going to look REALLY bad for YOU.



like i said, you shouldn't play fight with her anymore. bad idea.

It wasn't the play fight where she did that, the play fight was relatively normal in that she let go when I submitted. It was the day after the play fight where she just randomly attacked me, I guess she got an ego boost. I definitely won't be play fighting with her again.

I could threaten her, but I'd never actually consider going to CPS or the police, it's not my parents fault she's an *******. My guess is she won't be easily threatened but I'll probably give it a try.

I've tried defending myself, not hitting her or anything just trying to get her off me and escape but she always overpowers me. I have a faint strangle mark on my neck and two bruised ribs. It also hurts to swallow and inhale deeply.

 

[jamesyy]

First of all, at 19 you're not a man. You are a young adult, but at that age still not a man.

Secondly, you stated you've had issues with anorexia in the past, are you underweight now? It sounds like you have strength problems/muscle wastage if an 11 year old girl can best you (no disrespect intended).

Thirdly, it''s a bit hard to just 'not play fight with her' if she's just jumping on you and taking control.

In my opinion you need to look at yourself in a physical sense to begin with. Make sure you are in a healthy weight range and exercise, do some general strength conditioning. An 11 year old girl SHOULD NOT be able to best you on strength. If she does as you say, it says to me you are deficient in that area. Severely.

Lastly, you don't need to become a black belt to know how to defend yourself.
Take a few lessons in something like Jujitsu where you will learn to stop someone without actually hurting them by using leverage only. It's quite effective. Self defense is not about karate chopping her across the face to defend yourself. There are other styles to learn/ choose from as well.

You need to regain control of the situation physically. Apart from that have you tried sitting down with her and telling her how you feel?

I've put on a lot of weight, I guess I would still be considered underweight but it's a lot more than before. I attached pics, it's probably evident from that that she's stronger than me.

I'm really trying to increase my strength, but she's been doing gymnastics for a long time and I've avoided physical activity my whole life. Taking Jiu Jitsu is an interesting idea, thanks. I might start looking for classes.

I think telling her how I feel would work on a normal child, but she would pounce on that. This is a person who just this morning went out of her way to spit in my cereal for no reason. Then when I spoke up, she slapped me across the face for "talking back at her". Appealing to her emotions won't work, believe me.

 

[AtTheGates]

First of all, at 19 you're not a man. You are a young adult, but at that age still not a man.


Thirdly, it''s a bit hard to just 'not play fight with her' if she's just jumping on you and taking control.



You need to regain control of the situation physically. Apart from that have you tried sitting down with her and telling her how you feel?

He said he's a man...so he's a MAN..I dont think he asked anyone's opinion on THAT.


Regardless, under the circumstances it doesnt even matter whether he's considered a "man" or a "young adult" . The point is that by LAW he is an adult and she is a minor.


she is a CHILD, no amount of self-defense training is going to remedy this situation . Not getting involved in any type of play fighting with her is the best option. if it starts then he should just go into a separate room and lock the door or just get away from her in general.


if she ends up with bruises on her from him using ANY kind of physical force while she's under his supervision then its not going to go well for him at ALL.

Threaten her with juvenile LAW instead.....that'll put her in her place....tell her something like social services can have her placed in foster care if they deem her to be a juvenile delinquent...(Thats not entirely true, but she probably doesnt know that anyway) ..THAT should be the first step.


Jamesyy, what im saying is you should OUT-SMART HER. do not engage in any type of physical altercation with her even if she provokes it. She is a child , she's not expected to know any better...YOU on the other hand ARE expected to know better . I guarantee you that if she gets hurt in a physical altercation with you, YOU wlll be held accountable for the situation simply because you are an adult and she is a minor.


trust me on this one.



also, refrain from posting pics of her. People might take it the wrong way. just saying.

 

[jamesyy]

under the circumstances it doesnt even matter whether he's considered a "man" or a "young adult" . The point is that by LAW he is an adult and she is a minor.


she is a CHILD, no amount of self-defense training is going to remedy this situation . Not getting involved in any type of play fighting with her is the best option. if it starts then he should just go into a separate room and lock the door or just get away from her in general.


if she ends up with bruises on her from him using ANY kind of physical force while she's under his supervision then its not going to go well for him at ALL.




