cowboyup
Well-known member
I was wondering, does anyone, while attempting to be nice and a good friend, tend to overextend yourself? And if so, at what cost? Cuz I am feeling so drained at the moment. Don't get me wrong, I am happy to help, but there does need to be some breathing room....I think? I don't know anymore.
In some situations, it's fine I suppose. But in others, I just don't know. I wish I could figure "it all out" <-- whatever IT may be; life, people, etc.
Well, I got a visit from someone last weekend. Bro opened door - oh joy for the socially awkward when it's actually for you. At any rate, it was that person I know from out of state. His father had passed away, suddenly. Well, needless to say, I know (for real) just how he feels. I can relate. So, I put on my 'friend' face and try my best to be nice, helpful, insert a wise word or two. He's crying, sad, depressed, in shock, and on top of it, his father was the world to his mom-he handled everything; bills, etc. so he is very worried about what may happen with her as well as his elderly grandmother. He's been in town for a week now and seems that he's been trying to help his mother with getting things taken care of before he has to go back home.
I've been really trying to extend myself in helping in any way I can. I guess because I know how that is. My mom passed a few years back so I can relate.
He said thank you many times and how much he really appreciated our talks and how it helps him,etc.., bought me dinner when we went out to eat, went to 2 movies I didn't pay for....plus, get this, he gave me an ipad. At first I said, "no I can't accept this" but he literally insisted I take it....
I guess his dad had 3 ipads and this was one of them. And of course they have no use for that many. At any rate, I reluctantly accepted it. I didn't know what to say but thank you. I mean, I am being nice cuz I want to, that's just who I am, ya know?
With all that said, (darn that was long) tonight, he's texting me blow by blow what's happening when got together with some old friends. First it was that he's sad cuz his ex gf is at the burlesque show and hovering around the ppl he wanted to talk to and he's avoiding her. But she was probably just good friends with them cuz he paid for her burlesque lessons. His story went from sappy sad to "I got called on stage and hugged by a ton of girls, it was humbling and awesome"
then to, "now I'm going to the hookah lounge with some girls" (side note, 90% of his friends are girls)
So, I tell him to just go up to the group of friends and don't let the ex gf freak him out, and since she and his other girlfriend both know that they are solely responsible for him moving across country, it may secretly make their ego blow up, lol. But I didn't say that last part, I chickened out...just tried to encourage him.
Well, now, here I am, sitting here, feeling rung out and exhausted from all the texts. I try to extend myself being nice, but also I have been having to set boundaries with him because the 2nd day he was here, we were driving and he nonchalantly asked me if I could pick up his dad's ashes at the funeral home and deliver them to his mom if it's not ready by the time he goes back home.
Now that took me aback and I feel uncomfortable doing so...I told him as well.
Ok, my bitch-fit is over! thanks....
In some situations, it's fine I suppose. But in others, I just don't know. I wish I could figure "it all out" <-- whatever IT may be; life, people, etc.
Well, I got a visit from someone last weekend. Bro opened door - oh joy for the socially awkward when it's actually for you. At any rate, it was that person I know from out of state. His father had passed away, suddenly. Well, needless to say, I know (for real) just how he feels. I can relate. So, I put on my 'friend' face and try my best to be nice, helpful, insert a wise word or two. He's crying, sad, depressed, in shock, and on top of it, his father was the world to his mom-he handled everything; bills, etc. so he is very worried about what may happen with her as well as his elderly grandmother. He's been in town for a week now and seems that he's been trying to help his mother with getting things taken care of before he has to go back home.
I've been really trying to extend myself in helping in any way I can. I guess because I know how that is. My mom passed a few years back so I can relate.
He said thank you many times and how much he really appreciated our talks and how it helps him,etc.., bought me dinner when we went out to eat, went to 2 movies I didn't pay for....plus, get this, he gave me an ipad. At first I said, "no I can't accept this" but he literally insisted I take it....
I guess his dad had 3 ipads and this was one of them. And of course they have no use for that many. At any rate, I reluctantly accepted it. I didn't know what to say but thank you. I mean, I am being nice cuz I want to, that's just who I am, ya know?
With all that said, (darn that was long) tonight, he's texting me blow by blow what's happening when got together with some old friends. First it was that he's sad cuz his ex gf is at the burlesque show and hovering around the ppl he wanted to talk to and he's avoiding her. But she was probably just good friends with them cuz he paid for her burlesque lessons. His story went from sappy sad to "I got called on stage and hugged by a ton of girls, it was humbling and awesome"
then to, "now I'm going to the hookah lounge with some girls" (side note, 90% of his friends are girls)
So, I tell him to just go up to the group of friends and don't let the ex gf freak him out, and since she and his other girlfriend both know that they are solely responsible for him moving across country, it may secretly make their ego blow up, lol. But I didn't say that last part, I chickened out...just tried to encourage him.
Well, now, here I am, sitting here, feeling rung out and exhausted from all the texts. I try to extend myself being nice, but also I have been having to set boundaries with him because the 2nd day he was here, we were driving and he nonchalantly asked me if I could pick up his dad's ashes at the funeral home and deliver them to his mom if it's not ready by the time he goes back home.
Now that took me aback and I feel uncomfortable doing so...I told him as well.
Ok, my bitch-fit is over! thanks....
mg: