Feeling dysphoric today :\

[Kathryn.fr]

I know I shouldn't feel this way but I do and I can't help it, I was doing my hair in the bathroom and I was getting frusterated(sp idc) and I was kinda yelling at my straightener and myself in the mirror. My dad was walking by and said something like, "You spend more time than your sister in the bathoom, trying to look like a real girl." I know he didn't mean it like, I'm just a boy dressing up, he understands my transsexuality and why I have to do this. But I'm just as real as any other girl... right? I'm really trying to look nice today because I wanna go see this boy I've liked. But I can't do that if every time I walk into the bathroom and feel like a boy is staring back at me from inside the mirror. I don't want to feel like I need to avoid looking at mirrors or walking near them. Some days it's good, and sometimes harmless comments make them bad now I'm afraid to walk outside today and be seen. Maybe I should eat some food.

 

[kihira]

I think many of us struggle with how we feel inside versus what we see in the mirror, and how other people might see us is different again. Amongst these conflicting facets, I believe the truth is in how we feel inside, this is the one that is with us the most

 

[Pacific_Loner]

Hmm good post from Phocas
Besides this, I imagine it must be very confusing, and hard, to not be mixed up with your identity, and honestly I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I think maybe you should give up the whole "real girl" concept - I mean are you a real or fake girl, it's a pointless debate that will never find a conclusion. So maybe it would be less confusing to just try to be yourself with no regards to how people perceives you. Yes, easier said than done.
What a useless post I just wrote. It doesn't help at all. Sorry. I'll post it anyway.

 

[Kathryn.fr]

Opinions matter to me. I believe I am a real girl, I don't debate it. Just confuses me when someone says I'm not, and if I'm not, then what am I to them. I know my dad didn't mean it to hit me so deep. I'll try to stop thinking about it, I just feel like me.