Ashiene
Well-known member
As a Chinese male, one of the most important obligations I have is to ensure the survival and continuity of my bloodline and my heritage. My recorded bloodline and heritage (from my mother's side) stretches all the way back to a Hakka village in China, almost two hundred years before my ancestors visited this country and were the first settlers here in early 1800s (during the founding years of my country).
I am the only male left in this generation. My only sibling is female, my only maternal cousins are also female, which means the huge responsiblity to ensure the bloodline and family name does not die out is mine alone. In Chinese culture, the family name is very important and highly respected, which is why we put our family and our family name before our given name.
Every year, my relatives ask me about a girlfriend or plans to get married in future. Every year, as I grow older, it gets more urgent and forceful. This year, for the first time in 23 years (since I was born), I did not pay my respects or visit my relatives during Chinese New Year. It is a shameful disgrace to not pay respects or visit relatives during CNY (where unmarried ones like me also get hongbao or red packets which contain money from relatives). I stayed at home this year during CNY because I simply cannot stand the questions, probing and frustration of my relatives anymore.
In mainland China, because of 1-child policy, many families sell or give up their female children because females cannot carry the family name in marriage. This is why China has more males than females because families prefer male who can carry on the bloodline, heritage and family name, as females adopt the heritage and family name of their husbands.
So, as someone who has so many mental disorders and who never had a social life, let alone dating or relationship experience, I cannot see how I will ever get a wife. Even if I do, in the rare chance, I do not think I can raise my own children knowing that I am incapable of doing so, and do not want to pass my mental disorders to them as well. My father's side has 3 generations with SAD and I know my children may get it and I do not want them to have this.
This is why I am very sorry that this bloodline and family name will end with my death one day, and everyone will remember me as the shamed, disgraced killer of 20 generations.
I am the only male left in this generation. My only sibling is female, my only maternal cousins are also female, which means the huge responsiblity to ensure the bloodline and family name does not die out is mine alone. In Chinese culture, the family name is very important and highly respected, which is why we put our family and our family name before our given name.
Every year, my relatives ask me about a girlfriend or plans to get married in future. Every year, as I grow older, it gets more urgent and forceful. This year, for the first time in 23 years (since I was born), I did not pay my respects or visit my relatives during Chinese New Year. It is a shameful disgrace to not pay respects or visit relatives during CNY (where unmarried ones like me also get hongbao or red packets which contain money from relatives). I stayed at home this year during CNY because I simply cannot stand the questions, probing and frustration of my relatives anymore.
In mainland China, because of 1-child policy, many families sell or give up their female children because females cannot carry the family name in marriage. This is why China has more males than females because families prefer male who can carry on the bloodline, heritage and family name, as females adopt the heritage and family name of their husbands.
So, as someone who has so many mental disorders and who never had a social life, let alone dating or relationship experience, I cannot see how I will ever get a wife. Even if I do, in the rare chance, I do not think I can raise my own children knowing that I am incapable of doing so, and do not want to pass my mental disorders to them as well. My father's side has 3 generations with SAD and I know my children may get it and I do not want them to have this.
This is why I am very sorry that this bloodline and family name will end with my death one day, and everyone will remember me as the shamed, disgraced killer of 20 generations.
Not that it matters, but that is how I pictured you. lol. Must have misinterpreted something you said or something.
