Get away from me!

[NGP]

I understand now. It feels like there is a devil inside me. I was sitting with people at the table, frozen, face morose and sullen. I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, and saw another person inside me, frozen with fear. I started to almost yell. "get away from me! you are killing me!" I am a funny animated likeable person and this frozen personality inside me is hurting me, making me so angry! I should be talking to people, experience life! Can you explain what this means?

 

[BlackPuma]

Don't be so hard on yourself. There's nothing you ''should'' be doing. The only thing you by definition have to do is keep yourself fed, hydrated, sufficiently warm and reasonably happy to keep motivated. The alternate person you describe is still you. It's just how you get when anxious or fearful. It happens to quite a number of us here. :3

It better not to think of it as a different person. It's important to recognize it for what it is; a reaction to the anxiety. Whatever that person in the mirror may look like, it doesn't make you any less of a funny, animated person.

 

[Feathers]

Yeah, a lot of people kinda 'freeze', especially if they are not with people they know well, or are in a new situation, or might have other things on their mind (stressful, worries..)

When you get to know people and/or situations better, or when you feel generally happier and more full of energy, you may find it easier to warm up to others and open to them more easily, and show them your true self, which is funny, animated and likeable...!!

Maybe that 'frozen' part of you just needs a good hug?
CBT or some books or workshops/support groups or counselling can be helpful.. Good roommates or friends can help too.. maybe some journalling.. Or maybe some bodywork/exercise, to raise levels of energy..?

 

[uykucu]

Then you should find a good exorcist. Just kidding

You said that you are a funny animated likeable person and this frozen personality inside of you. This is important. Because it means, your this feeling is temporary.

People know me as "frozen personality". But I am "a funny animated likeable person" inside of me. So, yours looks like just depression, mine SAD or maybe dysthymia.

I hope you'll get better soon

 

[kihira]

This is actually good - you have recognised something that you can now address. I do the same in similar situations if I'm not careful. It is most likely just your thinking process looping wrong thoughts and can be tackled with something like CBT

 

[JosephG]

Yeah, a lot of people kinda 'freeze', especially if they are not with people they know well, or are in a new situation, or might have other things on their mind (stressful, worries..)

When you get to know people and/or situations better, or when you feel generally happier and more full of energy, you may find it easier to warm up to others and open to them more easily, and show them your true self, which is funny, animated and likeable...!!

I really like what you said. It is like what I am experiencing. I think I am in a constant freeze. Someone says something to me and I just mutter out a response. It's not natural. It's horrible

 

[NGP]

Yeah, a lot of people kinda 'freeze', especially if they are not with people they know well, or are in a new situation, or might have other things on their mind (stressful, worries..)

When you get to know people and/or situations better, or when you feel generally happier and more full of energy, you may find it easier to warm up to others and open to them more easily, and show them your true self, which is funny, animated and likeable...!!

Maybe that 'frozen' part of you just needs a good hug?
CBT or some books or workshops/support groups or counselling can be helpful.. Good roommates or friends can help too.. maybe some journalling.. Or maybe some bodywork/exercise, to raise levels of energy..?

Great post. But i have done alost all of those things and nothing seems to have helped.

 

[Feathers]

Great post. But i have done alost all of those things and nothing seems to have helped.

Hmm, what exactly have you done? Which books have you read? What is your nutrition/lifestyle like? The age might be relevant a bit too..

Some people online say that 'The Feeling Good Handbook' by Dr David Burns is better at explaining and teaching CBT than their therapist was... It seems to depend greatly upon the therapist, some people were very happy with theirs, some needed to look further and try a few before they 'clicked' with someone..
Have you tried the 'Step by Step' anti-SA program yet? Someone on this forum recommends it and I found the handbook there really helpful too!!

There are actually two things you are talking about: the freezing and then disliking it, and being angry at yourself for it... You can work on both separately..

For example, you can list your good characteristics... and remind yourself that even though you freeze sometimes, you're still a good person.. Maybe you could do EFT or TAT with this? Have you tried that yet? (emofree.com and tatlife.com)
You could watch films or series with 'imperfect' characters who still manage to do allright in their life... (I love the final scene in 'Some Like It Hot' where the guy says, 'Nobody's perfect'!!!! Have you seen it??)
You may be imperfect, and still a wonderful person, and still loveable!!