Feedback on my song :)

Liam17

Well-known member
Yeah just feedback would be appreciated :) thanks.

Other information: An acoustic song, might post it on youtube.

I hope your soul is, my mind.
for the world that we, pray in our dreams.
high in the clouds,
for the words, that we say, that we mean.

Dream in it the sky, as it’s empty,
we’re not far as we seem.
It may take a while,
for the rain, for the sun.
For your dream.

When i’m away, i’ll be lost
I’ll be thinking, of what you may see.
If you wanna come away.
We can be lost, and be free.

Help is in the sky,
as it’s empty,
its not bad as it seems.
It may take a pray
or two for your
Dream.

(Solo)

May your smile be awake,
Forever that the sun may be seen
everything i say,
Is everything i feel, what i mean.

Dream in it the sky, as it’s empty,
we’re not far as we seem.
It may take a while,
for the rain, for the sun.
For your dream

©Whitelines.
 
Last edited:

Snowdrop

Well-known member
That is really sweet. :) I like
Dream in it the sky, as it’s empty,
we’re not far as we seem.
It may take a while,
for the rain, for the sun.
For your dream.

the most. You got talent! :D
 

Liam17

Well-known member
Thanks :) not really shown my songs to anyone else apart from my friends (which are pretty much my band).

Got like 20 songs laying around :p
 
"It may take a while,
for the rain, for the sun.
For your dream."

"We can be lost, and be free"

I like those lines very much.
 

Liam17

Well-known member
Thanks everyone :)

I don't mind criticism btw :p

If i can be better, that would be good :)
 

3lefts

Well-known member
It seems to work the way it is. Can't find anything to criticize, I think it would sound very good! :D
 

Liam17

Well-known member
Thanks everyone, got loads of songs but not gunna post them all, might just post one more. :p
 
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