Forming A Social Life

[Cruelcycle]

I was wondering if anyone has overcome loneliness and isolation and formed a social life? If so, how? What helped guide you towards that path? Was it really studying and applying self help book strategies(focusing on other or being more objective, exposure, realistic thinking) taking risks, joining a club, attending a new college, talking to people in classes, joining a sports team, etc.?

 

[MyTunnel]

All of the above.

 

[JCVA]

As for me I started going to the library just to have an excuse to get out of my comfort zone(my house). Whenever I see a table with a person in it, I tend to sit near them. Just trying to be in the presence of someone. Basically exposure.

 

[Feathers]

I've done it in the past Kinda all of the above, except sports club (I'm not sportsy) (I went jogging with a flatmate at the dorm though.. and later went to some dance classes, ice skating etc)
It's easier at a dorm/university/course...

In a rural/countryside setting, I've joined a literary club, went to some events...

 

[Silatuyok]

I don't have a social life outside of my family, but I am attempting to expand my horizons by joining groups, such as a small book club that I will be starting in January. I also volunteer places when I have the time. For me, it really helps to have someone to do these things with; I sometimes will invite my sister to volunteer somewhere with me, or to join a group with me. This gives me the little boost of confidence I need to start interacting with others. Many times, though, I just try to suck it up and do things on my own (though I haven't made many friends that way).

 

[Illusions]

I was wondering if anyone has overcome loneliness and isolation and formed a social life? If so, how? What helped guide you towards that path? Was it really studying and applying self help book strategies(focusing on other or being more objective, exposure, realistic thinking) taking risks, joining a club, attending a new college, talking to people in classes, joining a sports team, etc.?

My social life is way better than it used to be, mostly because I threw myself out there. I've gotten to know more people through school, work and by joining clubs.

Exposure of any kind e.g. attending courses or classes of any kind really helped me. You're more likely to meet someone you have a lot in common with this way, and chances are you will.

 

[brown dwarf]

I have joined the gym. I find it easy to relate to others in the gym. made some friends. but its still tough some days to find things to talk about. but yeah exposure thearpy seems to be working for me, however its a long term thing I guess. With time I seem to be getting more comfortable with who I am.

 

[Kinetik]

I just don't try. A social life has no priority for me. I don't know what it is, but I can easily go without it. I do enjoy talking to and hanging out with my family, and I like having a significant other, so my limited social energy has always been spent on those two things. I also work from home because I find a real-world job situation too stressful. So up til now I've always existed within this sort of bubble. It may burst one day and I'll find I have to really get out there and push the boundaries of my comfort zone, but until it does, I doubt I'll really bother with anything else. I do applaud others who go for it though, as it's probably the sane and healthy thing to do.

 

[coyote]

easy

first there was school

then the Marines

then college

then i got married a couple of times

several different jobs

girlfriends

they all had a built-in "social life" so i didn't have to create my own

 

[bsebring]

When I worked midnights in fast food I started caring for other people's well being instead of my own. At the same time I would run in the afternoon to boost my own self esteem. Life wasn't as stressful then and I really didn't have very much responsibility. So that's probably why I didn't stress over every little detail in my life. People came to me for advise, and it made me feel wanted.
Now I'm going through a transitional period to better myself. I have to start over again.

 

[Etbow23]

I've always worked and I go to school. It can be a daily struggle at work cuz I work retail, where you not only have to deal with people but you have to deal with the scum of the earth.

Sometimes I've initiated conversations.

But other than that, I haven't really done anything

 

[2QuietForThem]

I have one true friend that I found again after 15 yrs, and things are great with her. She's there for me even though she's not really buying into this SA problem I have. Her advice about my speech: Just spit it out! Yeah right. Anyway, knowing her has really helped me to the point that I stopped coming to SA sites for a few years. I should have kept up with the sites, though, because they really do help. I'm back now, and not leaving. I have my friend, but I'm still lonely as all heck.

 

[Cruelcycle]

My social life is way better than it used to be, mostly because I threw myself out there. I've gotten to know more people through school, work and by joining clubs.

Exposure of any kind e.g. attending courses or classes of any kind really helped me. You're more likely to meet someone you have a lot in common with this way, and chances are you will.

Unfortunately, I attended a commuter college and everyone in my classes seemed like they were not open to making friends. How did you make friends in your classes? Just ask them to study after class or something?

 

[Cruelcycle]

I have joined the gym. I find it easy to relate to others in the gym. made some friends. but its still tough some days to find things to talk about. but yeah exposure thearpy seems to be working for me, however its a long term thing I guess. With time I seem to be getting more comfortable with who I am.

Heh that's awesome about making friends at the gym. I'm a nervous self conscious wreck at the gym.