Finding motivation to change

[Why]

When fall quarter started, i said to myself, this school year im gonna change my life around

when 2010 hit, i said this year is the year i enjoy my life

when winter quarter started, i said same thing...

Seems like a cycle of broken promises to myself

These past months, I have been living in some lethargic trance. My weekdays consist of waking up groggy everyday, take bus to school, ipod in ears so i dont talk to any1, zone out in class, come home, work out and do some hw then try to sleep...

weekends.. sleep in, and basically do nothing at home until sunday night.

I havent even met any new people at school since i commute now and my classes are the same old engineering kids.

When ppl see me, they see a normal kid but no1 would think i have this type of lifestyle.

I cant find the motivatin to change my life because im scared of change, rejection, chances, etc. Now i cant even find motivatoin to study, and improve my academics.

I am a 19 yr old college kid and I dont even remember the last time ive truly had "fun".

i dunno what to do, i REALLy want to change but at the same time, scared and feeling hopeless.

How do/did you guys change ur lives? or have u?

 

[FOR REAL]

if it means getting a job, then im not interested (but thats only my opinion)

 

[Nack]

I don't really understand it either, I'm so close to graduate yet I felt like i've done nothing; enjoyed nothing. And apparently, after getting my degree, I have to throw myself at society, and somehow join the ongoing trend of making money and paying off debt. THAT I DO NOT WANT! WHAT I WANT DO NO EXIST!

 

[Scrabbl]

I am a 19 yr old college kid and I dont even remember the last time ive truly had "fun".

i dunno what to do, i REALLy want to change but at the same time, scared and feeling hopeless.

How do/did you guys change ur lives? or have u?

I'm in the exact same situation. I just want to say i know exactly how you feel about wanting to change but feeling helpless at the same time.

I don't realy have any useful advice for you but personally what helped me the most was finding a friend who accepted me for who I am and made me feel good about myself.

 

[mrb]

if it means getting a job, then im not interested (but thats only my opinion)

hmmmmmmm maybe if i decide to run a buissness running 3 and half ton vans ill give you a call scottie , only problem is you will have to move to ireland ...... but no kilts ... the irish wouldnt like it ::

 

[BlackKids]

Your only going to change if your not happy.
I found It quite simple (although did take me a few years, mainly cause I was stuck in a cycle of getting high every night. Which drains motivation and ambition).

Just ask yourself : Am I happy with who I am, Where I am in Life?, Lifestyle? etc etc. I'd say getting started in the hardest part.

For me, training for a marathon (doing it this year) then ultimately completing the Ironman challenge is my main goal. I'd say you can't set the bar too high. Never settle.

P.S. Change happens slowly. I have numerous goals: Girlfriend, family, stability, better social skills etc etc. Its unrealised and pointless to beat yourself up about not having/ making so progress towards your goals.
Its not about finishing in a quick time, its about crossing the line. Pulled directly a book I'm reading, and yes its a marathon trainer haha

 

[Brokenx]

hmm, i really need to try and change!

 

[Why]

ive been thinking of that quote "you miss 100% of the shots you dont take" and its so true = =

ive been trying to do small steps to take myself out of that comfort zone, like startin convos with ppl, but even when successful i feel i didnt make progress towards my life since 100% of society does that anyways.

 

[Josh5339]

My main motivation is I can already see my life slowly changing by just fighting more. Seeing more and more opportunities around me. I've started a friendship or possibly relationship, although can't be long term, with a girl that I like and likes me for being who I am. My family has even noticed a change in me as I started being myself, for the better. Like I'm becoming the kid I used to be. Not only am I feeling like I'm finally living (although absolutely terrified this bravery will be ripped away from me), those in my life have also commented on how it's good to see me like I used to be again. Thus, for me and also for those I care about. That's enough to be resurrected. Kind of like a drug addict having to hit rock bottom before his life re-starts (and I DID hit rock bottom around three months ago)

 

[Porter]

When I was in university I felt much the same way. I hid in the library study carrels by myself and largely let my time in school drift by. I regret not making an effort earlier, but better late than never.

