toothpastekisses
Well-known member
****ed for another year.
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Fucked for another year.
- Thread starter toothpastekisses
- Start date
toothpastekisses
Well-known member
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Last edited:
Hylke
Well-known member
It's not really bullying is it? Anyway, I myself have found it satisfactory to just not care about those who I cannot relate to. If I am forced to talk to them I just pretend, and tell them what they want to hear (because it is more convenient), and I talk as little to them as I can, even if this means no social life at all. What's so bad about being a loner?
freestylemonster
Banned
Yeah I can relate...I was invited to the bar with a bunch of people in my class on wednesday and I just kinda sat there at first not saying anything. I really really wanted to talk and stuff so I just kept drinking more and more beer...I did lose my shyness for that night but I also made a complete idiot of myself (I'm a mess when I'm drunk) The next day everybody was trying to talk to me and I thought I was doing pretty well talking and stuff, but today I don't think anybody said anything to me at all..I'm really contimplating just doing a few shots before class to help me lose my shyness and be myself better.
would that be so bad of an idea?
would that be so bad of an idea?
joeljjison
Well-known member
Heres what I reckon...
I've been there. I've graduated now... i first started uni.. everyone was going to pubs, bars clubs.. except for me, it seemed.. i wasn't staying on campus (i lived nearby), and nobody really talked to me except for at lectures. i felt really alone. hang in there is really the best advice...
go to lunch with your peers after lectures, come in early and chat to people before them.. people to go out with to pubs and clubs, and be outgoing with... fuck that... its not friendship. its nothing meaningful.. you just spend your money on fake happiness, and get aload of pictures on facebook... its really meaningless..
people who cant accept you as who you are, including shy... because they dont bother to look... they're not worth pursuing as potential friends. its not worth acting fake, or using alcohol to aid you... we live in a time where people think if your depressed or unconfident or anything out of the norm you should be on drugs to fix you..
i cant really tell you to quit on the vodka... though i don't like vodka, i'd be a bit of a hypocrite. i was a full blown alcoholic in secondary school, and much of my uni time. and people didnt really give a damn. they just found it funny. 'hes such a joker' was a common phrase.
trust me when i say you won't get any lasting fulfillment out of people who only notice you when you've had a double vodka.
hang in there, and get to know people better... talk to lots of people, or at least hang around lots of people. starting uni, im sure alot of people have doubts leaving their comfort zone... everyone tries to go to as many of these parties as possible.. but dont rush it.. it took me till halfway through my second year, but i had 3 good friends who i regularly ate with, we worked together and all that.. we didn't go to parties, we just had beers after lectures, and chatted about anything. it was fun.
and in my 3rd year near the end ,i suddenly noticed some people actually cared about me..
you've got to ask yourself, what are you at uni for? are you learning about something your interested in (if not i think you've got a big problem)... get on with that first... you've already got something in common with people... anyone worth their salt has got to admire somebody with forward intent in something..
i dont think i've ever made friends successfully.. ive tried to and it always results in friendships that are brittle. it just happens... interact with people, and you don't have to talk or crack jokes.. just be there, talk when you want to. maybe it'll seem like people don't notice you, and maybe they don't. but somebody will at some point. nobody really lacks that amount of prescence. if you look at it from an outside perspective, you should know this... suddenly you'll notice that your friends with someone... and you won't have a problem cracking jokes with them and talking more, or you'll have a problem that you can cope with... you just need to feel a bit more comfortable with them, and vodka shortcut won't help you in the long run, because you'll end up needing more vodka for it...
anytime your thinking, vodka gives me confidence, or something like that, it just gives you more to beat yourself up about later. im a musician, and i almost ran into the slippery slope of 'alcohol makes me play better'... it doesn't . it just makes me see it differently. and play differently. theres always a trade off.. we don't get anything for free.
time is always a good thing to exchange for what you want though... you can get anything with sufficient time. and you have at least another year at uni. be patient, be you, and stay focused
I've been there. I've graduated now... i first started uni.. everyone was going to pubs, bars clubs.. except for me, it seemed.. i wasn't staying on campus (i lived nearby), and nobody really talked to me except for at lectures. i felt really alone. hang in there is really the best advice...
go to lunch with your peers after lectures, come in early and chat to people before them.. people to go out with to pubs and clubs, and be outgoing with... fuck that... its not friendship. its nothing meaningful.. you just spend your money on fake happiness, and get aload of pictures on facebook... its really meaningless..
people who cant accept you as who you are, including shy... because they dont bother to look... they're not worth pursuing as potential friends. its not worth acting fake, or using alcohol to aid you... we live in a time where people think if your depressed or unconfident or anything out of the norm you should be on drugs to fix you..