Jamesyy, do not engage in any type of physical altercation with her even if she provokes it. She is a child , she's not expected to know any better...YOU on the other hand ARE expected to know better . I guarantee you that if she gets hurt in a physical altercation with you, YOU wlll be held accountable for the situation simply because you are an adult and she is a minor.


trust me on this one.



also, refrain from posting pics of her. People might take it the wrong way. just saying.

She doesn't give me the opportunity to run away or escape. I don't mean to fight her in self defense, all I want to know is how to subdue her (painlessly) so she stops hurting me. She's pretty tough, I don't think you should be worrying about her!

 

[AtTheGates]

She doesn't give me the opportunity to run away or escape. I don't mean to fight her in self defense, all I want to know is how to subdue her (painlessly) so she stops hurting me. She's pretty tough, I don't think you should be worrying about her!

like I said, you should outsmart her in order to prevent the situation from occurring again in the future .

in a situation like this its better to use wits/words to solve the problem before resorting to getting physical . painlessly subduing her could still lead to her having bruises and either way it might just provoke her to fight HARDER.



scare her half to death with stories about juvenile detention centers/juvenile law and most likely she'll learn her lesson. Start with THAT. Use words.

 

[PugofCrydee]

He said he's a man...so he's a MAN..I dont think he asked anyone's opinion on THAT.




also, refrain from posting pics of her. People might take it the wrong way. just saying.

Generally speaking, teen strength - even at nineteen - is no match for a man's strength of 30 years. There is a clear difference. If you deny that then you don't understand. I wasn't talking of the idealistic viewpoint of 'I'm a man because I say I'm a man'.

I completely agree with you though on posting pics of his sister. Not wise and I doubt she would appreciate it.

Threatening her with juvy hall probably won't work either. He has to defend himself without hurting her.

 

[AtTheGates]

Generally speaking, teen strength - even at nineteen - is no match for a man's strength of 30 years. There is a clear difference. If you deny that then you don't understand. I wasn't talking of the idealistic viewpoint of 'I'm a man because I say I'm a man'.

I completely agree with you though on posting pics of his sister. Not wise and I doubt she would appreciate it.

Threatening her with juvy hall probably won't work either. He has to defend himself without hurting her.

In a situation like this , its always better to use words/wits before getting physical (even just trying to RESTRAIN someone)



If he can use her own psychology to out-smart her then he can possibly prevent her from even TRYING to assault him in the future.



trust me, its ALOT better than having to get physical EVERY time in order to stop her from being violent .


https://books.google.com/books?id=Q...4FBDoAQhZMAk#v=onepage&q=fear tactics&f=false



what would be even better is if you knew a cop who could stop by the house while he or she is off duty (nothing official) to explain some things to her about assault.. lol. she'd be apologizing in NO time. THAT'LL teach her a lesson. She'll never lay a hand on you again.


They used to have D.A.R.E. officers in schools that talked about stuff like that....idk if they still do that anymore though.

 

[jamesyy]

Yesterday, she was trying to control me again and I told her that I'm not going to let her bully me anymore. When she tried attacking me, I held onto her hair and tried to restrain her. She overpowered me and pushed me to the ground, then she wrapped her thighs around my neck this time. She did that until I was knocked out.

I stood up and was really dizzy, then she wrapped her thighs around my neck again and knocked me out a second time and I had an "accident". She said I was shaking when I passed out too. I'm making an appointment with my doc because I now have a constant headache and the dizziness isn't going away.

I told her if she ever tries knocking me out again, I'd call the police on her. She said that she'd tell the police that I was hitting her and they'll believe her because she's a child. But I did tell my parents again and they took it more seriously this time, they told her off so I'll wait and see how she reacts to that.

 

[AtTheGates]

This sounds like one of those situations where most people would be about two seconds away from calling the police.


Im sorry , man.... but I think really you need to stay away from her. It sounds to me like she needs a positive female role model to DEAL with HER but perhaps she doesnt have that.



