fed up of being the loner in the corner

theloner

theloner

Member
ok im from uk before i start, and what i got to say is this. Since my girlfriend leaving me for another guy, which she cheated on with, i have had no friends. i thought i would have made friends no problem, but its been four months now. and not a single friend. ive been to clubs/socs, ive tried speed dating, and dating agencies, ive tried online dating websites, friendship sites social network sites. ive been to pubs and bars, you nme it i tried it. and nothing. the closest thing i got was being called a pervert by a group of girls i introduced myself to. the only people i talk to at work is customers, seeeing as really nasty rumours where sread about me and no one wants to talk to me, i feel like im in an uphill struggle, and i feel really alone to be honest. i have started going to the cinima by myself now and everything but it just makes me feel more lonely, it also doesnt help that my ex and her boyfriend text me/ messaage me on msn/ email me just to tell me how happy they are etc, rubbing salt in the wound constantly. and telling me how useless i am. i just dont know what to do. i cant seem to meet friends or meet another girl. and i read the thread about the girls that are of lower quality. i dont think they are i just feel that i am out of synch with society. i man i feel like im looking in through a window watching happy couples and friends laughing and im forced to sit outside it all. i dont have social problems as i can see it but its like society is pushing me out so im suffering social exclusion. it doesnt help that im half caste, in a mainly white community, and my self confidence has ebbed and is at an all timelow with every mocking jeering comment i have thrown at me everyday.

thanks for listening and any advice would help me please thanks.
 
Helyna

Helyna

Well-known member
What did you do in a past life to deserve people like that around you??
Stop reading the messages. Delete them.
I'll tell you something: everyone around you feels anxious about something. I think you'd probably look at me and think I'm the always-happy type, and... well, I'm here.
 
theloner

theloner

Member
i have tried everything believe me. i have run out of ideas. and every day is the same i work i come i get drunk i go to bed. or some variation on that. i miss talking to people. not typing talking.
 
Liz17

Liz17

Well-known member
To be honest I think more people feel that way than you think they do. Alot of people have different issues that they have to deal with, your will sort itself out eventually atleast you are putting yourself out there to meet these people. Be patient Im sure that soemone worth waiting for will come along very soon. Stick with it, it will work out for you in the end.
 
Argamemnon

Argamemnon

Well-known member
theloner said:
it doesnt help knowing shes shagging him... its sorta killing me while im sat here alone
Click to expand...
Well my friend, at least you have "shagged" her before.. I've never "shagged" anyone at the age of 32.
 
theloner

theloner

Member
trust me. sex without love isnt anything special. yes i have slept with people before. i love my ex. and i thought sh loved me, and while she was sleeping with me she was thinking about the other guy. so it isnt a blessing more like a curse. and women do have that power over you so dont worry. its a cursed chalice. i want love ive had sex without love and i want love i could quite happily give up sex for love. but i have no one to love me. i dont even have friends to love me lol. i would trade everythign i own for one friend. even if i have to buy one

and i dont agree to "it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" because once u have tasted love u want more, even if you cnt have it
 
potency

potency

Member
the thing is, you won't be able to find someone new until you've moved on from your ex. You'll know you're 100% over her when the thought of her with another guy no longer bothers you. It takes time, trust me. Once you reach that point though you'll be able to see things clearly again. You'll see her for who she truly is, rather than what you saw her as in your relationship.

I can also relate to the feelings of loneliness that come with the termination of a relationship that you held dear. You look in the mirror and notice all of your flaws, thinking "who would want this?". Eventually it will get better but you need to make some changes for it to happen.

First, try curbing the drinking. It's a depressant and while it does help in certain situations with social anxiety, it's better left alone until you've gotten over your ex. Second, try interacting with people at work, or if you can't do that, make an attempt to make eye contact and say hi to people you interact with. Cashiers are a good place to start. Third, if you can afford it, treat yourself to a massage. After a relationship, losing regular human contact can make you depressed. A 60-90 minute swedish massage will help with that, as well as put you in a relaxed state and not so much in your head. This will help you in making those small social interactions I mentioned earlier. :)
 
theloner

theloner

Member
ell i am a qualified massuer. and im not allowed to make contact with the people at work in case it opens up the sexual harrasment issue again... which i never did i was too upset over my ex to sexualluy harrass anyone. and how can i get over her when she keeps reminding me of it. and im 26 i like younger girls but how will an 18-20 year old ever like an old guy like me now
 
potency

potency

Member
Do the hard thing and make sure she can no longer contact you. Yes, it's difficult, but until she's completely out of your life, you won't be able to get over her. Block her number(s) on your phone, remove and block her on any social networking accounts you have. Once that's done, make sure you catch yourself before you re-initiate contact. Because you will. So don't do that.

Secondly, 26 is by no means "too old" for younger girls. Sure, there are some that are not interested in older/more mature guys, but those are the kind of girls you don't want anyway, very immature.

For now, do not to get caught up in finding a "replacement" for your ex. Take care of yourself, and try those things I mentioned in my previous post.
 
theloner

theloner

Member
thanks i really want to block her coz she has just told me she is moving in with the guy she left me for.... and i think i will block her tonight. i just have to get the courage. it will just mean no one talks to me then at all.
 
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