Expert at "walking on eggshells"

[megalon]

I feel like a lot of my problems with opening up to people stem from how my mother acted when I was growing up. She always finds something to complain about. She is constantly instigating arguments with my dad and my sister. I was riding in the car yesterday with her and my sister and they got in a heated argument. I did what I always do in such situations, what years of dealing with her have taught me to do - sit there quietly, don't show any emotion, don't choose a side. I'm always walking on eggshells around her. I've learned to hide my opinion on anything, lest it provides her with more fuel for the fire. On the outside I seem like a cold, emotionless robot. I can't allow myself to open up to people because I fear every little thing I might say or do will give them ammunition to use against me.

 

[BlueDays]

So sorry to hear your mother's behaviour makes you feel like that.:: I can relate to all of what you said as my ex was exactly like your mother.
One day near the end before I left, my mother described it well, she said "You don't feel anything because you are not "allowed" to feel anything".
I was able to leave that suffocating situation, maybe you can possibly work towards limiting your contact with your mother if her not allowing you to express your own thoughts/personality if affecting your life so much?

 

[doubtmyself]

I feel like a lot of my problems with opening up to people stem from how my mother acted when I was growing up. She always finds something to complain about. She is constantly instigating arguments with my dad and my sister. I was riding in the car yesterday with her and my sister and they got in a heated argument. I did what I always do in such situations, what years of dealing with her have taught me to do - sit there quietly, don't show any emotion, don't choose a side. I'm always walking on eggshells around her. I've learned to hide my opinion on anything, lest it provides her with more fuel for the fire. On the outside I seem like a cold, emotionless robot. I can't allow myself to open up to people because I fear every little thing I might say or do will give them ammunition to use against me.

I can so relate.
Sound like the people at my former workplace. you can't trust them. They are looking for ammunition to either cut you down or use later to detroy your reputation.

Find people you can trust so you can act like an idiot, a child without getting attacked. Your mother sounds like a real bully. Sorry to say that but a real pain in the a.... I'm lucky I never had someone close like that to deal with at home.

You main need therapy to "recover" from your mother. Hope I am being respectful there.

 

[Shyangel]

My mom is he same why. She is constantly insulting my dad and my whole family and endlessly complaining. My home is always so full of stress because of her. We are always so on edge. We all go out of our way so much to please her but it doesn't matter. She's made my life hell. I've always felt like I can't do anything right. I can definitely relate and I'm so sorry you have to deal with this as well.

 

[dottie]

RELATE big time

 

[doubtmyself]

My mom is he same why. She is constantly insulting my dad and my whole family and endlessly complaining. My home is always so full of stress because of her. We are always so on edge. We all go out of our way so much to please her but it doesn't matter. She's made my life hell. I've always felt like I can't do anything right. I can definitely relate and I'm so sorry you have to deal with this as well.

That's not good is it.
Just don't become like your mother. (is that rude?)
There are enough know-it-all bullies in the world without adding more.

 

[Shyangel]

That's not good is it.
Just don't become like your mother. (is that rude?)
There are enough know-it-all bullies in the world without adding more.

No it's okay. My god, I really hope I'm not like her.
I would never have children if I catch myself ever acting like her.
I honestly sometimes think I do though, sadly.

 

[this_portrait]

Sorry you have to put up with that. I can relate to the feeling of walking on eggshells, though. I felt like I did that a lot with my ex; half the time I felt like I was tiptoeing around to make sure I wouldn't say or do anything that might set him off (and naturally, I became more distant in the process, with a wall of anxiety constantly surrounding me).

I hope things work out.

 

[Azael]

I feel like a lot of my problems with opening up to people stem from how my mother acted when I was growing up. She always finds something to complain about. She is constantly instigating arguments with my dad and my sister. I was riding in the car yesterday with her and my sister and they got in a heated argument. I did what I always do in such situations, what years of dealing with her have taught me to do - sit there quietly, don't show any emotion, don't choose a side. I'm always walking on eggshells around her. I've learned to hide my opinion on anything, lest it provides her with more fuel for the fire. On the outside I seem like a cold, emotionless robot. I can't allow myself to open up to people because I fear every little thing I might say or do will give them ammunition to use against me.

Definitely I can relate to this.