friendly/polite vs. interested

[chev]

I am just curious how to tell the difference between when a man is just being friendly/polite or is interested...

-friendly hug or if he's interested
-joking/teasing (other girls somehow know when joking/teasing is flirty, but I can't seem to tell the difference-I usually think it's just casual and not flirty)
-smiles

etc...any other social cues to differentiate friendly vs. flirty/interested

I'd like to be better at picking up on the differences. I'd like to think I've just been oblivious to men showing interest. I feel like I can see when guys are interested in my friends, though, so that's probably not the case.

 

[PugofCrydee]

It depends on the guy because everyone is different.

But in a lot of cases one sure sign of flirting is the slightly longer, lingering eye contact with a slight smile.

Yes joking/teasing is sometimes an indicator. Hugging too, but I believe hugs are more of a 'friendship' indicator.

I dont know, maybe women see hugs differently to men?

 

[awkwardamanda]

I only wish I knew.:idontknow:

I never get hugs from guys that aren't family. If I ever do I'm gonna be like, "What is going on?" I have no idea whether a smile is just a friendly smile or not. If I want it to be something more I'll just convince myself that I'm reading into things too much and that it was simply a nonverbal hello. There was a guy I liked when I was in university. We only talked a few times. In this one class I sat in the row behind him and he turned around an awful lot. I had no idea whether he was looking at me or not. There was all of three people (all girls) in the back row. I looked away and only caught this out of the corner of my eye. One day he nodded at me as we passed in the halls and I smiled back. Another time I saw him walking towards me and he smiled and nodded as he passed so I smiled too. He had a habit of nodding anyway so I assumed it was just his way of saying hello. One day I was walking through a big lobby and I happened to turn my head. I saw he was a little ways off and looking my way so I smiled and he smiled too and I continued on my way. It's like, was he already watching me? Or was it purely coincidence that he looked over at the same time I did? I have no clue. I was on my way out of a class once while he was on his way in. I smiled and I got this raised-eyebrows smile from him, like he was surprised to see me or something. Apparently the eyebrow flash can signify attraction and I walked away thinking, "What just happened?" Of course there were plenty of other times I saw him around and he either didn't see me or didn't acknowledge me, so who the hell knows? I suck at reading people so even if it's likely nothing, there's still a thousand what-ifs and I dwell on this kinda crap anyway.:kickingmyself:

 

[Megaten]

To me I would think joking/teasing would be kinda a guy testing the waters and maybe leading into flirting. You'd probably wanna ask how well/long you've know the guy. I say that because if you barely know someone and they're being playful with you, then they are probably attracted to you as he hasnt known you long enough to consider you a friend. I wish I could say more about the other stuff but I personally suck at flirting lol.

 

[grapevine]

Its so confusing..

I get alot of messing about and joking alot- but then I see him doing that with the much older women- so ..??

But I have found that - when a guy is wanting to just be around you- if he is trying hard to come up with things to say to you and looks nervous..

that is kind of my indicator - but every guy is different.

And I do know that guys also put their life in compartments (apparently?) so they are not exactly thinking about you all the time like women do- they might be in work mode or so instead.

Oh, also there is one (perhaps indicator or like) that this guy does to me and I dont think I have seen him do it to any other person (but Im not sure) and that is when Im leaving he always has to open the door for me personally and tell me goodbye etc.

So that may be a sign too.

But still nothing is ever the same- and yeah- I wish I could give you straight answers! I feel your confusion.

 

[awkwardamanda]

I say that because if you barely know someone and they're being playful with you, then they are probably attracted to you as he hasnt known you long enough to consider you a friend.

That reminded me of a guy who may have had a thing for me. We had a class together and talked a bit. It was one of the few classes where I was comfortable enough to participate. I think he made a comment one day like, "Well you seem to know what's going on in this class." I can't remember much of what we said actually, but something seemed odd about the way he talked to me. I just remember wondering if he was trying to flirt or not. I wasn't interested. I had a boyfriend at the time. One day he mentioned his girlfriend and I figured, "Ok, he's not flirting," but then at some point he said that he didn't want her to be his girlfriend anymore. Like, why are you telling me this? So I dunno. There was this lounge I hung out in often and at least a couple of times, he came in there and went out of his way to walk across the lounge to come talk to me. So that made suspicious. What really tipped me off was when we were talking and he bopped me on the head with a stack of papers. If you don't know someone that well, you don't just bop them on the head unless you're flirting or just too clueless to understand what's socially appropriate.mg:

 

[Razzlecherry]

The problem is, men don't know when the **** you're interested either. Some don't really care, Yknow the super confident ones, and make a move anyway. All I have to say, is if you think he's flirting and interested, he probably is. Unless you're dirty or ugly.

 

[S_Spartan]

I think it's high time the ladies start approaching.

You know, everyone being equal and all.

Of course they would all be approaching the same
small group of men but it would be a start. Lol.

Just go up to a guy and say "would you like to join me at Olive Garden? My treat."

 

[awkwardamanda]

I think it's high time the ladies start approaching.

You know, everyone being equal and all.

Of course they would all be approaching the same
small group of men but it would be a start. Lol.

Just go up to a guy and say "would you like to join me at Olive Garden? My treat."

That's awfully bold. Nothing wrong with ladies making the first move...but ya know, not easy for us shy girls.:shyness:

 

[S_Spartan]

That's awfully bold:

Alright, then make it Wendy's or Panera Bread.

 

[Megaten]

If you don't know someone that well, you don't just bop them on the head unless you're flirting or just too clueless to understand what's socially appropriate.mg:

The old head bop technique. I hear you women can't resist it Lol.