I guess my motivation is the fact that I know I need to reach out an engage others, both in my job and social life. Working together, people can accomplish so much more than they can alone. Finding the friends who you can have amazing conversations with can bring a lot of enjoyment to life. I have a few memorable conversations that I come back to as so that I can remember what I'm working towards.

Savour every victory, every success. Make short term and long term goals, things that take you a little out of your comfort zone at a time. Don't measure your progress against what other people can already do. Only compete with yourself for progress.

P

 

[Wandering_Conviction]

When fall quarter started, i said to myself, this school year im gonna change my life around

when 2010 hit, i said this year is the year i enjoy my life

when winter quarter started, i said same thing...

Seems like a cycle of broken promises to myself

These past months, I have been living in some lethargic trance. My weekdays consist of waking up groggy everyday, take bus to school, ipod in ears so i dont talk to any1, zone out in class, come home, work out and do some hw then try to sleep...

weekends.. sleep in, and basically do nothing at home until sunday night.

I havent even met any new people at school since i commute now and my classes are the same old engineering kids.

When ppl see me, they see a normal kid but no1 would think i have this type of lifestyle.

I cant find the motivatin to change my life because im scared of change, rejection, chances, etc. Now i cant even find motivatoin to study, and improve my academics.

I am a 19 yr old college kid and I dont even remember the last time ive truly had "fun".

i dunno what to do, i REALLy want to change but at the same time, scared and feeling hopeless.

How do/did you guys change ur lives? or have u?

I am stuck in the same cycle of failed attempts to stop being passive.

It's my second year at a university and I can't even bring myself to start conversations with anyone around me. On the bus, in class, amidst the plaza; I'm surrounded by potential friends but I don't know how to even take the first step. Starting conversations and making small talk are just so painful and awkward, I feel as if I can't competently engage the other person. It can be very unnerving, especially when attempting to convince yourself otherwise. Change feels out of reach.

I wish I had some advice to convey, but I probably shouldn't be the one giving it xD

 

[thatketchupbottle]

I'm exactly the same way. 2nd year of college and not much progress, just going home and going to school with no contact with my peers. Hopefully I can change when I go to university in the fall. I think it will be better since I'll be away from home or worse... On a brighter note, I have done some of my small goals like exercising at least 3X a week for an hour and being more dedicated to my school work. Gotta start somewhere =]

 

[Qbmaster]

Motivation is not some magical thing that suddenly makes everything easy. The fact that you REALLY want to change basically means that you are already motivated. That is what motivation feels like. Now you just have to start working. This is not gonna be easy even if you are extremely motivated. No matter how motivated you are, your SA will do everything in its power to stay in control. It will make you believe that you lack motivation, and it is very hard not to believe it. Try to ignore those feelings and use your rational mind (which the SA has harder to reach) to make a strategy for how you are going to deal with your SA. My strategy is this: If the only reason why I don't want to do something is fear, then I have to do it. It doesn't matter if I feel motivated or not. It is a rule. I have to do it. What happens if I always follow this strategy is that it becomes very hard for my SA to take control. The SA works on an emotional level, but it can't argue with a rational decision. (I also like to see my SA as separate from myself. It has its own life and is not a part of my personality!) This is not a perfect strategy and probably not for beginners or people with very severe SA, but so far it is working very well for me.

 

[Why]

thanks guys, i feel optimistic knowing im not alone (cliche lol)

 

[Interzone]

I know exactly how that goes. I always promise at the beginning of every semester that I will change, the first few days are OK, but as time goes on hope begins to dwindle and before I know it I've resigned myself to be alone all over again.

 

[Bemzy]

I had the same problem!

I wanted to change my life for the better but somehow when I had to put my money where my mouth was I always failed.

At one point I just got so sick and tired of this I decided that I'm not going to think about it anymore, I'm just going to do it. No excuses!

To be more specific...a couple of years ago I was thinking about selling my service/know-how to small business owners in my area. I had the knowledge but I just didn't have enough will power/courage to approach them. I was telling myself I need to do it...this went on for weeks, until I "snapped".

I just decided I'm going to do it right now and so I did The feeling I got after I completed this "herculean" task was awesome.

Now I'm applying this method to all areas in my life.