i cant really tell you to quit on the vodka... though i don't like vodka, i'd be a bit of a hypocrite. i was a full blown alcoholic in secondary school, and much of my uni time. and people didnt really give a damn. they just found it funny. 'hes such a joker' was a common phrase.
trust me when i say you won't get any lasting fulfillment out of people who only notice you when you've had a double vodka.
hang in there, and get to know people better... talk to lots of people, or at least hang around lots of people. starting uni, im sure alot of people have doubts leaving their comfort zone... everyone tries to go to as many of these parties as possible.. but dont rush it.. it took me till halfway through my second year, but i had 3 good friends who i regularly ate with, we worked together and all that.. we didn't go to parties, we just had beers after lectures, and chatted about anything. it was fun.
and in my 3rd year near the end ,i suddenly noticed some people actually cared about me..
you've got to ask yourself, what are you at uni for? are you learning about something your interested in (if not i think you've got a big problem)... get on with that first... you've already got something in common with people... anyone worth their salt has got to admire somebody with forward intent in something..
i dont think i've ever made friends successfully.. ive tried to and it always results in friendships that are brittle. it just happens... interact with people, and you don't have to talk or crack jokes.. just be there, talk when you want to. maybe it'll seem like people don't notice you, and maybe they don't. but somebody will at some point. nobody really lacks that amount of prescence. if you look at it from an outside perspective, you should know this... suddenly you'll notice that your friends with someone... and you won't have a problem cracking jokes with them and talking more, or you'll have a problem that you can cope with... you just need to feel a bit more comfortable with them, and vodka shortcut won't help you in the long run, because you'll end up needing more vodka for it...
anytime your thinking, vodka gives me confidence, or something like that, it just gives you more to beat yourself up about later. im a musician, and i almost ran into the slippery slope of 'alcohol makes me play better'... it doesn't . it just makes me see it differently. and play differently. theres always a trade off.. we don't get anything for free.
time is always a good thing to exchange for what you want though... you can get anything with sufficient time. and you have at least another year at uni. be patient, be you, and stay focused
Tab
Well-known member
Theres been sooo many times I've wanted to go to classes drunk to make things a little easier on me. I've never done it and don't think I would cuz its not really the type of time to be feeling exited and all the like. But seriously, I feel really bad going to school and miss social events and wish I could do them. When I go to school I kind of switch off. The best way to describe it is I feel like a ghost but at the same time I feel like if I do anything I'll embarrass myself. I really want to make friends but I don't know where to start. I'll sit in classes and I watch all the other people around me, they start talking to people they don't know, yet no one ever talks to me and I don't know why.
Back to you, I feel like I can't continue either but I'm in my last year and I taking it one day at a time. Ya I'm on meds too but they only help a bit. I'm just waiting till the end of April when I'll be done that hell hole for good.
Back to you, I feel like I can't continue either but I'm in my last year and I taking it one day at a time. Ya I'm on meds too but they only help a bit. I'm just waiting till the end of April when I'll be done that hell hole for good.
BIG_FRINGE
Active member
Im not being funny but...you place far to much importance on simple activities. thats the problem. going to lunch with someone doesnt mean you have to perform well at good conversation and jokes over sandwiches its not a make or break test to wether u will be hired as a friend, its literally people sitting eating, its just nicer to do it in company. im at uni, and ive sat with loadsa people i dont know today, had a conversation, gone home and not even thought twice about them. coz it dont matter. just let things flow naturally.
and if your gonna be one minute pissed and outgoing and the next minute shy and sober, yeh people will think ur wierd because its like u have two personalitys, coz they dont know ur pissed! just be sober and shy the hole time, people will like you more for being who u r, than someone who cracks jokes coz uve had a few. its ok to trust people ya know, but just never 100% why do u want to be loved for someone who ur not? trust me trying to be someone ur not is alot harder to manage than having SA, because atleast with SA your consistant, when ur trying to be someone ur not, its easy to slip up and reveal ur true self, and people will be thrown back like wtf?
take one day at a time. no more vodka before class. study in ur lectures, if u talk to someone great, if you dont then dont worry! just go home.
and if your gonna be one minute pissed and outgoing and the next minute shy and sober, yeh people will think ur wierd because its like u have two personalitys, coz they dont know ur pissed! just be sober and shy the hole time, people will like you more for being who u r, than someone who cracks jokes coz uve had a few. its ok to trust people ya know, but just never 100% why do u want to be loved for someone who ur not? trust me trying to be someone ur not is alot harder to manage than having SA, because atleast with SA your consistant, when ur trying to be someone ur not, its easy to slip up and reveal ur true self, and people will be thrown back like wtf?
take one day at a time. no more vodka before class. study in ur lectures, if u talk to someone great, if you dont then dont worry! just go home.