Feel confident about relationship for the first time

dannyboy65

Well-known member
I've dated 4 woman and am currently dating a girl I've been friends with for 4 years. We both have autism and aren't ashamed of it. We are both college students and currently work 6 days a week. We are both very positive people and very open. She told me big secrets so I would know although I never asked and I've told her my secrets.

I feel very confident about this relationship, which personally I never felt before with my ex's as we always just jumped into it and didn't get to know each other. But not with the girl I'm seeing it took me 4 years of friendship just to ask her out then it took 2 months just to kiss. Yet this whole journey has been amazing. We have had phone calls where one of us was in tears. We revealed dark secrets and still never thought different of each other. Yet after everything we are happy.

She is becoming more confident as well when we met she would barely talk. When we started talking a lot it took her 3 days to start to warm up. Even her appearance took time for the first time on Thursday she wore a dress when she only ever wears long pants and a t shirt. She kept asking if she looked pretty nervously and Everytime I told her she was gorgeous. In the beginning hugging was tough and we only did in private. Eventually we started to hug in public which is great. Even holding hands we did alone before public so she was comfortable. To kiss me we first kissed cheeks and hands a lot then I told her I'd guide her through.

We kissed to early and it stressed her out cause she didn't understand if it was OK or to fast.although it set us back but we got back up slowed down and went at a better pace for her. Another month passed we started to hold hands in public and that night we kissed again but this time she was ready and now she kisses me in public, holds my hand, hell she even cuddles sometimes.

But the biggest thing I noticed is after I kiss her or kiss her cheek, or hold her hand she just smiles. I've never seen anyone genuinely happy just to have me. I see her glance at me and smile when she thinks I'm not looking. I just find that amazing cause no girl I've been with has been that happy with me like her.

Sorry about the long post I'm just curious, do you people have a relationship like this? Do you think this is going to be very good for me? I feel like it will be I'm just curious on thoughts?
 

grapevine

Well-known member
Im so happy for you! Sounds like your both inlove.

Im learning in my own relationship that communication is the key. That and patience,letting go, and loving yourself foremost to be able to healthly love your partner.

My relationship has recently turned a soft spot but its a bit different to how yours is as my partner has schizophrenic type disorder and he can seem somewhat dis-connected at times - but when you think he is not there-- he is actually really thinking about you- its funny.

Its quite an odd feeling to feel someone solidly love you. I thought my partner was an conditional and had so many insecurities naturally and still do- but he is stuck on me like glue and its strange for me - he is at his mates place in town atm and he rings me up to let me know he is okay and to tell me he loves me and what he is up to. We are always together and his eyes when he looks at me now tells me what I need to know. He has become very affectionate to me lately - and I have to pinch myself sometimes in realisation that this person I very much like is loyal and loving me like this you know. As I had the opposite in the past. Weve become very close within the 2 months or so we have been going out. It feels like alot longer. We used to work together and did say that he always kinda liked me, but I think because I worked there with him. Its like we both kind of belong together- we go together despite our differences and his illness and my illness.

Sounds like you can both encourage and build on each other with your affections. ITs a good thing : ))
 
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Megaten

Well-known member
Yeah I think you guys will be fine. Like Grapevine said communicate and dont overthink things. By that i mean, dont look for problems that arent there. I say that because im guilty of that and its caused unnecessary drama I could have avoided.
 

dannyboy65

Well-known member
Im so happy for you! Sounds like your both inlove.

Im learning in my own relationship that communication is the key. That and patience,letting go, and loving yourself foremost to be able to healthly love your partner.

My relationship has recently turned a soft spot but its a bit different to how yours is as my partner has schizophrenic type disorder and he can seem somewhat dis-connected at times - but when you think he is not there-- he is actually really thinking about you- its funny.

Its quite an odd feeling to feel someone solidly love you. I thought my partner was an conditional and had so many insecurities naturally and still do- but he is stuck on me like glue and its strange for me - he is at his mates place in town atm and he rings me up to let me know he is okay and to tell me he loves me and what he is up to. We are always together and his eyes when he looks at me now tells me what I need to know. He has become very affectionate to me lately - and I have to pinch myself sometimes in realisation that this person I very much like is loyal and loving me like this you know. As I had the opposite in the past. Weve become very close within the 2 months or so we have been going out. It feels like alot longer. We used to work together and did say that he always kinda liked me, but I think because I worked there with him. Its like we both kind of belong together- we go together despite our differences and his illness and my illness.

Sounds like you can both encourage and build on each other with your affections. ITs a good thing : ))

Thanks yea I am also schizophrenic with a lot of other illnesses and she is always there helping me as I do for her. It took 3 months but now she kisses and holds my hand in public. We are moving slow but i love it. We didn't say we love each other because that will come with time.
 
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