So instead: dont go near her. If she gets anywhere close to you, you need to go somewhere else and lock the door.


Also, Do not lay a hand on her. EVER. For ANY reason.



This is the bottom line (meaning this is how people are going to judge it) : YOU are a man and she is a little girl.

Sometimes its REALLY hard to have to swallow your pride and just be the bigger person but thats what you HAVE to do. Just walk away from her and dont EVER stoop to her level.



she's just a child , she doesnt realize what she's doing.


Some day when she grows up maybe you two can reminisce/laugh about all of this and you can forgive her for being a little brat. Maybe you can even forgive EACHOTHER.


looking back, she'll always remember that you did the right thing ...and thats whats most important.

 

[jamesyy]

This sounds like one of those situations where most people would be about two seconds away from calling the police.


Im sorry , man.... but I think really you need to stay away from her. It sounds to me like she needs a positive female role model to DEAL with HER but perhaps she doesnt have that.



So instead: dont go near her. If she gets anywhere close to you, you need to go somewhere else and lock the door.


Also, Do not lay a hand on her. EVER. For ANY reason.



This is the bottom line (meaning this is how people are going to judge it) : YOU are a man and she is a little girl.

Sometimes its REALLY hard to have to swallow your pride and just be the bigger person but thats what you HAVE to do. Just walk away from her and dont EVER stoop to her level.



she's just a child , she doesnt realize what she's doing.


Some day when she grows up maybe you two can reminisce/laugh about all of this and you can forgive her for being a little brat. Maybe you can even forgive EACHOTHER.


looking back, she'll always remember that you did the right thing ...and thats whats most important.

We made a deal, I'm paying her £5 a day and doing whatever she says and she's going to stop beating me up. I just can't be choked out again, it's so dangerous.

I don't see the point in lying, I'm not being the bigger person and that's obvious. If I could fight back I would, she's just better than me and I'm too scared to fight back.

I don't think I'll ever forgive her, we've always hated each other. She's going to grow up to be a narcissist.

 

[AtTheGates]

We made a deal, I'm paying her £5 a day and doing whatever she says and she's going to stop beating me up. I just can't be choked out again, it's so dangerous.

I don't see the point in lying, I'm not being the bigger person and that's obvious. If I could fight back I would, she's just better than me and I'm too scared to fight back.

I don't think I'll ever forgive her, we've always hated each other. She's going to grow up to be a narcissist.

like I said , do your best to stay away from her.

just dont engage in any type of physical violence with her. ..NO good can come of it..that kind of thing is just a downward spiral. Avoid it at all costs.

 

[PugofCrydee]

like I said , do your best to stay away from her.

just dont engage in any type of physical violence with her. ..NO good can come of it..that kind of thing is just a downward spiral. Avoid it at all costs.

Dude.. they live in the same house. 'staying away' from her isn't going to work lol.

 

[AtTheGates]

Dude.. they live in the same house. 'staying away' from her isn't going to work lol.

What would you suggest, rick james?...errrr...gandalf....how would you de-escalate the situation without making it worse in the process and someone calling the police?

>_>


is it something along the lines of: MORE domestic violence to deal with the problematic domestic violence that is already occurring ?



if thats the case, something eventually is going to end up happening to that girl and HE is going to get cuffed for it. Guaranteed. Thats just how it goes. I dont make the rules, im just letting you know.

 

[jamesyy]

It doesn't matter, I'm not strong enough to fight her anyway.

 

[AtTheGates]

It doesn't matter, I'm not strong enough to fight her anyway.

Just be smart instead then. You'll figure it out. good luck, bro.

 

[Hot_Tamale]

I was initially going to say "have another minor confront her and beat the living snot out of her" but that could turn ugly.

If she is going to be a "hell on wheels" narcissist growing up, then she'll get the snot beaten out of her eventually when she crosses the wrong person. If your parents can't corral an 11 year old girl then they're the ones with the inferiority complex.

 

[Hot_Tamale]

I remember I used to get bullied a lot by this one guy back in high school. He eventually got expelled for threatening some other kid. It's like my pastor used to say "If you give someone enough rope, they will hang themselves with it eventually."