Feeling worthless.

[chris11]

I'm ****ed. People at school think I"m this brilliant guy, but I'm really a wildly insecure person with anxiety. My anxiety has been redued substancially, but the insecurity has not. I still don't think that I'm worth while, and I don't have any real social skills. Some person just rejected me because I said that I might like to date her in the future. I just wanted to be her friend. Some person at school w anted me to tell her about something, I told her about that something. She then decided that we are going to that something together. We dont' know each other particularlly well. I'm anxious as hell. She probally is a little bit. I don't think she has any idea how ****ed I am. People just think that I'm a 1 dimensional smarty pants. I don't know why she wants to go with me. lol I'm in college, and I have devoloped my social skills this much! I've tried to tell a few people about my anxiety--two of them. One of them is fine with it, and we can talk about stuff (although not about anxiety or anything like that--we're not close), and the other avoids eyecontact with me completly. If she is interested in becoming my friend, or w/e, I do want her to know about my anxiety issues, although not nessacrilly in intimate details. She is a compasionate person, but I"m afraid of telling her. I'm even afraid of going to this thing, because I'll **** it up somehow. I can't deal with this bull**** anymore. People expect me to be perfect (academiclly speaking) all of the time, and I don't even have much confidence in that area--despite that I do really well. I want someone to know me, but I'm afraid of what couldhappen if they did

FML

 

[hardy]

The thing about being 1-dimensional smarty pants( all though i am not smart at all like some of my friends thought) is true in my case...but i was so arrogant i did not even listen to others.

I am 30 and i can advice you to go slowly. You cannot become a good communicator with good self-esteem over night. It took me from 18 to 30, 12 years to learn a few good skills that help me to just about manage around people for short periods. I still am not confidant nor do i have good self-esteem. Neither do people outside, everyone is at a different level.

If you try too hard, you will get no where. Believe me, i am telling this from experience. Have other things to do....if you are going to just concentrate on your lack of social skills, its a down hill. Learn a few basic skills(art /science which interests you), do community service(helps a lot in understanding about life through others problems), learn meditation(knowing yourself).