I always ask myself what's wrong with me... It seems that everyday I'm feeling anxious, tired and bored with my life. I'm not depressed or suicidal by the way but I always feel uncontented. I have many bright and new things that I wanna do but then I always feel scared to make a change. I always attempt to make a new beginning but then I end up feeling more disappointed with myself because of some little flaws that I do. I mean... my mind says that I shouldn't expect everything to be perfect because I'm only human and human naturally makes a mistake, but my feelings don't cooperate!!! And I hate myself for that!!! It becomes a routine and I'm getting tired of that!!! That's why I'm just being a slob, lazy, useless person for a long time now. It's my only escape! my family and friends see me as a happy-go-lucky-person but they don't even know that I don't like having this kind of life. .. that I want to have my own goals and steady future. Sometimes I ask myself if I'm just plain crazy or whatever!... I have a happy family, I'm not a sociable person but I still have friends who cares for me (fortunately)... I'm not rich but we have stable finances.. I'm a college student who has an average academic performance(fortunately)... I'm plain good for my look... but... I'm not happy!... There's no other problem but ME... only ME!... Gawd! I really suck big time!!! I don't even know why I'm typing this because what the hell does people matter about all this pathetic stuffs I'm writing about myself...